The three shots came in quick succession.

The cry which escaped her mouth was gut-wrenching. Shi grabbed at her stomach as she stood frozen staring at the horrid scene in front of her.

Shi could not believe her eyes, her heart wouldn’t let her. Shi fell to the ground along with King screaming. She hurried to his side and grabbed his head.

Shi looked up at Spin with a looked mixed with horror and disbelief. Shaking she looked down at King’s glazed over eyes and let out an ear piercing scream. Just as the sound cut through the air it was replaced with a sickening thud. A gasp escaped her lips as white took over her world…

Part 1: Wifey

Chapter 1

Janell was sitting in her office in her home in Sacramento.  B.I.T.C.H had collected more than enough evidence for an indictment.  They’d uncovered evidence of drug trafficking, tax evasion, theft, multiple murders, assaults, robbery and bribery.  It turned out Spencer had a few Oakland Police Officers on his payroll.  

  Janell wondered how he thought he could take T-money’s place.  T-money had FBI, DEA as well as CIA under his belt. 

  Janell had been nervously waiting for a call.  She’d presented the evidence to Lavoy and Tavonte after Silva and I’esha went over it to determine its admissibility.  The information deemed admissible was turned over, and Janell waited for word back.  

  Lavoy and Tavonte were taking it to their supervisors so the official investigation could start.  They did their best to keep Shi out of the mix and as long as she did stay out of it and ran her hair salon she’d be okay.  B.I.T.C.H. was still undercover and making sure they were nothing more than innocent bystanders in the eyes of the law.  She did not want them getting dirty when the shit hit the fan.  So Brittany had pushed the envelope and was practically living with D-loc and no longer was responsible for cooking.    I’esha was officially with Rod.  K.C. seemed to be a one woman man.  He was with Shi’s best friend.  

  What’s going on?  What the hell are they doing? Janell thought thinking about Shi and her relationship with Spencer.

  The phone rang, and Janell fumbled for it.  “Hello,” she said mouth dry.

  “Um, Janell…this is Tae.”

  “Yeah, what’s going on?”

  “They’re- They won’t touch the investigation.”

  “What!?” Janell’s heart stalled.  “Why?”

  “Someone’s trying to cover up a fuck up,” Tavonte said bluntly.  Janell was silent as he continued.  “All it took was a few phone calls,” Tavonte said.  “And a big mouth or two.  Turns out Jeremy wasn’t that good at his job.”  

  Janell waited patiently for him to finish.  

  “T-money was a person of interest with the CIA.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, national security.  T-money had a lot of connections here and outside the states.  He was also very wealthy.  It could all be drug money gathered over the years, and years or he could be selling information.”

  “How would he be doing that?”  Janell had no idea how T-money could get the kind of information which would make the United States government interested in him.  Not to mention that it was total bullshit.  T-money was not that kind of person.

  “Well, like I said T-money had a lot of connections, and it was alleged that he knew people working in high places such as the FBI and CIA.”

  Janell’s mouth dropped open.  Her head was starting to hurt.  “But-”

  “Don’t worry no names were given or people of interest have been named.  Whoever had it in for T-money knew a lot but not enough.”

  “Wait, you think this was all some kind of set up?”

  “Exactly.  Anyway rumor has it the CIA was investigating T-money and has an agent undercover.”

  Janell’s heart was going crazy in her chest.  Her mouth was dry.  She was not so much concerned about T-money since he was dead.  The problem was the girls.  Depending who the agent was and how deep inside he was he could have way too much information on her, B.I.T.C.H. and the girls.  They all could be implemented in the investigation.

  “Well what happened?”

  “That’s the part no one knows for sure.  It would seem the agent is still undercover.”

  Janell arched an eyebrow upward.  T-money’s dead.  Why would a CIA agent still be undercover?

  “Why would-”

  “I don’t know Janell.  But Lavoy and I would like to know.  He’s trying to get in contact with Jeremy to see what we can find out, if anything at all.”

  Janell sighed.  “Do you think there is an ongoing investigation?”

  “I wish I knew.  But what I do know is something’s wrong, and there is a lot of ass covering going on.”

  “Look Tae I don’t want the girls in trouble, any of them, especially the ones we have undercover.”  Janell knew B.I.T.C.H. could take care of themselves.  They were killers and would do anything to not go to jail.  Though she asked Jeremy to take care of them she couldn’t help but wonder if somewhere connected to some crime was a fingerprint or hair sample waiting to be matched against them if they ever got a cuff on them.  

  “Don’t worry, I’ll, we’ll keep them safe.”

  Janell sighed again to show her frustration.  “Tae, call me as soon as y’all know something.”  Janell said, “Bye,” hung up and began stressing.  They needed a new plan, and that plan would have to most definitely involve killing.  

Chapter 2

Tavonte met Lavoy at a Starbucks in Fresno.  The two both took evidence and made proposals for an investigation to both their organization’s directors.  Both made an impression and had their directors excited about a potential investigation into the murder and drug trafficking which seem to be going on under their noses in the Bay Area.  The credit would be split between both agencies, both agencies playing nice and working together to further and better America. 

  Just as fast as it had started  a stop was put to it.

  Lavoy was called by the director of the DEA and Tavonte was called by the FBI director.  They’d both been informed there would be no investigation.  That was all that was said.  Tavonte had a fatherly relationship with the director of the FBI, he was the son he never had.  When he asked, “Why?” the response he got was, “someone’s trying to cover their ass son.”  And with that Tavonte with the help of Lavoy began calling around inquiring into why exactly no investigation would be and who was attempting to cover who’s ass.  Thanks to a few nosey secretaries and no-it-all fellow agents they were pointed to the CIA.  

  At first Jeremy didn’t answer calls and once he was on the line he refused to answer any questions.  It wasn’t until Lavoy got fed up and left him an angry message-which he hoped made him feel guilty-that he received a phone call.

  “Agent Tavern, this is Agent Pointer.  I received your message and would appreciate we do not talk about personal matters during business hours or with government resources.”

  Lavoy responded, “Nine o’clock I hear the Starbucks on Kern in Fresno is giving away free samples.”  He hung up.  

  It was ten passed nine as Tavonte and Lavoy sipped espressos.  

  “Late?” Tavonte asked.

  “Of course, has to keep people waiting or else he wouldn’t be in charge,” Lavoy said taking another sip of his espresso.  

  “The games we play,” Tavonte smiled stirring his espresso absentmindedly.  

  “Yes, and we all know the CIA invented them.  I hear it’s in their training,” Lavoy laughed.

  Just then Jeremy entered wearing a trench coat.  He walked straight to the table and dropped a thick manila folder down on the table.  “I’d appreciate if this is the last I’ll be contacted on this matter.  T-money or whoever he is, is dead.  That, I am very sorry for, he was like a father to me, and I owe him everything I have, and I am.  But, he is dead, and there is no changing or helping that. 

  “This is everything you need to know and the last time I am putting my career on the line.”

  “Sit down Jeremy,” Tavonte said. 

  Jeremy was shaking his head, “I’m out of here that’s all you need.”

  “Sit!” Lavoy yelled, and the shop went silent.  Jeremy looked around nervously.  Rolling his eyes he quickly took a seat.  “Tell us what’s not in this file.”

  Jeremy looked at the two men as if torn.  Looking away he sighed, “That file tells of an ongoing investigation.  Not just into Tommy but into four rogue government agents who are accused of sharing government information-or treason as it states-and most importantly evidence tampering and destruction.”  Lavoy and Tavonte looked at one another.  “Did you really think we could make things just up and disappear without being caught?” Jeremy asked bitterly.  “I have a family-”

  “Thanks to T-money,’ Lavoy said cutting him off.  

  “So, should I have to give it up for him?” 

  Tavonte sighed, “How much do they know?”

  “Names for one,” Jeremy said.  

  “But, wait, how long have they known?” 

  “The investigation started ten years ago.  Back when T-money had that run in with those Columbians that ended up dead.  Well, one of the crew members was Columbian Intelligence, he was undercover and ended up in a bag remember?”

  They did remember.  There was lot of work they did on that one to try and keep T-money’s name out of it.  Once the agent was killed the Columbians contacted the FBI because the CIA would not hear anything unless it was a threat to national security.  Lavoy was later made aware of the investigation as DEA.  He did what he could to alter documents and shift the blame from T-money.  Later on the CIA got involved because the amount of money involved as well as the involvement of the Columbians made them feel drugs could not be the only thing going on.  And that’s where Jeremy came in. 

  All three of them worked together around the clock destroying evidence.  It was even more of a hassle when the IRS got involved, but somehow they did it.  They thought they’d gotten away with it.  

  “How long have you known?” Lavoy asked.  Jeremy looked away and then back.  “How long?” Lavoy asked again.

  “Ten years,” he sighed.  

  Lavoy’s mouth dropped, “Jeremy are you serious?  You knew since the investigation started?”  

  Jeremy rolled his eyes as he took in a deep breath and let it out.

  “You didn’t tell us?” Tavonte asked surprised.  “That ain’t right, you could of given us a heads up, we would have if you were under-”

  “T-money asked me not to!” Jeremy half yelled.  Lavoy and Tavonte were silent.  “When I found out about the investigation I told T-money.  He asked me to shift the focus away from you two, and I did…I lied, and I told the agent in charge of the investigation that it was me, and you two did not know T-money.  I lied and said I’d only been in contact with him because an informant told me some very interesting things that I wanted to check out.

  “The evidence I covered up by lying and saying I still had information, and I gave T-money information but nothing important, it was all to gain his trust.  I said I’d heard you might be getting inside information, and I was trying to see exactly who was giving that information up.  

  “I did all I could to divert the attention and an investigation started.  An agent was sent in…” Jeremy trailed off into silence.  

  Tavonte was the first to speak.  “Did T-money know?” he asked.

  Nodding Jeremy said, “Down to the agent’s blood type.  I got him everything.”

  Tavonte and Lavoy nodded.  Tavonte trying to understand said, “T-money is dead, the agent-”

  “Went rogue.  He was deep undercover, and we have been trying to bring him in ever since.”  Lavoy’s head was spinning as everything began to click into place.  “And you know we can’t just arrest him and charge him especially without bringing anyone else down.  He’s not a drug lord, it’s real sticky, we made him,” Jeremy explained.  

  “Damage control,” Tavonte said out lout to himself and Jeremy nodded in agreement.  

  “The agents real life is nothing more than numbers on a computer printout.  Virtually he does not exist.  His fingerprints and all are under his assumed identity.  He does not exist as an agent.”  Lavoy sighed out loud.  “Now do you see why I’m so jumpy.  I’ve done a lot to keep all of our careers and us out of jail,” Jeremy said looking around.  “I’ve kept it buried, and I don’t want this dug up, now I have to go.”  He stood.

  “Wait!  Who’s the agent?”  Tavonte asked.

  Jeremy was turning to leave as he said, “Read the file.” 

  “Jeremy you never answered my question,” Lavoy said in a calm voice that betrayed his anger.  “What’s not in that file?”

  They all knew perfectly well how the CIA operated.  Jeremy turned back around and stared at the two.  He was thinking and thinking hard.  He was torn between leaving and answering the question.  Finally after a minute of silence Jeremy said, “We’re working on bringing him in.”

  “How?” Tavonte asked.

  Jeremy turned around and walked away after he said, “Another agent was sent in.”

Chapter 3

I was waiting for the novelty to wear off.  Everything was so perfect, as a matter of fact too perfect.  I knew from the marriages on T.V. that the peace wouldn’t last, and I had a strong feeling in my stomach that it wouldn’t always be roses.  

  We stayed in the Virgin Islands for our honeymoon.  It was just me and him, husband and wife.  I was dreading the sex part of our honeymoon.  Not because I’d been raped, nor because I’d had no consensual partners, not even because Spin was possibly responsible for the eradication of my family thus making him the devil and my enemy.  The only reason was it would technically be my first time.  

  Spin picked up on my nervousness because while we lay in bed and he kissed and touched all over me, I guess my body language told him it all.  He broke the kiss and stopped exploring my body like a blind man reading braille and looked me in the eyes.  

  “You okay?” 

  I nodded shyly, but he didn’t buy it.  

  He put his weight on his elbow and said, “You’re all tense.  Talk to me Shi.  I don’t want secrets, I wanna do this right.”

  I smiled at the sincerity in his voice.  “I’m okay…” I said.

  “But?” he asked.  

  I shook my head and he just stared at me waiting for an answer.  My throat was dry, and my stomach was all in knots.  His brown eyes, soft and concerned did not match up with what I knew about him.  They did not show the man I saw in T-money’s mansion.  After a sigh I said, “It’s just… I never…”  I was hoping he caught on and he did.  

  I thought he’d make a big deal out of it, you know, me being Shiesty Shi and all.  The gangsta who ain’t had her cherry busted yet.  I mean come on a conservative thug, yeah, right. 

  I was shocked when he nodded saying, “Don’t trip.  I’ll take care of you.”

  Let me tell you something.  I have always, and I mean always associated sex with pain; physical as well as emotional.   And if I’d had images and flashbacks of that night Spin okayed my beating and rape and of Mr. Lopez panting on top of me when Spin’s head went in-between my legs it was all washed away.

  He was gentle with me and gave me my first orgasm.  The first impression is not always the lasting one let me tell you that.  After he slowly lowered himself on top of me and slowly and carefully slid inside of me and gave me my second orgasm we fucked like animals.  I’d of thought his big dick would hurt me, but it didn’t.  That man showed me so much in such a short time-where sex was involved that is.  

Damn!  I didn’t think I would be able to walk after that shit.  

  Anyways after our honeymoon we returned home.  Yes, home.  

  Returning to the house on the hill that was once occupied by T-money didn’t make me feel any type of way.  There was no residual energy, no flash back to that horrid night or anything.  I didn’t even recognize the place.  The place was beautiful, and I didn’t recognize anything about the place.  The new place fit.  There were steps leading up to a large platform surrounding the house.  In front of the door sat one single slab which seemed somewhat out of place like a red rose in a black and white picture.  

  As Spin carried me over the threshold I saw white writing on the slab.  I couldn’t read it, and I made a mental note to do so and ask Spin what was up with it.  But later, because as soon as we got the door closed it was on.  

  I took a site tour once Spin fell asleep.  Yeah, a bitch wore his ass out. 

  The place was nothing like T-money's, and it was huge.  There were twelve bedrooms and fourteen bathrooms, a den, a front room, a large dining room and an even larger kitchen with a table and chairs to one side and an island in the middle.  The back yard had a pool and basketball and tennis court.  It was beautiful with a view of the surrounding mountains.  There were several shallow ponds with koi fish swimming around.  I was blown away.  Spin had a large office upstairs and one downstairs.  The house had everything and I wondered how he kept it up.  

  Later I found out he had a maid who stopped by twice a week to clean.  The house was fit for a queen, and there I was.  The only problem was it looked like a big bachelor's pad and clearly needed a woman’s touch.  

  After another round of sex I was handed a metal credit card.  My mouth dropped open as I looked down at the words American express written across it.  It was in the name of Simply Perfect In Nature Ltd.  I’d only heard about black cards in songs.  I’d never, and I mean ever seen one or yet alone held one, but there I was holding one.  I’d never really thought of it for that matter.  It was just one of those things you thought would never happen.  I mean who really fantasizes about having a black card?  Shit it was one of them things you couldn’t wrap your mind around.  I was holding all the money in the world in my little hand.  But, I’d quickly wrap my mind around it.  Damn, a bitch almost got wet and gave him another round.  I mean I was holding an unlimited amount of money in one hand.

  I called Vicky, and she picked me up a half an hour later.  The shopping and redecorating begun, and a bitch did not look at one price tag.  I tell you if I didn’t like shopping before, I shoe nuff did then.  Anything I fucking wanted.

  Within a week the house was furnished to my liking and looked like a home.  My closet was so packed you’d of thought a bitch had been living there for years.  I had to use the closet in the room next door to hold all my shit and some of my jewelry.  Turns out Spin had a little stash of shit for me which he said I wouldn’t take when we were dating.  There were clothes and shoes, jewelry and other little nick-knacks that he saw here and there.  

  I thought the nigga was gonna hit the roof when he saw all the shit, but all he did was smile and shake his head.  I guess money was no object.  I didn’t know how I felt about that because I guess subconsciously I was trying to send the nigga to the poor house.  I’d dropped fifty racks on Vicky alone the first day.  

  After the house was finished Spin took me to the BMW car dealership in Mountain View.  I saw the 2009 hard top BMW and wanted it.  He gave them the black card and once my name was on all the paperwork and it was handed to me, he took the dealer aside to speak to him in private.  Fuck them, I was all up in my car looking around it and shit wondering how we were going to get it out the show room.  I couldn’t believe I just picked out a car like a cookie in a glass case.  

  When he was done talking to the dealer he came over and told me to come on.  “How we gonna get the car out?” I asked as he opened the door and helped me out.  

  “They’re gonna do it,” he said walking me out the showroom.  

  I was so confused when we drove off in his Mercedes without my car.

  “What was that?” I asked not really knowing why I allowed myself to drive off without asking questions.

  “We gonna come pick it up later,” he said from the passenger’s seat.

  “Why?” I asked.  

  “I got this,” he said smiling at me as he grabbed a hold of my right hand and squeezed gently.  “It’ll be ready in a few weeks.  I got them doing a few modifications.”

  I nodded and went along with it.  I hella wanted my car though, but hey, I’d have to wait I guess.  

  Our next stop was in down town Oakland.  We got out and walked down a strip of stores.  I’d been there before.  We were at the Durant Center.  It was a low budget  swapmeet type of mall like thingy.  It looked and had the feel of an indoor flea market.  Durant was where-almost-every hood rat and sista went to buy their hair.  It was cheap, and they had hella knockoffs.  We passed a little bank and an Asian owned hair store and I saw a little white man standing in front of a store with a sign in it.  

  He smiled and shook Spin’s hand and then mine.  

  “Let me show you around,” he said and opened the door.  It was a large room with no carpet.  He took us to the back where the restrooms and an office were.  I mean there wasn’t much to see.  “So, what do you think?” he asked.  I ignored him because I had no idea what was going on this was between him and Spin, none of my business, so I stayed in my place holding my husband’s hand and shut the hell up.

  I felt Spin squeeze my hand, and I looked up at him and smiled.  

  “He asked you a question.”  I looked up at the little white man then at Spin.  “What do you think?”

  I shrugged my shoulders shyly.  Why the hell was he asking me how an empty room looked?  “It’s cool,” I said.  I mean, what was I supposed to say? “No, give me vaulted ceilings?”  

  “We’ll take it,” Spin said.  

  “Okay I’ll get the papers ready and give you a call later.  We can hammer out the details once I get an agreement drafted.”

  We were escorted out, shook hands and made our way back to the car.  We got in, and I was ready to ask what that awkward shit was about when Spin reached into the glove compartment and handed me a card.  The card was cream colored with ‘Simply Shi’ in cursive writing over the top.  My name was on the card as just Shi and also written in pink with an address and phone number. 

  I looked at Spin, then back to the shop and then back down at the card and screamed.  I was fucking excited as hell.  I threw myself across the car and hugged and kissed him all over his face.  

  When we got home the first thing I did was call Vicky.  

  “He bought me a shop!” I yelled when she picked up the phone.

   I guess I’m getting my vaulted ceilings.

Chapter 4

A bitch was just  waiting for the novelty to wear off.  It had to, it was too damn good to be true.  

  I had him put the salon in my name.  Yeah, momma didn’t raise no fool.  With a large down payment I got a loan for the shop, and I had a bank account with enough money to cover the loan set up where the payments for it would come out automatically.  

  With help from the black card the salon was furnished and complete within six months.  I’d had my employees ready to go, and the Grand Opening was set for the next month.  I was so fucking excited.  I knew we’d have a lot of clients with the advertising we did.  Dr. Richards was taking the week off to be there with me. 

  We finally went to pick up my BMW the week before the Grand Opening and when I saw my shit I thought I was dreaming.  The shit looked like a tricked out Barbie mobile.  It was a candy painted powder pink.  The inside was all white with pink lining.  Shi was stitched in pink in the head rest.  The back of the head rest had T.V.’s in them.  My tires were white walled, and my 20’s were white with pink lining.  My windows had a shiny ass mirror tint on them.  

  A bitch was getting use to the life style of the rich.  Spin was pulling out all the stops.  For my birthday the man took me on a romantic getaway to Jamaica, and I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him… or his money, one of them.  A nigga was treating me right.  And let me tell you money can buy love, whoever said it couldn’t was a damn lie.  Haven’t you always realized that only rich people say that?  But give a poor bitch money and see exactly how happy and in love she will be.

Chapter 5

I was  waiting for the novelty to wear off.  And it finally did.  

  We’d been married for a year.  The only thing which I did not like was his hanging around Rodd and D-loc, my rapist.  No, I had not forgotten about them.  By all means they were going to get theirs.  Oh, and that bitch Clair either for that matter.  We’d had a few run in’s where Spin had to get between us.  I was ‘bout to throw them bows on her ass.  Vicky kept joking talkin’ bout I’m a pretty girl now and we don’t fight or argue we just hit the bitch with a bottle.  LOL.  But yeah, she had to go and I was working on that.   

  I was scared to face reality.  I mean my salon had just opened, and it was all good.  Word of mouth got me more customers than I imagined.  I had a total of nine people working for me.  Vicky was my salon’s manager, we shared the salon.  I told her we both owned it, although my name was blasted everywhere.  Vicky occasionally shampooed a head or two but other than that she basically answered phones, worked the register and sat on her ass joking around with us.  Yeah, she didn’t do shit but got paid good, she had it good.  That was my bitch.  I was only interested in her presence.  

  I had Diamond working as a wash person.  A girl named Bay-Bay was our nail lady, and no the hoe was not Asian.  She was black, and her ass got down.  I’d hired a guy named James as our barber.  To be real James was only hired because he was so fucking fine.  I could have easily faded a nigga up, but you know how dudes be, plus he was fine.  There was another nigga I hired name Biscuit.  Yes, he went by Biscuit.  He was gay, but the nigga could get down when it came to hair.  I liked him, he was flamboyant as hell and hella funny.  Ra’Nee was a ghetto ass bitch with a big mouth and even bigger hips.  She was thick as all hell and rough lookin’, but shit she could do some hair.  Faye was seventeen, and I liked her, she was like the little sister I never had.  She gave off that vibe when I first met her and so I hired her, and it turned out her little ass knew hair.  I kept my eye on her because… well, I don’t know I got this other vibe from her that made me feel like she was in trouble, and I wanted to help.  Lay was a quiet skinny black girl with a hint of Mexican in her.  She had Vicky’s complexion and was pretty, but she didn’t seem to know it and that made her look even more adorable.  Modesty will do that sometimes, make a person look good, though her modesty was out shadowed by her insecurity.  Last but not least there was Toya.  Why I hired that bitch I don’t know. But I’ve regretted hiring her ass every day.  

  According to Ra’Nee she and Spin use to fuck.  Yeah, Ra’Nee said it just like that, they use to fuck.  So blunt, I know.  Because of the fact that I did not care nor wanted drama I left it there and asked no more questions.  As long as the bitch stayed in her place and did her job, I could care less though I knew the hoe didn’t like me, like at all.  

  Fay was a wash girl, but if she brought in a client I let her use my chair or someone else’s chair if they weren’t there.  

  Anyways I’m sitting in the office when Vicky pokes her head in, “Phone.”

  “Who is it?” I asked going over bills.  It was payday and time to pay for everything else.  

  “Some lady.”  I sighed and picked up the office phone.  “Two,” Vicky said coming in and sitting down.

  “Thank you for holding, this is Shi,” I said into the phone.

  “Yes, hi I’m Georgia, I’m Fatima’s mother.”

  “How are you doing ma’am?” I asked being polite.  Hell Fatima’s mother was probably a few years older than me if not my age.  You know how things go with women now days.

  “Not too well, is Faye there?  The other girl told me she wasn’t, but I don’t know maybe she couldn’t find her or…”

  “I’m sorry ma’am Faye doesn’t work today,” I told her.  “But she might be in later to get her check,” I explained.  “Would you like me to tell her to call you?”  There was silence on the line.  “Hello,” I asked wondering if she had hung up.

  “Yes, I’m sorry I’m here.  So she hasn’t been there yet?  She isn’t answering her phone, and I thought maybe it was because she was at work and she couldn’t use it there.”

  “No Faye can use her phone anytime she wants here.  I don’t really mind that,” I said looking at Vicky.  The conversation was going nowhere and getting awkward.  Finally getting tired of the breathing on the phone thing I asked, “What’s going on?”  It felt like the right thing to do, but soon I wished I hadn’t asked at all.

“Faye’s dating this man, calls himself Sick Wit It of all things and he has her out in them streets doing lord knows what at all hours.  I know that man ain’t no good.  I…” she started crying.  

  Sick Wit It?  I just couldn’t see his big nasty ass with Faye, but to each her own.  

  “Ma’am I’ll have a talk with Faye when I see her,” I said trying not to sigh loudly through the phone.

  Those eleven words seem to make all the difference in her otherwise worried day.  She thanked me, and we got off the phone.  I already knew what I was going to do, and if Faye didn’t listen to reason I’d have to pay ole Sicky boy another visit.  

  As soon as I got off the phone I stood and went to the door.  “Faye’s mother’s worried about her,” I told Vicky before leaving.  As I walked out the office Spin walked in the door.  I smiled, and we met in the middle of the salon where we embraced and kissed.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  He shrugged, “Lunch?”

  I smiled.  About eight months ago, two months after we got married I somehow managed to become his business partner or advisor if you will.  I was showing him how to get more from his money and hot spots and where people would most likely get busted.  I showed him my weed cutting trick, and I had him lower the drug prices back down.  With my help he was twenty percent richer.  I had him cut corners, I had him become more lenient and stop doing business with certain people.  To be real, I was basically running his drug empire.  He did as I said, well advised.  Behind every strong man, you know the rest.  

  We were leaving to lunch when Toya said, “Hi Spin.  Actin’ like you don’t know nobody.”

  He turned and looked at her as she braided a little boy’s hair, “Sup Toy.”  That was all he said then turned away, and we were leaving again.  I so loved that he was giving that hoe dust.

  Before I turned to leave I saw her shrug.  Then I heard her say, “Carmy wants to know when you gonna come see yo’ son.”

Chapter 6

Yes, the bitch said, "Son."

  Oh the novelty had abruptly worn off.  

  After our first argument in which I was about to ring the alarm I found out about three kids.  Yes bitches three, three motha fucking kids.  He claimed he’d just found out about them.  Okay, yes, I was born in the day, but not that damn day.  I was fucking heated, but he was right when he said that was his past.  It took all the woman in me, but I decided to let it go, and he promised to introduce me to my step children.  Ha, like that was really something I wanted to do.  

  The problem with being introduced to his children was being introduced to the momma’s.  His oldest was a girl named Tiffany whose momma’s name was Boo.  I didn’t like any of them, and I know the little bitch Tiffany didn’t like me either nor did her momma with her old ugly ass.  Boo fit her.  

  Next was D.W., or De’Wight.   Ta’jay and was his youngest, born just a mere month after we were married.  Y’all do the math.  

  Last and I really hoped he was the last was Sunny.  Now when I tell y’all who that nigga’s momma is y’all gonna fuckin’ die.  Let me get a drumroll please.  I mean out of all the bitches on God’s green earth he manages to sleep with and have a baby with this hoe.  Here’s two hints: another name for an automobile, and the opposite of women.  Put your answers together.  I’ll wait…

  Now, for y’all slow bitches another name for an automobile is car, and the opposite of women is men.  Okay now put the answers together and you come up with Carmen.  Yes, Carmen, the bitch I dog walked in the bathroom at M.A.  I was not, I repeat not ready for that confrontation.  The bitch could bust me out and ruin everything.  The bitch could get me killed, so I settled on a picture, and a promised to meet them later.  

  I woke up the next morning and went straight to the shop.  It was seven o’clock; I know hella early.  I had a nine o’clock and nothing else to do ‘til then, so I went to my office.  The phone started ringing as I sat down.

  “Simply Shi,” I said wondering who was calling so early.  We didn’t open until eight.  “Shi,” I said.

  “Shi, hi this is Georgia.  I was wondering if you’ve heard from Faye.”  

  Damn!  I’d forgot all about Faye.  “No ma’am, I had an emergency, and I left early the other day.”

  There was a lengthy silence before she said, “I’m sorry to bother you.  Can you call me when you hear from her?”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  The line went dead.  I had to do something especially if I wanted her depressing ass to stop calling me.  There was a book on my desk that I’d brought from Boarders a few days ago when I decided to start reading more.  It was what they called an ‘Urban Book’ by Kiki Swinson.  It was called Wifey and let me tell you I thought I was reading about my life when I picked that shit up.  Kira is a beast, and I was flying through the book.  This book was helping me with my role as Wifey.  Y’all need to read that shit.  

  Vicky showed up while I was in the middle of doing Sista Jones' hair.  No one else was expected until ten.  After a few hellos Vicky went to the office.  By the time I was done Diamond had come in and Renee was working on someone’s head talking away. 

  The door opened when I was on my way to the office, and in comes Bay-Bay followed by someone I had not seen or heard from in over a year.  He stopped answering my calls and talking.  I walked into my office knowing he’d follow.  I quickly sat down behind my desk.  He came in and closed the door as I scooted my chair up.  

  “How are you Shi?” he asked.

  Vicky turned away from a file cabinet and smiled at the sight of the man.

  “Fine and you King?”  

  I hadn’t heard or seen him since my wedding which he attend alone.

  “Koo’, did you learn anything yet?”

  I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t looking.  How could I tell him I’d been playing house, sleepin’ with the enemy, cookin’ his meals and enjoying the married life?  

  “I’m slowly gaining control of his drug game,” I said.  It wasn’t necessarily a lie.  

  He nodded, “You wanna go out and get a bite to eat?”

  I knew he wanted to drill me for info but not around Vicky.  

  “My lunch is at twelve,” I told him and he turned and left without another word.  He hadn’t even acknowledged Vicky.  She closed the file cabinet and shook her head after she made sure I was looking at her.  I just stared at her ass not going to play into it.   Lucky for me the phone rang.  I snatched it up.  “Shi?”  It was Spin.

  “Yes baby,” I said.

  “Shi, I need you to go home and pack a bag for me.”

  “What?  Why?”

  “We got to go to Columbia.”

  “What?  We?  Why?” I asked.

  “Shi, just do it I’ll explain later.”

  I rolled my eyes, “What am I supposed to be doing with the bag after?”

  “Take it to the American Airlines drop off spot, Clair will be there waiting.”  

  “Clair?  What?  Why is she going?”

  “Shi I told you I’ll tell you later.  Please this is important,” he snapped at me and the line went dead.  

  This nigga just hung up in my face.  Wow, wasn’t this shit a bitch, I was going to miss my date with King.

Chapter 7

King was pissed, but hell he’d get over it.  I was a busy lady and Spin needed me.  

  Spin was gone for three days.  When he returned I picked him up with Vicky.  She hated him but had no choice but to come with me.  She’d been staying with me while Spin was gone.  I couldn’t stand being in that big ass place alone.  She’d asked me to drop her off at K.C.’s, but I said I’d do it after we got Spin.

  I pulled up to the airlines, and there my man was.  I got out and hugged and kissed him.  I missed him.  We loaded his bags into the trunk.  

  He went to the passenger door and waited.  I was in the car already.  Vicky did not acknowledge him just looked straight.  He tapped on the window, and I rolled it down.  

  “Excuse me,” he said to Vicky.

  She looked him up and down and said, “You’re excused.”

  “Could you get in the back seat?”

  “Yes I could,” she said then rolled the window up.  Spin opened her door.  “The back door is back there,” Vicky said grabbing the door and pulling it closed with enough force to shake my windows.  She then locked the door and continued to stare straight ahead.

  They so didn’t like each other and argued constantly.  I got out the car and explained I was going to drop her off and asked if he could get in the back for a little while.  After a little ear nibbling he said, “Okay.”  

  I dropped Vicky off with K.C. and we went home.  As soon as I got in the door my cell rang.  

  “Hello,” I didn’t recognize the number.  

  “Shi, can—” a girls voice cried.

  “Faye?”

  “Yeah, can you come get me?” 

  I sighed, “Where are you?”

  “Stockton.”

  I sighed again and got the address and was there in an hour.  I pushed like one ten the whole way.  It was late, and I was tired.  I hadn’t seen Faye in almost a week and was happy she was okay.  I would have an hour to ask questions.  I’d known her for a few months. Being the youngest of us all at the shop Faye was looked at as the baby.  Her big grey eyes were so cute and sweet.  She seemed so impressionable too.  Part of me wanted to roast her little ass when I saw her.  She’d been M.I.A. for three days.  The only reason her mom didn’t call the police was because we both doubted the Oakland P.D. would do anything.  

  I found Hammer Lane and exited the freeway.  There was a Taco Bell next to a gas station.  She was sitting on the curb, I pulled up, and she climbed into the car.  She looked dirty and beat up in the darkness of my car.  I turned on my car light, and she cringed as she turned away from the light.  Through squinted lids she looked over at me, and her pupils were huge.  She turned away once our eyes met.

  “Faye, are you high?” I asked knowing the answer but needing her to confirm it.  I didn’t have a lot of experience with drug users, but I knew a high bitch when I seen one.  She didn’t answer me, and she didn’t need to because her silence was confirmation.  I turned off the light and flipped a bitch.  She was snoring by the time I got back on the freeway. 

  It was past ten and I debated calling her mother.  I was back in the bay at a quarter to twelve.  I knew if I was a mother I wouldn’t care what time it was, so I grabbed my cell and called.

  “Shi?” she said answering the phone.  She seemed wide awake.  

  “Yes ma’am.  I got Faye here with me.”

  “Oh dear lord.  Is she okay?  Where is she?”

  “Right here in my car asleep.  I’m going to take her home with me and bring her first thing in the morning.  Is that alright?”

  She was silent for a while but eventually said, “Sure, I guess that will be okay.  Just tell her I love her when she wakes up.”

  “I will Sista Patterson.  You get some sleep now,” I told her knowing she wouldn’t get any sleep until her daughter was safely at home.  She thanked me and was about to pray on the phone with me like she’d done twice before when I lied and told her a cop was behind me.  

  I got off the phone and drove home with Faye snoring her ass off.  I woke her up and got her inside.  It took two hours to shower her and get her into the bed in the room next door to me and Spin.  On my way back to my room I was exhausted.  I could only think of my bed.  I slowly got undressed and slipped under the sheets when I realized something was wrong.  

  I was the only person in bed.

Chapter 8

I didn’t sleep a wink.  Spin had not called and told me he was leaving.  I told him where I was going, and he said okay and was taking off clothes like he was ‘bout to get in the bed.  He usually called me like, all the time.  So I lay there until morning waiting for his ass.  

  He came stumbling in at eight in the morning.  I sat up right away as he came in.  He sat on his side of the bed and bent over to take off his shoes.  

  “Hey babe,” he said leaning over to kiss me after his shoes were off.  He smelled like smoke, alcohol, weed and some cheap ass Chanel.  The shit smelled awful mixed together, and I couldn’t tell where he’d been apart from a dump.  

  “Where you been?” I asked trying to sound curious.  

  “You know, working.  I’m trying to implement some of the stuff we talked about and expand to the West.”  

  Okay, yeah I suggested some shit such as the D-boys carrying less on them in case they got rolled on.  I’m tellin’ y’all, Prop. 36, read up on it.  I also gave him the idea of drop offs for the D-boys.  That was a place they stashed and hid money so if they were arrested possession would not have the intent to sell attached to it.  I was trying to help him in the legal area more than the money part though a free D-boy is more profitable than one on lock down.  We’d even talk about expanding his territory.  He was already the undisputed king of the bay.  Why not slowly try taking over California?  I know so unrealistic, but hell shoot for the stars.  

  I know you probably thinking a means not a way.  But shit I can be woman enough to admit that I was becoming accustomed to the life style and he’d promised he’d quit when he had "enough."  I never knew when "enough" would come or what it looked like, and I wanted to try my hardest to make "enough" come sooner rather than later.  I had plans.

  “A few moe years and I’ll retire,” he said.  “It’s getting too dangerous.”

  That was a lie.  I knew for a fact ain’t na nigga eva stepped to Spin after what he did to T-money, and I heard how shady his ass was.  But I let it go.  I always smiled and let the shit go just like I did when this nigga pulled that I was working shit.  Spin was taking off his shirt when I got out the bed and headed for the door.

  “Damn, a nigga been working late, and yo’ ass gonna leave me in bed alone?” he smiled.

  “You left me in bed alone,” I said grabbing my little tiny robe that barely covered my ass.  

  “I’m just sayin’ can I get some?”

  I smiled.  “Some eggs?  Sure I’ll be up with breakfast.  Go shower.”  I laughed my way out the room.

  Faye was still dead to the world.  I went into the kitchen and set to work.  I had learned how to do the basics from my mom and G-dub.  But over the last year that I’ve been married my cooking skills have improved a lot.  I cooked dinner every night for the first six months and made breakfast for the first three months, faithfully.  

  What changed you ask?

  Well Spin’s busy schedule.  He was not always home while the food was hot and sometimes he was not home in the mornings before I went to work.  But he always called.  

  I made some omelets with meat, cheese, hash browns and a little salsa.  I took Spin his breakfast first.

  “In bed?” he smiled.  “Where yo’ plate?”  I rolled my eyes.  “You ain’t gonna eat with me?”

  “Got stuff to do,” I said quickly and walked out.  

  “But you don’t work on Sundays,” he called after me.

  He was right.  I didn’t work on Sundays unless a client insisted which they didn’t.  On Sundays the shop was run without me.  Spin and I usually spent the day together though there were many times when his hectic schedule prevented it.  So I didn’t feel bad.

  I took my and Faye’s plate to the guest room where Faye was sleeping next to our room.  I sat the plates on a dresser and began opening curtains.  The snoring stopped as the light came in.  I heard Faye moan.  I snatched the covers back and sat on the bed.  

  “Awe come on,” she moaned.

  “Little girl what the fuck is yo’ problem?”

  Her eyes shot open, and she looked up at me.  “Shi?  What?  Where am I?”

  I took a deep breath and said, “In a hospital if you don’t answer my questions.”  Oh I was ready fo’ the bitch.  “What… the… fuck… is… yo’… problem?”

  “I—”

  I didn’t let her answer.  Why do we people do that?  Ask a damn question, when someone don’t answer because they think it’s rhetorical, we yell at they ass and then when they fixed to answer you interrupt them?  I shoe nuff didn’t know but still it worked.

  “-Yo momma is worried sick about you.  You runnin’ around the state with some old nasty ass man who old enough to be yo’ daddy like you grown.  And you doing drugs?”  I gave her the eye.

  “Shi I love him.  He understands me.”

  I did not let on that I knew the nasty ass nigga; instead I got up and got our plates off the dresser.  I handed her hers and asked, “What are you on?”  I knew it came out like I was accusing her of being an addict, but hey she just might be, I didn’t know for sure.  

  “Nothing, I just smoke a little weed and meth here and there.  I’m not addicted, it’s just fun Shi, you were a kid once and-“  

  “-and I didn’t smoke crack.”

  “Meth Shi I don’t smoke crack.”

  “Whatever, you don’t need to be doing no drugs, yo’ ass need to finish school.”

  “I am,” she said trying to defend herself.  “Shi I’m almost eighteen and-”

  “-when you are, then you have all the right to leave home with some old ass nigga.  But until then little girl you will stay home and go to school.  You will listen to yo’ momma do I make myself clear?”  That was one of them rhetorical questions, so I softened my voice and said, “You only get one.”  She looked down at her food.  I knew she was thinking, and whatever she was thinking about was painful because she was facing a truth that she didn’t want to face.  “Look, I’m telling you this, not as yo’ boss but as the crazy bitch that will kick yo’ ass if yo’ momma call me again.”  She rolled her eyes and smiled.  I was happy to see it though I knew what I was going to say next would probably wipe it off her face.  “And, when I’m done with you I’ma put one between that niggas eyes.”  Yeah, gangsta Shi had her stuck, she was frozen.

  I knew that I was pretty, and no one from my new life would have thought that I carried or knew how to use a gun, so her reaction was expected.

  “She been callin’ a lot huh?”

  “She got me on speed dial,” I laughed.  “She loves you.”  She nodded staring down at her plate.  “Check this, you’ll be eighteen in like four months.  I can do it or you can do it.  Call this nigga and tell him you’ll be M.I.A. for the next four months.  

  “I don’t care about no excuses or how you do it or if you do it to be real, but let a bitch catch you with him or find out you was with him…” I just shook my head to let her know it would be all bad, and she nodded.  I took that as she understood.  “You need to be at school and work on time.  From now on I’ll be checkin’ in on you.”  She nodded again.  

  I was being nice y’all and doing a damn good job because I felt like fuckin’ the little tramp up.

  “Now finish yo’ breakfast, I’ll drive you to work.”

  Like I said, ‘Nice.’

Chapter 9

The only calls I received from Sista Patterson were thank yous for the next few months.  

  Spin was becoming more cloak and dagger like as time went on and a bitch was determined to find out why.  

  I woke up in bed alone yet again just like I’d went to sleep when my phone rang.  “Hello,” I answered groggily.

  “Shi I need a favor.”  

  It was Spin.  I was use to him not being in bed, so hey, I could now sleep somewhat.  

  “What?” I asked sighing.

  “I’m supposed to pick Tiff up and take her school shopping.”

  “Okay.”

  “Could you…”

  “Could I what?” I asked with a little attitude.  I was praying he was not trying to ask me what I thought he was trying to ask me.  

  “I need you to take her fo’ me.”

  “What?  Why?  What’s wrong with you?”

  “Shi, just do it I’ll explain later.”  I’ll explain later had become his catch phrase.  He never did. 

  “You can’t ask someone else?  What about Clair?”

  “No, I can’t-”

  “-why?”

  “Because you’re her step mom and I’m asking you,” he said and that shit had me stuck.  No the fuck he didn’t just pull that shit on me no matter how true it was.  “I got fifteen racks in my bottom drawer-“

  “-what kind of clothes she need?” I asked wondering if he was really asking me to take all that money and buy her clothes.

  “Get yo ’self-something too.”

  “Can’t I just drop the money off to her momma and she take her shoppin’?”  I mean I thought it was a good question.

  “No, I don’t want you giving Boo’s scandalous ass shit.  She can’t be trusted with no money, she’ll probably spend it on herself.”

  I sighed, this was so not coo’.  I did not want to nor did I feel comfortable goin’ to pick the little bitch up and take her shoppin’.  I didn’t wanna be around her and her funky ass momma and attitude.  “Spin-”

  “Thanks babe, I’ll see ya’ tonight.  We gonna go out.”  The line went dead.  I screamed and damn near threw my phone.  The screaming felt good, but the shit wasn’t gonna get me out of what I was about to do.  

  I got up and took a shower and got dressed.  I really didn’t feel like getting all dressed up and doing my hair and makeup, but I did.  I had to be on point.  I was going to see his ex, and I was not gonna give Boo no ammunition though her black ass was no competition at all.  Not only was all her shit knock off but one of my fits would pay her rent, buy her a car and get her some decent clothes in her closet and a better weave in her head.

  I drove Spin’s Corvette instead of my Beemer.  Boo and Tiffany lived in East Oakland and let me tell you this shit was the straight hood.  She was on every type of government assistance that they had including section 8, her rent was like fifteen dollars.  I blew the horn outside the house and after a few minutes Boo came out with her fast ass daughter followin’ close behind.  She reached out and opened the car door, “Spin I need—. What the hell you doin’ here?”  She was as surprised to see me as I was at actually being there to take her little ugly ass daughter shopping.  

  I rolled my eyes and replied, “Pickin’ up my husband’s daughter.”

  “Where’s Spin?”

  “Why don’t you call and see.  He asked me to take her to the mall, now if you don’t want me to that’s fine.  I’ll just go back home.”

  “How much money he give you to take her?  You can just give it to me, and I’ll do it my damn-self since his no good ass can’t come spend no time with his daughter.”

  “He gave me enough.  Now, if you wanna take her feel free,” I said with a smile.  Oh I was gettin’ on the bitches nerves.  What Spin saw in the hoe I had no idea, but from her to me was more than an improvement.  I was gold, and she was that cheap shit that turned yo’ neck green.  

  “Give me the money then.”

  “Ah no, negative.”

  She stared at me I guess caught off guard and decided to show my ass.  I yawned as if I was bored covering my mouth with my left hand.  The sun was positioned perfectly to catch the rock on my finger so that it shined like a bright star.  

  “Get in Tiff.  If she say or do anything outta pocket let me know,” she said as Tiffany climbed in.  She closed the door and bent over waiting so Tiffany could roll down the window and she could finish talking to her.

  “Put on yo’ seat belt,” I said with a wink, shifted gears and burned rubber as I peeled off in Boo’s face.

  I took Tiffany to New Park Mall and sat back and watched as she picked out clothes. She didn’t say anything to me or ask me anything. I didn’t offer my advice or care whether she talked to me or not.  Shit, I didn’t even look at what she was getting and pickin’ out.  When she was done in one store she’d walk to the register and I’d stand behind her like I wasn’t with her and wait for the total, after that I paid while she took her bags and left to the next store.  When she was hungry she went to the line at the food court and stood there, ordered her food and I walked over and paid.  We said absolutely nothing to each other.  

  After exploring the entire mall and five thousand dollars later she walked out the door and led me to the car.  Playing step mom was easy.  

  “You need school supplies?” I asked her without looking as I backed out the parking space.  She moaned a response that I guess was a yes which made me sigh.  I was ready to take her ass home.  

  I took her over to Wal-Mart and sat at the McDonalds while she went her way.  I ordered an iced coffee and sipped on it while I waited for her to go get whatever she was getting.  It took damn near an hour-in which I was gonna go looking for her hoping I wouldn’t find her because she got kidnapped or something- when I saw her walk to a register with a full ass shopping cart.  I walked to the register just as the woman was ringing up the last of the stuff. She had  some clothes along with school supplies.  It wouldn’t have surprised me if her ass got stuff for her momma too because I knew Boo was that kinda ratchet bitch.  I mean who could blame her?  Spin was paying for it.

  She spent fifteen hundred at Wal-Mart which I paid for in cash and left.  She was waiting at the car with the shopping cart.  I pressed the button to pop the trunk after I unlocked the door and got in.  When she was done putting her shit up she got in and put on her seatbelt as I backed out and headed for her house.  It was over, and I was happy.

  “Open the trunk,” she snapped at me with an attitude when we pulled up to her house.

  “Excuse me?” I asked knowing I done heard this little ungrateful heffa wrong.

  “Open the trunk so I can get my stuff.”

  “It’s can you open the trunk,” I said.  

  “Is you gonna do it?” she said rolling her eyes.  

  “Go get yo’ momma,” I said looking into her little ugly ass face.  Shit, she couldn’t be Spin’s, maybe they got a test I don’t know, but she didn’t look nothing like him.  I’d see.

  “Fo’ what? She don’t wanna talk to you.”

  “So I can beat her ass before I whop yours,” I said staring her ass down.  

  And right on time Boo came out.  I could hear her loud ass from the door.

  “Oh uh huh,” she was at the car door.  “What is you doin’?”  

  I popped the trunk.

  “Returning your daughter,” I said.

  “Y’all only been gone two in a half hours.  Spin was supposed to have her ass all day…”

  You know I felt de-ja-vu.  Kira in Wifey went through this same scene with her husband’s B.M.  The only difference was I wasn’t Kira, I’d keep it sweet and simple.  

  “Well call him,” I said with a smirk and a lifted eyebrow.  I heard the trunk slam down and knew Tiffany was done getting her shit.  “Would you ever so kindly close my door?”  Maybe I got E.S.P. or something because she was about to say something and I knew the first word would be, ‘bitch,’, so I decided to warn her ass.  “Think first,” I said before anything could come out of her mouth.  Her nostrils flared and to my surprise she slammed the door shut hella hard.  Shit, I didn’t care it wasn’t my car.  I shifted once again and left them in a cloud of smoke.

  Oh my God I loved being hated.

Chapter 10

Spin called before I made it to the shop.  

  “Shi what’s goin’ on?”

  “Nothin’ bout to go to the shop,” I said acting like I didn’t know that bitch Boo called his ass.

  “Boo said you threatened Tiff.”

  “What?” I said shocked.  Was this bitch lying on me?  “I didn’t threaten that little girl.  Shit we ain’t said more than ten words to each other the entire time.”

  “So you didn’t threaten her?”

  “Spin what I look like threatenin’ a little ass girl, I’m a grown ass woman?  All I did was what you told me to do which was take her ass shoppin’, and I didn’t give Boo the money though she was trying to get it,” I told him actually getting angry that the bitch would lie on me.

  “So you didn’t tell Tiff that you was gonna beat her ass?” Spin asked sounding annoyed.

  Oh, that, little, snitch.

  I laughed and then said, “No I didn’t.  I told her I was gonna whop her ass, and so there wasn’t no problems I’d beat her mother’s ass first.”

  The line was silent as I waited for Spin to speak knowing we were about to argue over the shit, and I was probably gonna say some ole fucked up shit like, ‘You need to get a D.N.A. test.’  I was surprised when I heard Spin start laughing.  

  “Damn Shi, I keep forgettin’ I married a gangsta.”

  “I ain’t got no trouble remindin’ you,” I said smiling as I pulled into my parking spot.  Then changing the subject as I turned off the car I said, “So where are we goin’ tonight?  I mean should I dress casual or like classy?  Do I need to go shoppin’?”  The line was silent.  I looked at my phone to see if he hung up, he didn’t.  “Hello?” 

  “Yeah, ah, Shi we gonna have to get a rain check baby.  I’m gonna have to take a trip to Atlanta to see about some business…”  Now it was my turn to be silent.  “Shi?”

  Being the adult that I am, not wanting to let him know I was heated but not really wanting to hide it I said, “Don’t think I’m packin’ yo’ shit,” and hung up.

I got out the car and tried my hardest to put Spin out of my mind as I walked to the salon.  My phone rang, and I knew it was his ass, so I ignored the call, silenced my phone and breathed in and out deeply before opening the door and walking into the salon.  And dammit if my day wasn’t long enough, I walked right into a fucking war zone.  Renee and Toya was goin’ at it.  I saw K.C. holding Toya and Vicky trying the best she could to hold Renee.  

I knew it was going to be a long week…

Chapter 11

Tamekia, Helen, Janell, Silva, Mickal, Lavoy and Tavonte sat in Janell’s living room.  They’d been coming together more frequently as Tavonte tried his hardest to start an official investigation.  However. No matter how much evidence they’ve collected they got nowhere.  It was political, and the C.I.A. was attempting to cover their ass.  They did not want the publicity of a rogue agent.  

  “How much more do they need?” Janell asked.

  “A lot more than we will ever have or can get,” Tavonte said shaking his head.  “Janell the problem is the rogue agent and the fact that the C.I.A. still has a case file open on this, they just sent in another agent.  The only way I can see anything happening is if the C.I.A. closes the case.”

  “And how would that happen, by catching the rogue agent?” Janell asked.

  “He seems to be the most important factor,” Lavoy said.

  “This is just a big cock fight.  Why don’t y’all grow some and just take credit for y’all mistakes.  No one knew the agent would turn,” Tamekia said.

  “True,” was the only response given.

  “Can’t you just take over the investigation?” Janell asked looking at both Tavonte and Lavoy.

  “It’s usually alright if it’s locals, but agency taking over agency’s investigations is not something we do.  Hell the F.B.I. and the C.I.A. already hate each other,” Tavonte said.  

  “What if he’s no longer a factor?” Tamekia asked.  She and Helen were the only members of B.I.T.C.H. not undercover.

  Brittany was D-loc’s main girl, though one of many I’esha was with Rod and Charika had weaseled her way in as a transporter.  Tamekia and Helen’s only job was to keep an eye on Shi and Spin.  

  “Factor?” Lavoy said sounding like he didn’t understand what she was asking.

  Helen sighed and was going to speak when Tavonte said, “If Shi were to come forward then there would be no way we could justify not poking our noses in.  Hell, it’d guarantee not only her safety but an investigation.”

  “And how do you propose we get Shi to help us?” Janell asked.

  “Tell her the truth,” Lavoy suggested.

  Janell was shaking her head.  She’d debated telling Shi, but T-money had reasons for not telling her.  Besides, Janell didn’t want to complicate her life any more than it was, and at the moment it was very complicated.  

  “Well, it’s the only way,” Lavoy said.  

  “Let’s keep it as an option, okay?  A last resort, Plan B,” Tavonte said.  

  “Then what’s Plan A?” Silva asked knowing their initial plan had failed.  

  Helen stood with a smile which was a rare thing.  Her white teeth shone brightly, and her dimples gave her an innocent look.  “I have an idea,” she said and walked out the front door.

Chapter 12

K.C., Spin, Rod and D-loc were all at a house Spin bought as a gambling spot.  Most of the underworld came to drink, smoke and most of all gamble at the house.  The house usually came alive once the sun went down and really began poppin’ around ten until the sun made its first appearance over the horizon.

  It was past midnight, and the house was packed with every pimp, drug dealer, thief and conman that could fit.  Every man was checked at the door for weapons, but it was a fool to think no one was packin’.  The place was an armory, and it would amaze the world at how civilized one became even after losing a small fortune.  The O.G’s were about respect and knew when to quit.  You win some, you lose some was their philosophy.  The youngsters were all scared of Spin and his crew, so they kept their tempers in check.

  Spin and K.C. were sitting at a poker table in the back of the place trying their damned hardest to win all the cash in the men around the table’s pockets.  Spin was up five hundred, and K.C. was up seven grand.  

  D-loc was in the next room trimmin’ the youngsta’s dumb enough to throw down.  

  Rod was playing black jack and losing badly in the kitchen.  

  The evening was quite quiet.  The men drank and smoked giving the place a stuffy closed in musty smell.  There was a haze of ghostly white hanging around in the place.  Music played throughout the rooms as the yells or excited voices from winners, losers and shit talkers exploded here and there.  The rest of the voices were murmurs and low talking.  There had been no sore losers so far, no arguments or threats of a fight or killing.  Everyone was pretty buddy-buddy so far, and that pleased Buddy.  Though he liked the excitement or when it got violent, and he had to step in and put hands on a nigga, a silent night was very much appreciated.  

  Buddy was six foot six, a solid three twenty, and it was all muscle and show.  Buddy was virtually harmless and secretly loved to sing gospel.  It did not fit his image, so he kept it to himself.  No one knew about the choir he sang in at his church in Antioch.  It was believed that he’d done time in prison, hence the so called prison muscles.  The only institution Buddy had ever been to was U.C. Berkeley where he got a masters in fitness thanks to T-money.  He worked in the day time as a personal trainer at the Magic Johnson’s Super Sport 24hour Fitness in Richmond.  By night Buddy ran the gambling houses back when T-money first started opening them up.  When T-money got killed, and Spin took over Buddy knew how to play his cards.  He acted as if he had no feelings what-so-ever for T-money.  

  “Money’s money mayne.  As long as I get paid I’ll do my job no matter who’s in charge,” he explained to Spin the first night he came through the door trying to flex his new found muscle.  When Spin inquired about the three other spots T-money established Buddy shrugged and said, “I didn’t know he had others.  I only look out for this place.”  That wasn’t technically a lie.  He’d actually helped set up and train the men keeping an eye on the places in San Francisco, Richmond and San Jose.  

  Buddy carried a .357 in a shoulder holster in case his size was not enough though that had never been the case before.  He was seated in a chair by the front door when the doorbell rang.  He thought it was strange, because the doorbell never rang.  Everyone knocked everywhere.  A few people glanced at the door but only for a second before continuing what they were doing.  Buddy stepped to the peephole and looked out with a frown.  A white girl stood there in a pink pair of pajama bottoms, a white t-shirt, a terry cloth pink robe and what looked like pink bunny slippers.  

  Buddy instantly thought it was one of the next door neighbors coming over about the noise.  He thought it was strange not because she was there to complain about the noise, but she was a white woman in Oakland.  She looked not only white but off the T.V. white, the type of woman with money, the type of white person who moves to South African to prove they are no different than black people.  The other thing was white people were good at sensing danger, but she seemed to be oblivious to it.  Buddy thought she was probably one of those white women who were fearless and spoke her mind ignoring the danger.  The last thing that struck him as strange was this was the first time in the many years since he began running the place that anyone’s came to complain about anything.

  It’s a first time for everything he thought wondering if she’d just moved into the neighborhood.  He watched as she reached out to ring the doorbell again.

  Buddy unlocked the locks and opened the door a crack.  He stuck his head out and smiled down at her.  She was cute and looked young.

  “Sup?”

  She reached back to put her honey blonde hair into a pony tail as she said, “I’m here to see K.C.”

  Buddy saw what he thought was a shoulder holster under her robe.  

  But it couldn’t be

  Buddy ignored it and looked her up and down starting to tell her K.C. did not live there nor was he there.  That was the standard reply in case a baby’s momma showed up.  The only way anyone was getting past Buddy was if they were spending money, and in that case they’d need the password.  Mind not wanting to believe his eyes were mistaking Buddy realized he did see a holster and that the woman had cop written all over her.  And if he was right she would not be getting past him without a warrant, he knew that much.  

  “Look, before you lie to me I just want you to know I am only here for K.C.  I do not want to hurt anyone, now, would you be so kind.”

  Buddy lifted his eyebrow and had to smile so he wouldn’t laugh.  Was she serious?  Hurt someone?  Buddy shook his head and said, “I’ll tell him you-”

  “-Helen,” she said.

  “Helen’s here for him,” he said pulling his head in and beginning to close the door.  The door did not close all the way and before Buddy could realize what was going on she knocked.  

  “It’s cold out here, may I come in and wait?” she asked.

  Buddy was shaking his head before she finished her question.  “Sorry I—”

  She sighed, “Alright.  I tried to be nice.”

  Buddy watched as she took off her robe and began folding it up.  She had on a double shoulder holster with a glock in each.  Buddy could tell the holsters were custom made.  Along the straps over the shoulder were little shards of metal which Buddy recognized as knives.  

  ‘the fuck? Buddy thought trying to push the door closed and grab his magnum at the same time.  The door suddenly and forcefully flew back into his nose sending him reeling back to the ground.  He quickly jumped to his feet as the woman stepped into the house closing the door behind her.  

  “Bitch!  You don’t know who you’re fuckin’ with,” Buddy’s muffled voice yelled as Helen advanced.  Smiling she put her hands up.  Rubbing his nose and trying to ignore the pain he laughed at her gesture.  He could knock a man twice his size out with one blow, so he knew she wouldn’t stand a chance, she’d be a pushover.  But he would not hit her, she was a woman.  He’d just hold her and disarm her because a bullet from a woman would do equal damage as one from a man.  Buddy was quick for his size.  He opened his arms to bear hug her.

  The first hit was in his throat which he clutched at gasping for air.  The second hit was in his testicles, and as he fell she came with the third hit, a knee she brought up into his stomach forcing the air out of his lungs.  

  The sight of the little white woman taking down the giant was shocking in the way that no one registered the danger as they stared from the kitchen and sofas in the living room area amazed.  

  Helen counted six men.  Five on and around the sofa, one playing video games on a large T.V. and one who walked out of the hall and one who walked out of the kitchen.  It wasn’t until she reached for a knife that they all reacted.  Smiling Helen threw one of the knives into the stomach of a man coming out of the kitchen and then one into the thigh of the man who walked in from the hall.  Helen ran towards the couch at full speed and speared one man into the wall.  Turning around she round housed another and grabbed a knife with her left hand as she brought out a gun with her right.  The knife went into the man’s shoulder.  One of the other men pulled out a knife and Helen smiled.  Advancing fast she grabbed his wrist and twisted it causing him to howl in pain, however, before the scream could become more than a squeal she dropped his hand and grabbed his throat hard steadily applying pressure on the sides of his neck.  Her grip was firm as he clawed at her hand squirming.  Not fazed by the scratching of her hand she re-holstered her glock and grabbed a knife.  

  She’d brought the knife to rest in the man’s stomach when two hands grabbed her from behind.  Without hesitation she threw her head back hard into someone’s nose and with a hard back kick she sent him flying into the plasma screen.  Helen kicked the man she’d been holding in his testicles, and he went down with a grunt.  “Only I can bring a knife to a gun fight,” she said to his unconscious form on the floor.

  “What the fuck!?”

  She turned and saw a young black man staring around the room.  

  “Shhh,” she said putting her finger up to her lips with wide eyes.  He was reaching into his pants and screaming.  Within seconds people began popping their heads from everywhere around the house.

  Helen smiled pulling out both her guns.  “This is going to be fun,” she said pulling the triggers with a smile.  She took extreme caution not to kill anyone; only because it posed a challenge to shoot around vital organs and avoid a head shot.  She shot arms, stomachs, legs and everything else which would cause pain but would keep you alive.  

  Helen made her way quickly to the back room where a poker game was still in progress oblivious to the noise in the rest of the house.  Adrenaline coursing through her veins she kicked the door in as she reloaded her glocks.

  “What the fuck?” someone yelled at the same time she shot the dealer in his ass.

  “Why does everyone keep asking that?” she said rolling her eyes holding her guns and pointing them around the room.  Hands were up.  She spotted K.C. next to Spencer.  She smiled.  “Hi, I’m Helen,” she said pulling the trigger and sending a bullet through his left eye.  She quickly turned to leave as a door down the hall opened.  Then as if she was thinking twice or trapped she turned to Spencer.  “Get up,” she instructed.  He slowly stood, and she shot him in the thigh.  

  He screamed as he grabbed his leg falling hard cursing. 

  Smiling she took a deep breath thinking I love this shit.

  The hall was filling as she plotted her daring escape through the front door.  

  I came in through the front, and that’s how I’ll leave she thought to herself walking into the hall.  I have to get my robe.  

  Helen knew she’d get yelled at for what she’d just done, especially for shooting Spencer.  She’d just have to remind them that it was just his leg, she could have easily made it his head.

Chapter 13

He hadn’t been home in a fucking week.  The last I heard was he was going to L.A. then Washington after his trip to Atlanta or wherever he claimed he was goin’.  Shit, I was so fed up with his ass doin’ his own thing and obviously not thinking about me that I was doin’ me; I was doin’ my own thing, and I could care less what he did or where he was.  I mean I was startin’ to feel like Harriett the fucking Spy following this nigga around, checking his phone while he slept, hacking his Facebook and plotting moves with Vicky.  

  Yeah, I was really reading the Wifey book somethin’ tough, and Kira was puttin’ a bitch up on game.  I caught myself searching the house for his stash and all.  I mean it was the nights alone that was getting me and knowing that he was out there with lord knew who doin’ lord knew what.  Then there was that bitch Clair who seem to be everywhere he went.  I mean what the fuck?  I was a firm believer in if I’m not getting’ his attention then someone else is.  And yes I said, ‘someone’ not ‘thing’, so work wasn’t cuttin’ it.  He was married to me not the game despite what he might think.  

  Anyway, like I said, the nigga was supposed to be in D.C. so imagine a bitches shock when I got a call from a nurse at Summit Hospital in Oakland asking me about insurance information for Spencer Washington.  

  So, this is what had happened.  I’d just woke up in bed with the bestest.  We split up and she went to the kitchen, and I went to the mailbox.  It was Saturday, I had a head at twelve, and Vicky was gonna go in with me.  The sun was shining brightly as I walked down and got the mail.  There was a lot of magazines and junk mail.  I flipped through and found the PG&E bill and the Satellite T.V. bill.  The last piece of mail I saw was a letter with familiar hand writing addressed to me.  It was simply addressed to Shi with the address, and in the return address space was written Paradise.  I knew what it was before I opened it.  Some guy,  I had no idea who he was had been sending me letters and post cards.  The weird thing was he knew a lot about me.  First I’d received a set of champagne glasses, dishware and a whole kitchen and dining set.  The gifts were amongst all the others at the wedding.  I disregarded it and moved on.  

  Next, six months after I was married I’d got my first letter.  It was a strange letter asking how I was doing and asking was Spin treating me right.  He warned me to be careful and watch and listen.  The letter told me to keep my enemies close and my friends closer before going on a rant about buying a boat and living on the sea.  It wasn’t until he mentioned the wedding gifts that I realized whoever sent the letters sent the gifts.  

  The letters were never signed, no name was on them other than mine.  The next two weeks I received a post card from the Bahamas with short notes about the weather.  

  At first it drove me crazy trying to figure out who was writing me and whether it was a joke or not.  I’d jumped to the conclusion that it was Free.  His body had never been found because he was alive.   But Vicky helped me back to reality reasoning that it could not be him.  She saw the disaster that was to come with my thinking.  

  I was out front standing on the granite step to the house when I decided not to open the letter and put it with the other junk mail.  I didn’t have the time.  I looked down at the slab, my eyes on the black wording.  I’d been in the house over a year and forgot all about it.  Not once had I read the inscription, so I bent over and read, ‘The first step is always the hardest, but once it’s made only then does your journey begin.  This is my first step out of the old life I lived and into the new chapter I write.  Making brick without straw.’

  I guess I got the analogy, but I’d ask Spin about that.  I walked in the house as Vicky was coming to the door.  She had my cellphone in her hand.  

  “Who is it?” I asked closing the door.  

  “You’ll never guess,” she said placing the phone in my hand.  

Chapter 14

And she was right.  

  First I was scared out of my damn mind.  My husband had been shot.  I went into panic mode.  Is he okay?  Where is he?  What happened?  

  My heart was pounding.  

  “It’s okay Mrs. Washington, it was a minor flesh wound.  He was hit in his upper thigh, and the doctor retrieved the bullet… no stitches,” she assured me.   As I absorbed the information I slowly became angry.  “He asked us to call you about his insurance information.”  

  I sighed.  Not many or probably any drug dealers had insurance or dealt with hospitals.  But oh no. I wasn’t goin’ for that.  I had plans, so I took out an insurance policy for a million dollars on my dear ole hubby, and because it was sort of a requirement with such a large insurance policy a bitch had to get him health insurance.  We had full coverage at Kaiser.  I picked Kaiser because they were always making mistakes and then settling out of court.  You go in for a heart attack and get treated for asthma.  I told the woman on the phone he had Kaiser, and I’d be down with his insurance card.  

  Vicky was staring at me as I hung up the phone.  I walked back to the room to grab my purse wondering if I should get dressed or not.  

  “Spin was shot,” I said when she followed me into the room.

  “So?” she said from behind me.  “I guess he’s still alive since you don’t look sad.”

  “Vick that was Summit Hospital in Oakland.”

  “I know, I talked to the lady,” she said.  

  I grabbed my purse and let the conversation hang in the air.  I pulled some jeans over my pajama bottoms and grabbed a hoody.  I was walking out the room when Vicky said, “Hold up.  Why is he at Summit?”

  “Because, he was shot Vicky,” I said knowing it was hitting her.  “No, no, no, why is he in the Bay?  Where’d he get shot?”

  “Exactly Vicky, he was supposed to be in D.C.”  I was walking out the door.  

  “Oh I gotta hear this one, I’m coming,” she said closing the front door behind her.  

  We were in the car and at Summit in twenty minutes.  It took another ten to give his insurance information and be led to his room.  I was ready to roast the nigga when I walked into the room.  He was asleep and looked so…sad, pitiful.  As gangsta as I am I couldn’t help but feeling bad.  I mean come on I have a heart, so what?  

  I walked over and kissed his forehead, and he opened his eyes.  

  “Hi baby,” he said groggily.  

  “Spin, what happened?”  I put as much sorrow behind my words as I could.

  “They killed K.C.”

  My mouth dropped.  I thought of Vicky immediately.  Fuck, she was really feelin’ K.C., and hell, although he stood by and watched me get beat and raped, I mean besides that, he was a pretty cool dude.  I felt a drop inside of me, and I asked, “Who?”

  “Some crazy white bitch.”

  I was shocked and sort of lost.  K.C. didn’t strike me as the cheating type.  From what I knew he was the only one in Spin’s close circle who was capable of being faithful.  I mean, technically Spin was faithful to me, but that was only because I hadn’t actually caught his ass red handed.  I so did not know what I would do if I did though I knew it wouldn’t be pretty.  

  “Okay baby, start from the beginning,” I said sitting down on the side of his bed.

  I was told some half assed lies on why his black ass wasn’t in D.C. but ignored it.  We’d talk about it later, I wasn’t looking for that bit of information at the moment.  What I was interested in was what he had to say after that.  Some white girl with blond hair wearing pink pajamas rolled up on them shooting.  She shot K.C. in the head then she shot Spin and left.  Rod was in another room with a flesh wound, D-loc was stabbed four times, twice in both his shoulders.  

  “Did you… you don’t know her name?”  I don’t know, I mean they might have known the woman.  Shit, she was probably some silly hoe that they done ran through.  Y’all know all that woman scorned thing and shit white bitches are the worst.  B.I.T.C.H. was dancing in the corner of my mind.  There were only two of them it could have been if they were somehow involved which I doubted.  Brittany and Helen.  But, Spin knew Brittany as Ari, and if it was her he just would have said so.  Helen?  Naw, I wouldn’t be talking to Spin if it was her, unless K.C. was a target.

  “Helen,” Spin said, and my mouth dropped open.  I quickly tried to mask the expression on my face that I knew I wouldn’t have been able to explain.  “Get me outta here babe,” Spin said making me happy that we were on a new subject.

  “Let me go—”

  “I only found—” Clair said walking into the room with two bags of chips and two Pepsi’s.  She stopped dead when she saw me, and I saw the change in her facial expression as I felt the change in mine.  

  What the fuck was that bitch doin’ here and why in hell hadn’t she been shot?  She follow Spin around like a damn love sick puppy.  I swear they was sleepin’ together, but I had no proof.  I mean nothin’ in his phone or on his Facebook, nothin’.  

  Spin cleared his throat, and she took her evil lifeless eyes off me and looked at Spin.  “This is all they had,” she started towards the bed, and I hopped up.  She walked around the bed to the other side.  

  “It’s good, I like Cheetos and Pepsi,” Spin said reaching out for the bag.

  No he didn’t.  

  “And where were you?” I asked staring at Clair.

  “What?” she said with an attitude eyes damn near sparkin’.

  “I said, ‘and, where, were, you?’ I repeated loudly with lots of attitude and neck rollin’.  “When everything got shot up?” I said to make sure I was very clear.  

  “Doin’ what you should be doin’,” she said sitting down in a chair.

  “And what’s that?”

  “Holdin’ yo’ husband down and mindin’ mine.”

  Wait, did this bitch just?  No, she didn’t.  Did she?  

  “Okay,” Spin said before I could respond and I was happy he did because to be real I didn’t have a comeback for that and you know what happen when us niggas get embarrassed and don’t have come backs, we start throwin’ bows.  “Clair went to D.C. for me.”  I was still staring at the hoe. I knew Spin was lying about having to go to D.C., but his lie was growing and leading me to a dead end, so I wouldn’t be able to cross check with people he claimed to be with.  And Clair, her ass was just sitting there staring daggers at me, and I knew she wasn’t ‘bout to confirm or deny what Spin was claimin’.

  I kept staring at her as she stared at me.  I was letting the bitch know that I wasn’t scared of her, and she couldn’t replace me.  I’d mop the floor with that bitch and I so wanted to.  I leaned over and kissed Spin on the cheek all the while staring at this bitch.  Yeah, I know I probably looked stupid as hell.  “I’m gonna go check on Vicky,” I said to Spin still staring at the bitch as she began to smirk.  Now I wasn’t ‘bout to back out the room staring at her ass, it wasn’t that serious, so I turned my back to her and left not wanting to leave her with my man.

  I really wanted to find D-loc’s room because something told me I’d find Brittany there.  What the fuck was B.I.T.C.H. up to?  

  Vicky was waiting at Spin’s door, and I needed to ditch her ass, so I said, “He said Rod, K.C. and D-loc were hurt too.  I’m gonna go ask about D-loc and Rod, you go see about K.C.”  I felt so fucking bad, I hated lying to her and not telling her stuff.  I felt even worse when I saw the fear in her eyes when she heard that K.C. was hurt.  I walked to the nurse’s station, and she followed.  

  I was told Daniel Loca was down the hall from Spin and left as Vicky asked about K.C.

  I walked into D-loc’s room.  

  “Shi?  Hey girl,” he said.  I looked at D-loc lifting my eyebrow.  I couldn’t stand his ass, and I wished he was the one who died.  I so wanted to kill him myself and I would.  I couldn’t wait either.

  “Hey Shi,” Brittany was sitting in the bed with him.  

  “Ari, can I speak with you?” I said ignoring him.  She nodded, kissed D-loc on the lips and followed me out closing the door behind her.  

  “What’s up?” 

  “Brittany, what the hell are y’all doing?”

  She looked around nervously, grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall.  “What do you me—”

  “For starters why are y’all so interested in Spin and his crew?  Are y’all trying to kill him because of T-money?” I shot out in a rapid whisper.  “I mean if y’all are what are you waiting for?”

  “I could be asking you the same things,” Brittany said.

  “No you can’t.  I’m living my life.”

  “With Spin?”

  “Yes, with Spin.  It’s a free country last I remembered.”

  Brittany laughed a little.  “Shi, ain’t nobody’s stupid.  You ain’t with him because you love him.”

  I rolled my eyes and decided to cut to the chase, “Why did Helen kill K.C.?”  Brittany raised an eyebrow and looked as if to ask, ‘what you talking ‘bout Shi?’  I ignored her expression because she was obviously actin’ da-da-dumb.  “I know it was Helen Brittany, she’s the only white bitch running around here shooting niggas.  Oh, yeah, and her dumb ass told them her name.”  There was silence after I dropped that bomb.  I stared at Brittany, but she was looking past me confused.  “You didn’t know,” I said it more than asked.

  Brittany shrugged.  “I know my girls.  When D-loc told me what happened…” she rolled her eyes.

  “Why did she only kill K.C.?”

  “I haven’t found out yet Shi, but when I do I’ll make sure you know.”

  “No you won’t, and what do you mean you ain’t found out yet?”

  “Shi?  Ari!  Hey!”  We both turned to see I’esha walking up in a body suit which hugged it all.  

  “How about this?” I reasoned as I’esha stopped and listened.  “We are obviously trying to do two different things and gettin’ in each other’s way.  So, I’ll let you know what I’m doin’ if y’all let me know what you’re up to.”

  Brittany looked at I’esha, then they both looked at me.  “‘ight,” I’esha said, and Brittany nodded.

  I took a deep breath and then let it go.  “All I’m trying to do is figure out what happened to my family.”  They exchanged looks, and I knew it was something they weren’t telling me.  “Spin is the only lead I have.” 

  That was all they were getting out of me, and it seem to be enough.  Brittany nodded and then looked at I’esha for a few seconds.  I knew they were wondering how much to tell me.  My heart was banging like two fifteens.  Brittany opened her mouth when I heard someone’s panicked voice nearly scream, “Shi!”

  I turned around fast and saw Vicky.  It only took one look to know she’d heard the news about K.C.

Chapter 15

Juggling Vicky, Spin and the salon was fucking exhausting, especially since Vicky and Spin hated each other.  I didn’t want either of them to be alone.  I talked Vicky into staying with me at least until the funeral.  She only agreed when I stopped listening to her and began packing her a bag back at her place.  I set her up in the room farthest from me and Spin’s, and when I wasn’t checking on my man and trying to nurse him back to health I was sitting around with Vicky.  I’d cancelled all my appointments for the next two weeks and then rescheduled most of them with Faye.  

  She was doing great.  She’d turned eighteen, graduated and was starting her first semester at Merritt College.  She had no known contact with Sick Wit It and even had her a new boyfriend named Kevin.  I assured my clients that she got down and after finishing her cosmetology program I was going to fire Toya and give her her own chair.  But that was only once Faye was ready to take over, and I so couldn’t wait.  Toya was a bitch and caused too much shit.  The hoe was straight up disrespectful, and a bitch had to take off her earrings twice on the hoe.

  Anyway, I went into the salon early in the a.m. while Vicky and Spin were sleep.  I quickly took care of some official business, left notes and instructions and was home before they woke up.  

  I had no idea how getting to the funeral would work.  I was not making two trips because they were arguing over who would sit where in the car.  

  The day of K.C.’s funeral I helped Spin get into a black Armani suit.  He was a fucking handful, and without the help of two maids Terri and C.C.-who I arranged to come three times a week each instead of twice-I was able to deal with Spin in his slow recovery.  I was relieved when Vicky said she was taking her car to the funeral.  I followed behind her car in Spin’s beige Maserati.  Atkin’s Funeral Home was packed.  I saw Brittany with D-loc.  I’esha was there alone because Rod was with his baby’s momma.  Charika was there, and so was Tamekia.  B.I.T.C.H. was scattered as if they didn’t know one another.  

  I still hadn’t got anything out of them but I planned to.  Vicky seemed to be the only person really crying over K.C., and I wondered where his family was; better yet who made the funeral arrangements.  I had too much shit on my mind at the time and decided to let it go for the time being. I’d asked Spin about it later.  

  After paying our respects to the closed casket we were headed out.  K.C. was going to be cremated.  

  My phone rang just as I got in the car.

  “Hey Sista Patterson,” I said starting the car.  

  “Hey baby.”

  “How are you?” I asked knowing something was wrong by the tone in her voice.  She hadn’t called me as often since Faye got back on track.

  “Not so well.”

  “Awe, what’s wrong?” I asked getting on the way-way.  

  She sighed, and I knew it was a lot and it was definitely about Faye.  “Fatima.”

  I frowned, “What about her?”

  “I haven’t told you because I thought I could handle it.  I mean, for the most part she’s been wonderful, and I, perfect is not a place we can be…”  I listened patiently wondering what Faye done did this time.  “Have you seen her?”  She hadn’t finished what she was rambling about.  

  “Not today, why?”

  “Well, I’m worried about her.  I barely see her at all, and I don’t think she comes home to be honest.”  That was impossible, she was always at work on time, and I thought she was doing so well.  “I think she’s doing drugs again, and that boy’s got her doing other stuff.”

  “Like what?” I asked knowing Sista Patterson was very observant and usually right about her assumptions.

  “I don’t know Shi.  She ain’t been going to school no moe and-”

  “What!?”

  “When I asked her about school she said she was, but I got the papers.  Since she turned eighteen she’s been wilin out.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked with a sigh.

  “She’s eighteen now and she told me she’d leave, and I’d never see or hear from her again if I called you.”

  That bitch, that little manipulating bitch.  Oh, I so couldn’t wait to see her ass.

  “Do you know where she is?” I asked wanting to get my hands on her.

  “Probably with that boy,” Sista Patterson said.

  I bit my tongue, then through clenched teeth said, “Where does he live?”

Chapter 16

Evidently the little boy had no parents and drugs were definitely involved.  He lived in a two story house in East Oakland with a friend who had not seen Faye or Kevin for about a week.  I knew he was lying with his ole high ass but couldn’t prove it, so I left a message and told him I’d be back.  I got back to the house and to my surprise my husband was not where I left him.  

  He was gone.  Yes, fucked up leg and all, straight gone.  Vicky was in her room and of course saw nothing.  When I called, his phone went straight to voicemail.  

  I didn’t know that the next day would start a chain of events which would shape my future and cause it to spiral out of control.  

  The day was like so many others, my husband was not in bed when I woke up, and I was a mad black woman.  I got dressed and headed to the salon after checking on Vicky who was getting dressed.  

  I walked in the door at a quarter to eleven and the drama began.  Toya was in though she wasn’t due until one.  But, there she was with a head in her chair.  Ra’Nee was talking to her head loudly as she sewed a weave in and Bay-Bay was giving Diamond a manicure.  No Faye.  

  “Hey ladies.  Anyone seen Faye?”

  “Naw, she ain’t been in since her last head two days ago,” Bay-Bay said.  

  “Yeah, the little bitch was supposed to bring me my movies,” Ra’Nee said.  “She done had ‘em fo’ a munf.”

  I looked at Ra’Nee, “A what?”  I started to smile trying my hardest to hold back laughter.  Ra’Nee was hilarious and ghetto as all hell.

  “A munf, you know a munf?”

  “No I-”

  “She mean a month,” Diamond said with a little giggle that sounded like a hoarse laugh.

  “Oh,” I said not able to hold my laughter in any longer.  I burst out laughing.

  “Bitch don’t act brand new, you knew what I was talkin’ about.  You got yo’ days, weeks and munfs,” Ra’Nee said loudly.  “Gonna head and get yo’ ass kilt fuckin’ with me.”

  “Kilt Ra’Nee?” I asked coming down from my laughing high knowing I was about to start again.  It felt so good to laugh, and shit like this happened every time I came in the shop.  Ra’Nee kept it live, and I loved the shit. Either I needed to come in more or hang out with her more because she always lifted my spirits.

  Ra’Nee sighed, and the shop erupted with laughter as she said, “Yeah, you know the past tense of kill.”

  Got dammit this hoe was talkin’ ‘bout past tense now I thought as I said laughing, “Killed: Ra’Nee”

  “No, it’s kilt.”  

  “In what dictionary?” I asked, and Bay-Bay answered, “The one she writing because I don’t even think that’s in the urban dictionary.”  

  “Y’all can all go to hell, I bet that’s in the dictionary,” she yelled going back to work on her head.

  I was shaking my head laughing as I headed to my office when Toya spoke.  “Afternoon Shi.”  I stared at her for a few seconds taken aback because this bitch never speaks to me.  Usually she had something smart to say.  

  “Good afternoon Latoya,” I said trying to make my smile genuine-though I knew it wasn’t-as she spun the chair with her head in it around.  My brain must of known before I could really register who was sitting in her chair because my heart stopped and all of a sudden I felt cold.  

  “It’s been awhile,” the woman in the chair said.  All eyes were on us.  I swallowed hard and smiled, at least I thought I smiled.  “What’s it been six, seven years?”  I tried to swallow again and gave a little shrug.  “You look good.”

  “You too,” I managed to say as the bottom dropped out of my stomach.  It felt like I had to shit I was so… I don’t know if it was scared or nervous.  I mean I wasn’t scared of the bitch, was I?

  “You’ve got a nice place here, my girl Toya told me good things.”

  Yeah right.  

  I nodded, I wanted to get out of there.  I dreaded seeing the bitch though I knew for a while the day would eventually come, but I had not planned on it being so soon.  

  “Okay you’re done,” Toya said.  “Why don’t you and Shi go catch up.  I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”

  I was trying to be civilized, but with Toya there it was becoming hard to hide my shock and anxiousness with civility.

  Just as the woman-who still looked as good as she did in high school stood-Vicky walked into the shop.  

  “Hey ladies-” she stopped short and abruptly, surprise and shock contorted her face as she saw me and the woman.  I could have peed myself I was so relieved to see her.  With her there I could breathe a lot easier.  

  “Look who we have here, Ms. Victoria,” the woman smiled.  “Guess we’re having a little reunion.  Hey Vicky.”

  Vicky walked over, stood next to me across from the woman and Toya-who had a smirk on her face-crossed her arms and said, “Carmen.”

Chapter 17

After a few more uncomfortable minutes I excused myself and retreated to my office followed by Vicky.  I had to think.  Carmen could ruin everything.

  “What the fuck?” Vicky yelled once the door was closed.

  “I know,” was my only response.

  Vicky knew Carmen was one of Spin’s B.M.s.

  “What is she doing here?”

  “Latoya.”

  “No that bitch needs to go.”

  We both knew Latoya brought Carmen to the salon purposely in order to start some shit.  Sure she didn’t know it wasn’t the typical baby’s momma drama I was trippin’ off of but still the bitch was trying to be messy.  I’d made that connect already.  She was the reason I knew Spin had children.  Spin simply dismissed her as a hater.  He’d told me she was the bitch he was fuckin’ when we met, so I understood and believed the hater shit.  He said it wasn’t nothin’ serious, but obviously Latoya thought it was because the bitch just did not like me.  I know you’re thinking then why did I hire her?  Well, at the time I had no idea about her connection to Spin, I saw her portfolio and the bitch knew how to do hair, so I hired her.  The real question was why did she come to work for me?  Yeah, I’m sure she knew who I was.

  Vicky and I was in the office for ten minutes talking about how fucked up Toya was and after that ten minutes I was in full agreement with Vicky.  Toya had to go.  Now!

  I quickly typed up a letter on my letterhead asking her to leave, but before I could finish the letter I realized two things.  One was, this was my shit, and the other thing was, as much as I would have liked it to be professional, we was up in the hood.  The ‘Ghetto’ baby.  The ‘Streets.’  I walked out of the office and made a beeline to Toya’s station.  She and Carmen were in deep conversation laughing and joking loudly.  

  “Latoya,” I said, and she turned to me with a smug look on her face.

  “Yes Shi,” she said in a mock excited voice with a genuine smile.  The bitch was enjoying this shit.

  “I need you to get yo’ stuff and leave,” I said not necessarily yelling but loud enough to be heard by the whole shop.  “You’re fired.”

  She looked at Carmen then back to me the smile slowly fading from her face.

  “Don’t worry about this month’s rent,” Vicky said from behind me.  

  No one moved or said anything for a full minute.  “You heard her, get ta steppin’,” Ra’Nee yelled flat ironing her heads new weave.

  “I heard her,” Toya shot towards Ra’Nee.  “What is the reason you firing me?” She asked staring at me.  

  Damn the bitch acted like she really wanted to stay.  I mean come on I know she felt all the damn animosity and tension in the air when she was here.  But hell I’d make her day.  “You’re rude, disrespectful, unprofessional and-”

  “-a bitch,” Vicky said cutting me off.

  I was going to say something else but, shit, Vicky pretty much summed it all up.  

  “Are you sure that’s why?”  

  I nodded looking at her like duh and not really sure what she was getting at.

  “Or is it because I’m here?” Carmen said.

  I opened my mouth to speak when Toya said, “Or is it because I’m fuckin’ yo’ husband?”

  I was stuck.  Fuckin’.  That was a verb she used, an action word meaning it was still happening.  I kept my cool, I wasn’t about to fight over a nigga.  “Please pack up and leave or I’ll call the police to-”

  “No, you can let yo‘self out, or we’ll put yo’ ass out,” Ra’Nee yelled spraying sheen on her client’s head.  She was done with her head.

  “Can you believe this bitch?” Toya said to Carmen.  “She took my man so it shouldn’t matter if I’m fuckin’ him.”

  I knew she was lying, she had to be.  But then why was it getting to me.

  “The bitch been stealin’ niggas since High School, someone need to teach her ass a lesson.”

  “Bitch need to keep her hands to herself.”

  “I ain’t gonna be too many of them bitches.  And Carmen yo’ ass ain’t gonna teach me no lesson, last I remember I dog walked yo’ ass the last time you tried to teach me a lesson.” 

  Yes, I was getting pissed.  

  “Well, I ain’t Carmen bitch.  I’m from the hood, East Oakland hoe.  You try that shit on a black bitch.”

  I sucked my teeth and slowly began taking off my earrings.  I know, I know I just said, ‘I don’t fight over niggas.’  And I meant it.  I wouldn’t fight traffic over a nigga, husband or not.  But I was ‘bout to beat this heffas’ ass.  

  Ra’Nee was in front of me standing in between us as I finished wrapping up my hair.  “Not in here,” she said.

  So I walked my ass outside and stood staring into my shop, waiting.  The bitches didn’t want none, I knew they didn’t.  But she came outside and before she said anything which I knew she was gonna do I took off.  

  I had the bitch on the wall fuckin’ her ass up, then I felt a hand grab my bun and pull.  I was pulled back, I could feel my feet fly from under me before I hit the ground.  Carmen climbed on top of me, but before she could swing a foot caught her ass in the chest and she collapsed on top of me and rolled over to my right.  I jumped up quick and saw Vicky stompin’ the hoe, so I joined in.  I’d forgot about Toya but not for long.  I turned just in time to see Toya coming at me fast.  Instead of moving out the way to try and avoid the impact I just started swinging wildly.  She crashed into me, and we fell to the ground in a ball.  After some rolling around on the ground I found my way on top and started going to work.  I woulda kept going, but someone grabbed me.  Diamond was holding me and pulling me into the shop.  It was a good thing the bitch was talking so I knew who she was because if she wasn’t she was gonna get it too.  The adrenaline was pumping, and my heart was pounding.  I was in fight mode though I allowed myself to be carried away as I watched the carnage in front of my shop.  I saw Bay-Bay holding on to Vicky struggling to pull her back to the shop, but she was screaming and yelling and cursing at Carmen and Toya.  Ra’Nee was yelling at Toya and Carmen and pointing, I guess telling them to leave.

  Once inside the shop Vicky and I were banished to the office.  But the small crowd gathering outside the shop was pumpin’ us up.

Chapter 18

As I sat locked in my office with Vicky I called Spin.  I was afraid Carmen was already on the phone with him or had already called him.  

  “What’s she gonna tell him?” Vicky asked.  “Nobody knows who set the fire, and the chances it was Spin are slim to none.”

  I thought about it, and she was right.  I was thinking as if I’d known for sure Spin was the one who actually killed my family when I had no proof.  I was forgetting the reason I was with Spin was to find out what he knew about it, not to accuse him.  I got Spin’s voicemail and left a message saying we needed to talk just in case.     

  When the coast was clear we were released from my office. Vicky and I were going to her place to plot about Carmen and what to do.  She was going to call King and see if he’d meet us there.  It was all to calm me down because I was still worried that somehow Spin was going to find out who I really was.  

  Vicky was parked in the front, and I was in the back.  I told her I’d meet her at her place.  I wanted to run home first to change, though I had clothes over at her place I wanted to do some thinking by myself for a little bit and I thought I’d need more time than the drive to San Jose would allocate.  My plan had spun way too far out of control.

  I walked to my BMW and pressed the alarm.  I was opening the door when I heard someone call, “Scheyenne.”  I turned and saw a tall chocolate brother in a dark suit and glasses.  He was attractive but in an older-African-American-in-Corporate-America sort of way.  You know ain’t nothin’ sexier than a black man with a job.  I didn’t see him or his approach as a threat though I didn’t know who he was and couldn’t fathom what he’d want with me.  I looked at him with one hand on the door, keys held up high in the other with my purse in the crook of my arm.  “Hello, I’m Agent Hodges,” he said pulling out a little wallet and flippin’ it open.  “F.B.I.”

Chapter 19

After talking his way into my car Agent Hodges told me to relax and just drive home.  At first I thought I was in trouble for scrapin’ them hoes in front of my shop.  But I was wrong.  

  The first thing he said when I started driving was, “You are not in trouble.”

  “Then why are you here?” I asked leaving Durant.

  “Your husband.  Spencer.”

  I smiled as I left the parking lot.  “I’m not a snitch and if I were I especially wouldn’t snitch on my husband.”

  He was silent for a few moments then said, “Well a wife is not compelled to testify against her husband.”

  I nodded.  I’d forgotten about that but I’d read it somewhere before.  “Then we have nothing further to discuss.”

  “Oh, I think we do Scheyenne.”

  “You can call me Shi,” I said smiling hazarding a glance at him as I picked up speed to get on the way-way.  I don’t know why I didn’t like my whole name.  I guess it was all too formal, I mean wouldn’t you rather just say Shi instead of Scheyenne?

  “Or Shiesty Shi?” he said.  My heart picked up speed and I turned to look at him.  He was smiling.

  “You’ve been following me?”

  He shook his head, “A small time drug dealer and pimp, or, shall I say Madame?”  We have bigger fish to fry…Besides, you’re smart Shi.  You’ve gotten away with murder and now managed to make prostitution more difficult to prosecute.”

  You forgot bank robbery I thought.  

  “But just because we aren’t looking at you, that wouldn’t stop the locals from coming after you.  Or the F.B.I. once we take down your husband.”  Though my heart was pounding he wasn’t scaring me at all.  Okay, on some real shit he was scaring the shit outta me and I was ready to take me and his ass off the road at the moment.  But, I couldn’t let him know he was getting to me.  “And the state hospital won’t be an option when we show how well you’ve been doing without medication and or supervision.”

  “Well, the Feds treat you well,” I said with a shrug trying to make my voice strong.  My words hung in the air as we sat in silence.  A silence that I couldn’t stand.  “Look, if you’re here to threaten me it’s not working.  If y’all want me, here I am.”  I knew how to play hard ball too.  Besides I wanted to know what the man wanted and was getting at.  “What do you want with my husband?” I asked knowing he didn’t know the reason I was married to Spin.

  “His life.” 

  “Then kill him,” I said half joking.  “Why are you bothering me?”

  “Spencer is a very evil and dangerous man that we can link to multiple murders, drug trafficking, tax evasion, money laundering, the list goes on and on.  You name it and he’s done it.”

  “So, you came to warn me so… when, you, take, everything, I’ll be prepared?”

  He shook his head, “No we need you and we’re willing to make a deal.”  I was silent as I exited the way-way.  So, they needed me but threatening me was not the way to get me, though if they had anything on me I might be forced to take a deal.  “Shi, you have a very comfortable life here and I know you’re accustom to it especially considering your childhood.”

  “So you’ll let me keep it all if I-”

  “No, but I personally will show you a way to protect it from us.  You see when we come we take it all, no matter who’s it is, and maybe we’ll sort it all out later maybe we won’t.”

  “Agent Hodges I’m almost home, get to the point.”  I was getting tired of the bullshit run around.  

  “We need a star witness and who better than-”

  “Wifey,” I finished for him understanding now why he was sitting in my car.  I decided to test and see how much he knew.  “What makes you so sure I know anything?  For all you know I could be under the assumption that my husband is an entrepreneur with multiple investments in real-estate.”

  He smiled at that, “We think you know more.”

  “And why would you think that?”

  “You worked for T-money once upon a time,” he said with a wink.  

  Damn, he, they were good.  “How?”

  “T-money made it known he was searching for Spencer and we believe he found him and… well, Spencer killed him and burned down the house, thus, destroying the evidence.  We know you were there that night and you know what happened.”  I swallowed as I drove keeping my eyes forward.  This was some bullshit, how did they know all this.  I mean I saw the movies about the F.B.I. and the C.I.A. and all but damn, I didn’t know they were really that good.  “It was really stupid and cocky of him to buy the property and build his empire in the same spot…”

  “If you are trying to get my husband on the murder of T-money count me out.  If…” I was careful to use ‘ifs’ and hypothetical statements.  “If he did kill T-money then he deserved it.  T-money was a sick and evil man.”

  “He helped a lot of people,” Agent Hodges said defending T-money.

  “And ruined a lot of lives and killed a lot of people, my father included.”  I was getting upset.  Agent Hodges sighed.   “Hell, he might have even been responsible for killing my family,” I added ignoring his sigh.

  We were almost at the house when he said, “You can drop me at the corner.”  I quickly pulled the car over way before the corner.  He opened the door, put a foot out and then dug into his pocket and brought out a blank business card with a number on it.  He sat it on my dashboard, “If you change your mind, call me and I swear you won’t regret it.  I’m sure we can help one another, I know I want the information you have and I’m-” he stopped abruptly and looked off into the distance thinking.  After a beat in which he decided to finish what he was saying he said, “I’m positive you want what I know.”

  I rolled my eyes as he got out.  Before closing the door he bent over and looked into the car at me he said, “Shi, T-money was not a saint, but he was a good man.  He helped a lot of people, I’m one of them.  Yes, he sold drugs, but someone had to and if I had to choose I’d choose T-money because he did care in some twisted way.”  I put on my blinker, so he knew I was ready to go and not interested in talking about T-money.  “One last thing I feel you deserve to know is that T-money did not kill your father or your family.  In-fact he may have been the only family you had left.”  He closed the door and I slowly drove off playing his words over and over again in my head.

Chapter 20

At home Agent Hodges’ words were still in my head and his card in my purse.  I grabbed the mail and went through it.  I got another post card from some island, I didn’t even bother reading it.

  Terri was in the kitchen cleaning the already cleaned floor.  “Where’s Spin?” she asked when she saw me walk in.

  “I was gonna ask you the same question,” I joked.  “Oh yeah, y’all can cut it back to twice a week again.  I don’t think he needs anymore help.”

  “Okay,” she said and I left the kitchen to go change.  

  It wasn’t until I got in my room and sat on the bed that I felt tired and my bones ache, I guess from the fight.  I was ready for a hot shower; Vicky would have to wait, hell, we would have to wait for King to get there, so I had time to shower and be there before him. 

  I kicked off my Jordan’s when my phone rang.

  “Hello.”

  “Shi, it’s me Georgia.”

  “Hey,” I said falling back on the bed.  Whatever it was,  it was something I so did not need.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Faye.”

  “She wasn’t at work and-”

  “I know I just spoke with Sister Miller her godmother.  She said she saw her standing out on the street with some girls.”

  “Okay,” I said wondering why Sister Miller her godmother didn’t go get her ass and take her home.

  “Girls, Shi,” she said emphasizing on the ‘Girls’ part.  “Unclean Girls.”

  And all at once it snapped in my head quickly.  “When?” I asked not able to believe what Sista Patterson was implying. 

  “‘Bout fifteen minutes.  She said she couldn’t get her to go with her.”

  “I’ll go get her,” I said.

  “I’ll pray, thank you Shi.”

  “No problem,” I said putting on my shoes and rushing out the house knowing it was not gonna be as simple as just going to pick her up.    

  I spent the entire night out on the tracks.  I went From Oakland to Frisco to San Jo and everything in-between.  Diamond knew where they all were and offered to come with me, but I did it alone.  I called Vicky and let her know I wouldn’t be able to make it because I was out looking for Faye again.  She told me it was all good because King had said he was busy and hadn’t called her back yet.  

  So, I drove around looking and waiting, walking some of the tracks and talking to girls asking about Faye.  Leaving E-4-0 it wasn’t looking hopeful, I had no luck until I went to Richmond.  I’d just cruised up when I saw her or what I thought was her jump into a car.  It was the closest I got, so I drove over and pulled in front of the car blocking it’s get away.  I got out and walked to the passenger side door.  I had a glock in the back of my pants which was pressed so tightly against my skin I knew I’d be bruised.  I had on an Old Navy hoody.  I grabbed the handle and snatched the passenger side door open.

  “Hey,” the white man in the driver’s seat yelled.  

  “Fatima get yo’ ass out this car,” I said loudly.

  “What?” she said sounding groggy and totally out of it.  “I’m, he’s gonna give me some money.”  She was sounding slow, like she was drunk, but I knew she wasn’t.  She was high as hell.  Instantly pissed the fuck off I grabbed her arm.

  “Hey, what are you doing?  Who the hell are you?” the white man yelled.  

  “A bitch wanted for murder if you don’t shut the fuck up,” I yelled at the man pulling her out the car.  He was silent now, shit he’d been bold enough.  I mean usually white people remembered that prostitution was illegal and whenever any type of attention was brought to them they got scared and split. 

Leave it to me to have the damn self-righteous white man who probably wasn’t married nor had a Fortune 500 job. He had a nice car though.

  “Where are you taking me?” she asked as I drug her out of the car by her arm.  I grabbed her other arm once she was out of the car and held her up by both of them.  Her head bobbed like she didn’t have any bones in her neck to support it.  She couldn’t stand up straight and her eyes were half closed.

  She looked a mess with a dark synthetic wig that was lopsided and didn’t look nowhere near real, her makeup was too bright and sloppily applied. I mean come on, you graduated cosmotalogy school, you could at least have yo’ hair and face on point.  She looked like she’d aged damn near twenty five years in the last five days.  

  “Fatima, do you know who I am?” 

  Before she could answer I heard someone yelling.  “Bitch what the fuck do you think you doin’?  Is yo’ ass crazy?”  I turned around to see a skinny, tall, light skinned nigga with dreads that had blonde tips.  He was dressed in a jean suit with a matching hat and Tim's.  

  “Who the fuck are you?” I asked mugging him,

  “Kevy-kev and that’s my hoe yo’ ass got yo’ claws on.”

  “Kev…” Faye cheered lazily with a smile.

  “Hoe?”

  “Yeah, and if yo’ ass ain’t payin’ moe than white boy you need to do it movin’.”

  “Your Kevin?” I asked getting pissed the fuck off about the situation.  “And you pimpin’ out yo’ girlfriend?”

  “Bitch we in love and she taking one fo’ the team now-”

  “Kevin if yo’ ass don’t get back I promise you’ll be visiting the emergency room in the near future.”  

  I let go of one of Faye’s arms and made a move towards my car when this nigga jumps in front of me.  “Bitch who the fuck do you think you are?”

  I didn’t know if he was gonna make a move or try to hit me or what, but I quickly reached behind my back and brought my gun from behind me and across his face in one fluid motion.  The nigga screamed like a little bitch as he grabbed his face and then turned to me with wide eyes.  I had my glock pointed at his head.  The white man in the Mercedes burned rubber as he backed up and then drove off.

  “Shi, no,” Faye exclaimed lazily falling to the ground in her heels.  I let go of her arm because I wasn’t ‘bout to go down with her ass.  

  Holding the gun steady I got in Kevin’s face. I pushed the muzzle hard into his temple. “I’m Shiesty Shi, BITCH!”  The bitch part I kinda spat on purpose and dared the nigga to wipe it off.  “Stay away from her,” I said searching him for a weapon.  He wasn’t carrying any, some pimp.  His ass wasn’t no pimp, just a pretty boy using his looks to get what he wanted.  

  I picked Faye up hurting my back and drug her to the car.  I stuffed her in and buckled her up.  She was asleep by the time we began driving.  I called Sista Patterson and again told her I would be taking her home and promised her safe return in the morning.  

  It took two hours to get her in the house, showered and into bed.  Sweating and smelling like lord knows what I finally took my shower and went to bed at two thirty.  

  What?  Oh, no silly you, why would my husband be in bed.  Yeah, the nigga was M.I.A. and I was not ‘bout to call, I wasn’t no bugaboo.  Even with my I-don’t-give-a-fuck-attitude sleep came too late.  I was finally drifting off around three thirty when the bedroom door opened and this noisy ass nigga came stumbling into the room.  He damn near fell on the bed, he took off his pants, shirt, and then climbed to the head of the bed.  I didn’t move.

  “Shi,” he said.  The nigga was fucking drunk.

  “Hmmm,” I moaned,

  “You sleep?”

  “Not no moe,” I said with my eyes closed.  

  He hugged me from behind and I felt his hard dick press up against my ass.  It’d been a week since we last had sex, that was the day he came home from the hospital.  

  “You gonna take care of daddy?”  I didn’t say anything, I mean I didn’t need to, did I?  Come on now, that was a stupid question and I ain’t even gonna get into how wrong the whole thing with him stumbling in drunk was.  “A nigga can’t get no brain?”  Oh yeah, y’all see?  He was trippin, he wanted me to suck his dick.  That nigga stank and a bitch knew how pussy smelled though I didn’t want to believe it.  Before I could roast his ass and give him one of my ever so witty comebacks I heard snoring. Oh, I was so fucking heated.  I wanted to let that nigga have it.  I lay there in his drunk ass arms and heard a buzzing.  I ignored it, it was a phone.  Not mine… I realized it was his and my Spy mode kicked in.  When Kira heard Ricky’s phone it was some sideline hoe.  It was damn near four in the morning and wasn’t nothing open at that time but some legs.  Yeah, I was nosey, so what?

  Not being silent or careful because he was passed out and I knew he wouldn’t wake up, I got out of bed and found his phone in his pants pocket.  It wasn’t ringing anymore.  I found the missed calls and saw that it was some five-one-oh number.  I called it.

  “Hey Daddy, you said you’d be coming back after you took care of business.”

  My heart dropped.  I knew, yes, I knew deep down inside of me that Spin was cheating, but I left it alone.  I didn’t have proof, it was one of them don’t ask, don’t tell type of things.  One of those don’t let me catch you and it’s good, I could convince myself otherwise.  I could just put it in the back of my mind and act like all the suspicious shit was just him being a drug dealer.  I mean I wasn’t the type of bitch to be all up over a man accusing him of cheating and shit.  Hell, even when Toya said she was fucking him I had no proof and wasn’t gonna stress myself off that B.S.  Yeah, I was snooping, so fucking what?  I always snooped and didn’t find shit, even when I checked his phone and stuff.  I found no real proof and now that I did I didn’t know what to say.  I mean, wow!

  “Spin?” she said just when I was starting to think it was a wrong number.  I mean come on y’all, his name isn’t Daddy that could be anyone.

  “Who’s this?” I asked calmly.

  There was silence and I knew she was still on the line because I could hear her music in the background.  “Jameesa and you.”

  She had me stuck.  She was just as calm as I was acting; polite, too.  I mean damn had she done this before?  

  “Wifey,” I said stating my title knowing it wouldn’t shock her or end the subject.  Shit, I’m sure she knew the nigga was married.  

  “Oh, Shi.”

  I froze, seriously?  Not only did she know he was married the bitch knew my name.  “You know me?”

  “Of you,” she said.  

  I was so trying not to go off.  The nasty hoe knew who the fuck I was.  

  “Well I don’t know you, so why don’t you tell me who you are?”

  The bitch sounded happy as she said, “I’m the pimped-out purple B.M.W.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.  You the diamond ring, I’m the matching earrings.”

  “You nasty hoe,” I said.  The shit slipped out my mouth.

  “Hoes need love, too, Shi,” she laughed.

  “Look, you gonna leave my husband alone-”

  “I ain’t bothering yo’ husband.  He comes to me, I don’t go to him and as far as turning him away… I don’t think so.  Hoes got bills, too.”

  My eye was twitching I was so fucking pissed.  “How long?” I asked through clenched teeth.

  “Check with yah man, he the one committed to you; he the one cheatin’ not me.  So don’t hate me, hate the game boo-boo,” she said and then yawned as if she was bored.  “Would you tell him I called?”  The bitch was fucking bold and she had me fucking fuming.  The fucked up part was that she was telling the truth.  But still…

  “No!  And if I hear yo-”

  “Well if you ain’t heard by now and we be ridin’ ‘round town together then you ain’t gonna hear.  If you don’t want to relay the message I’ll call back at a different time, now have a goodnight, Shi.”  And the bitch hung up.

  This was just like fucking Kira.  I threw Spin’s phone somewhere near the bathroom door and took my ass down the hall to another room.  I couldn’t believe that shit.  The entire night I just lay there thinking… 

  You know, cheating is a state of mind.  If you believe someone cheated and go through the emotions, then you later find out they didn’t, to your heart they still cheated. Only because you know how it would feel if they did and because you believed they did.  It’s one of them weird subjects but believe me the shit between y’all ain’t gonna be the same no matter what because you always gonna remember that shit and the image of him with someone else is not just gonna infuriate you but be seared in your mind.  I told myself I wasn’t gonna cry over that nigga; instead I was gonna wait until morning and then ring the alarm.

Chapter 21

Ring the alarm, I been through this too long, but I’ll be damned if I see another bitch on yo’ arm.  Beyoncé was going through my head all night.  I only realized I’d slept when I woke up.  It was seven o'clock, and the first thing I did was get Faye up.  I decided I needed to get out the house before I got up  ringing the alarm.  You know, I needed to think a little, let that nigga sleep a little longer.  

  I took Faye to McDonalds for breakfast.  I had not said a word to her the entire time for multiple reasons on the way to McDonalds nor when we were eating.  

  “Are you mad at me?” she asked breaking the silence.

  I shrugged and sipped my orange juice.  “More like disappointed, not really mad.”

  “You don’t understand Shi, I love him.”  

  I remembered our last conversation when she said pretty much the same thing.  This time I nodded and said, “You’re right, I don’t.”  She was shocked that I didn’t argue or lecture her this time.  I didn’t, I mean I couldn’t.  I really didn’t understand and I didn’t want to nor did she try and make me.  The rest of the meal was in silence which I know was totally uncomfortable to her but not me.  I was just marinating, thinking.

  We were in the car and driving to her house.  “I can’t go to work?” she asked.

  I sighed remembering the last time when I took her straight to work.  “You’re fired,” I said pulling into her driveway.  I didn’t have any choice, I was not about to support her little habit or Kevin.  She was silent as we both sat in the driveway.  I let her just sit there, I didn’t kick her ass out the car which I wanted to do.  I had a heart and I still cared about her.  The windows were rolled down.  She got out and closed the door.

  “I’m sorry Shi,” she said looking at me through the passenger window.  

  I put the car in reverse and said, “I know,” and I was gone.

  I didn’t feel like goin’ in to the shop.  Though I had a head at three I always went in at eight.  Being cold hearted to Faye took a lot out of me and I still had to deal with Spin.  I called in and Vicky was there already, I guess she showed up early so we could have some time to talk.

  “I gotta do somethin’, I’ll probably be in later, I only got a perm and clippin’ at three,” I said wishing I didn’t that way I could play hooky and not feel guilty.  “I’ll call if I’m not gonna come and we could reschedule her.”

  Vicky said okay and asked what was wrong.  Yeah, that was my girl she knew when there was something wrong.  I told her everything.  She hated Spin and knew all my suspicions but seemed thoroughly shocked.  “What are you about to do Shi?” she asked knowing I wasn’t ‘bout to just sit back and let the shit go.  

  “Vick, I’m gonna be cool and ask him about it.”

  “And?”

  I was pulling through the gates.  “Depends.  If he tells the truth I don’t know because I’m fully expectin’ him to lie.”

  “And when he lies?”  

  I smiled because she knew as well as I did the nigga was gonna lie.  “I’m gonna hit ‘em up style.”

  Vicky laughed, “crazy girl, yo’ ass is straight crazy.”

  “I’m at the house Vick, I’ll see you later.  I’ma call you back when I get done talkin’ to him, I still gotta tell you what happened to me the other day and Faye’s ass,” I said parking.  I had not told her about the F.B.I. agent and all.  

  “‘ight, but make sure you remember you don’t love him Shi.  You only there to use him.”

  I nodded knowing what she was getting at.  She thought I was taking my role as wifey too seriously.  She’d told me several times and each time I brushed it off my shoulders.  I kept saying I knew what I was doing.  I said, “bye,” and repeated, ‘I don’t love him, I don’t love him…’ in my head.  

  And I didn’t… right?

  I saw C.C’s car by the fountain and made my way to the door.  The granit slab caught my attention as I stepped up to the double doors.  I gotta ask him about that I thought opening the door.  

  I walked in and closed the door with purse in hand.  I made my way up the stairs to the bedroom wondering if he was still sleep.  By the time I got upstairs I settled on the simple question.  Spin who is Jameesa?  Then I’d wait for… I don’t know and then tell him about the call.  I’d listen to the fucking lies and then what?  Do I ask for a divorce?

  Naw, I didn’t know what I’d do but asking for a divorce was not it.  I guess I’d just let it play itself out… I mean I didn’t love him.  I’d just say fuck it and hit ‘em up style.  Do like Blu Cantrell, sell all his shit.  Or I could do like Kira and start taking his money and stacking it and prepare for the day I became ex-wifey.  

  I grabbed my room door and took a deep breath.  

  Spin who is she? I thought.  She called you, I talked to her.  

  I was ready after a few deep breaths.  I took in a deep breath again and opened the door. I stepped into the room.

  The sound, smell and sight froze me and dropped my heart.  My breath would not come out.  

  Spin was lying in bed while C.C. was riding him.  They did not see me.  Her loud moans must have muted the sound of the opening door.  Spin rolled her over and was lifting her legs up and diggin’ the bitch out.  Then I guess he was ready for a new position.  They went into doggy and she was obviously enjoying herself.  

  I didn’t love him.

  But if I didn’t love him then why was I standing there watching him cheat on me, holding my breath and praying it was a nightmare?  Why was I afraid that if I breathed then I’d be discovered and the disturbing vision would not be a figment of my imagination?  

  I was waiting for the vision to vanish so I could breathe again.  

  I don’t know how long I stood there watching, waiting to exhale.

Part 2: It’s Over Now

Chapter 22

“I don’t know,” Vicky said sitting in the office.  

  King was sitting across from her.  “When’s the last time you talked to her?” he asked.

  Vicky was getting upset.  King was treating Shi’s disappearance like it was her fault.  She was just as worried about Shi as he though she was praying Shi was hurt or in trouble because Vicky would be pissed if she wasn’t and just went M.I.A.  Something told Vicky that was the case.

  “Two weeks ago,” Vicky said leaning back in the chair.  Shi was getting on her nerves.  She was so inconsiderate.  

  “Do you think Spin—”

  Vicky was shaking her head.  She’d told King about the phone call she received from Shi about not coming in because she had something to do and how she said she had something to tell her and she’d call her back.  She didn’t think Spin did anything to her.  She and Spin had spoken several times over the last two weeks.  With Shi’s disappearance they put aside their feelings and were professional.  “He’s been calling and interrogating me like I’m hiding her.  If he got anything to do with her disappearance then he’s one helluva actor.”

  “You call the police?”

  “Spin wanted to but…” Vicky shrugged.  “It’s Oakland, she’s a grown woman…  If she’s just doin’ her and wants some me time then I don’t want five-oh pullin’ her over.  Who knows what she’ll have on her.”  

  King nodded understanding what she meant.  

  Vicky was past tired of Shi getting all the attention, she was tired of her always being so damn selfish and keeping her in the dark.  She was her best friend and still she was kept in the dark.  Vicky told Shi everything…

  Well almost everything she thought staring into space as she and King sat quietly in Shi’s office.  No matter she planned to tell Shi everything when the time was right.  

  As far as Shi knew Vicky told her everything and still Shi kept Vicky in the dark.  

  Vicky hated Spin and the way Shi treated him.  She worshipped the ground he walked on and she acted like she cared more about him than she did her.  Vicky thought about when she needed Shi and had to share her with Spin and that wasn’t right.  Vicky was her best friend, they’d been together from the cradle.  

  What annoyed Vicky the most was all she’d been through and done for Shi and how Shi was now living her life. The life meant for her, the good life.  Though Shi shared the wealth Vicky didn’t want to be carried.  She didn’t need no one’s pity, she didn’t want it and that’s what it was pity.  Shi didn’t know what it was like to struggle, to go without and work for what you needed.  Not only did Shi have money but she got it without any effort.        

  “Fuck!” King yelled out of the blue.  

  The door opened and they turned together.  Diamond, Biscuit, James, Bay-Bay and Ra’Nee were all crowded in the door.

  “Dr. Richards is on the phone,” Diamond said.  “She says it’s about Shi.”

Chapter 23

Janell sat in a loveseat in her living room with B.I.T.C.H.  Shi was missing, she had not been seen in about two weeks.

  “Where could she be?” Janell asked for the thousandth time more to herself than to anyone in particular.  

  Brittany was shaking her head.  “We couldn’t exactly follow her everywhere.  We didn’t think we needed to, I mean we saw her occasionally and…” Brittany didn’t know what else to say.  She was taking Shi’s disappearance the hardest. She was thinking that maybe if she’d told her what they were up to sooner, or if she insisted that she get out.  

  “We were undercover Nelly,” Charika said.  

  “We couldn’t hold her hand during this,” I’esha said to try and convince herself they were not responsible if anything happened to Shi.  Sure no one blamed them but themselves.

  “Shi can take care of herself,” Tamekia voiced.  

  Everyone thought she was in denial.  Everyone knew what more than likely was the fate of a missing person who did not pop up or call anyone they knew within forty-eight hours.  Although no one said it Shi was already presumed dead by everyone except for Tamekia.  She believed Shi was alive, even after Tavonte did all he could to try and locate her.  It was like she vanished off the face of the earth, they couldn’t even find her car.  Tavonte had put out a nationwide A.P.B. on her car, but nothing came up in the last two weeks.  It was not possible that Shi was driving her car and but no law official spotted her.

  “We told you what she was up to,” Brittany said to Janell trying not to get in another debate with Tamekia about the reasons why she thought Shi was alive. 

  “And that was dangerous, if Spencer found out who she was then-”

  “He doesn’t know.  Spin’s been calling D-loc asking questions and trying to find Shi.  The word is out and everyone’s looking for her,” Brittany explained.  

  Janell sighed loudly and began massaging the tight muscles in her neck.  “What do you think happened?”  B.I.T.C.H. shrugged in unison.  “What else was going on with her that we know.”

  “The last thing was the fight,” Tamekia said.  “And she seemed to being holding her own, she mopped the hoe.  Her friend was doin’ her thang too.”  

  “Who were those girls?” Janell asked trying to make sure they overturned every stone and examined every angle.

  “Some girl who worked for her named Latoya Penny from Oakland.  Word was she use to mess with Spencer before Shi,” Brittany explained.  “The other girls name is Carmen Jimenez, she’s one of Spin’s baby’s mommas.”

  Janell shook her head slowly, “I can’t believe that one got by us.”

  They had not known Spencer had children even though they’d had a complete background on him done by the F.B.I.

  “Right,” Tamekia said.  “They probably don’t know who kids them is. Or with all the money that nigga pullin’ in he must be kickin’ down because I’d have a hard time believing that they wouldn’t have went to the Welfare office and Court house.”

  “Anyways, according to Vicky, Carmen and Shi have a little history,” Brittany said trying to stay on track.  “They all went to High School together and Shi beat her ass in the girl’s bathroom,” she said as Janell’s eyebrow went up.

  It was silent as Janell’s mind began working on what she’d just heard.  Her mouth slowly dropped as she began to get it.  Tamekia nodded, “Danger.”

  “How much does Carmen know about Shi?” Janell asked and no one answered her.

  “If she tells Spencer…” I’esha said loudly sighing.  

  “You guys are overreacting.  What exactly is this chick gonna say to Spencer?  ‘Hey you know your wife, her family burned in a horrible fire?’  No, I don’t think it’s a topic you call to talk about.” Tamekia said.

  “But there is a good chance it might be brought up.  You know how messy bitches gossip,” I’esha argued.  

  “‘Spin, ain’t it sad what happened to her family?’” Tamekia said imitating a girl’s ghetto voice.  “Don’t sound too likely.”

  “Anyone know what she told Spencer about her family?” Janell asked trying to avoid a debate.

  “I think she told them she was adopted and ran away or something,” Brittany said.  “Or at least that’s what D-loc said.”

  There was more silence which Janell broke.  “What if Carmen did say something to Spencer?”

  “If she did then Spencer don’t care.  Brittany just told you Spencer got everyone in the bay looking for her,” Tamekia said.  

  “But what if it was just for show?” Janell asked stirring the pot.  “She knew they were in disagreement on the subject but they needed to thoroughly go over the possibilities.  

  “Couldn’t be show. If he did something to her he’d want the streets to hear so it could build up his rep.,” Tamekia said.  

  “So what do you think happened to Shi?” Janell said getting frustrated at her not taking the bait and putting down the ideas she had.  No one answered her.

  “It’s just a matter of time before that girl says something to Spencer,” I’esha said.  “We just don’t know what, when and what he’ll do about it.”

  Helen stood up nonchalantly and headed for the door.

  “Helen?” Brittany called.  She stopped and turned around.  “Where are you going?”

  She smiled and it sent a chill down Janell’s spine.  “For a little drive,” she said dryly and before anyone could respond she was gone.  

  Janell was going to say something when her cellphone rang and everyone’s attention went to it forgetting Helen.  B.I.T.C.H. sat quietly as she said, “Hello.”  Janell listened and looked at Brittany then slowly the rest of B.I.T.C.H.  “What do you mean?” she asked.  The look of confusion on her face quickly left and was replaced with a smile which lit up her face.  “Good, I’ll tell the girls.”  Janell hung up the phone with her smile still in place.  “That was Tavonte,” she said looking excited. 

  “He found Shi?” Charika asked moving to the edge of her seat.  

  Janell nodded and they all sighed excitedly laughing nervously.  “Where was she?” Tamekia asked relieved and happy that she was right, she’d told them Shi was not dead.  

  “She’s okay?” Charika asked.

  “He didn’t say where she was and she’s fine.”

  “Well?” Brittany said noticing Janell’s smile was not going away and sensing that there was something else she was supposed to tell them.

  “Where ever she went she’s had time to think.  Shi called Tae and asked what he needed her to do.”

  The girls looked at Janell with astonishment.  “You mean…” I’esha started but did not finish in fear that she was mistaken.

  Janell nodded, “We got her.”

Chapter 24

Spin was ready to kill.  If D-loc wasn’t his best he’d of popped his coke addicted ass.  He was debating killing Rod just to blow off some steam.

  “Where is my wife?” he asked them heart pounding in his ears.  He genuinely loved Shi, but he was a man and cheating, creeping and sleeping around is what men did.  It was nothing against his wife, it was just the life he lived.  The life he had to live; not only to survive but to take care of his.  

  “We got every nigga in the Bay with they ear to the ground.  They know to look for Shi and get they shit off later,” D-loc said standing against the wall in Spin’s office.  

  “What if she ain’t in the Bay?” Rod asked.  “What happened?”

  Spin had been over it already.  Shi caught him fucking C.C.; finally.  She was bound to find out about it sooner or later.  Spin just hoped it would have been later and not so soon.  Spin was trying to look at the bright side.  Because he’d only been caught once it would be easy for him to do damage control, if he could find her.  He could plead and let her know it only happened once.  He’d explain that he never before gave her reason to suspect him-since he’d been smart about keeping all his sideline hoes away from Shi. Money was a powerful motivation in that respect.  He’d tell her he was weak and swear on his mother’s life that it wouldn’t happen again, though he knew that would be a lie.  

  He already fired C.C. and would blame the whole thing on her.  He didn’t care about not having C.C., there was still Terri.  They hadn’t been caught.  It was a rush to Spin.  The rush of getting’ it at home right under Shi’s nose, that was the only reason that he even gave C.C. and Terri any play.  He hadn’t paid them any attention before he and Shi got married and she moved in.  

  What she don’t know… Spin thought.

  But now she did know, Spin would do almost anything and everything to get her back.  

  “She caught you?”  Like how?” Rod asked once Spin’s silence told him that he was not going to even attempt to answer his question.  He was annoying him.  He’d told them everything, how he was in C.C’s guts and no, he didn’t know how long Shi had been standing there.  He’d only noticed her when he was changing positions and getting C.C. ready to ride reverse cowboy style.  He froze when he saw her face.  Her eyes were large and she had her mouth open.  She let out a breath, turned and left.  Spin saw the pain in her eyes and felt it in his heart.

  “Fuck!  Shi!” he called, but she was gone.  He ran after her naked and all, but by the time he got to the door her car was racing by.  She looked around and headed towards the gates.  

  She hadn’t answered her phone in the past two weeks and he knew it was all because of him.  He sent C.C. home, took a shower and waited in their room for her to call or come home.  But she didn’t come home.  The next morning he called Simply Shi and spoke with Vicky.  Either she was covering for Shi and knew where she was or it was the first she’d heard about Shi going M.I.A,-which he doubted.  

  A week and over a hundred calls later he was sure Vicky was just as in the dark as he was.  He hated the bitch though she was fine and he’d often fantasized about her in bed and Shi joining.  Yeah, Vicky was a bad bitch, but so was his wife.

  He and Vicky were only talking because of Shi missing. He knew the relationship would return to its normal you-no-good-nigga-fuck-you-bitch relationship once they found Shi.

  “Look G, you need to get on the mail and beg her ass to come home,” Rod said.  “You need to pour it all out over the mail.”  Spin had already done that, so many times that her voicemail was full.  

  Spin was getting more and more anxious and irritable, he was on the verge of shooting Rod when his cellphone rang.  She wasn’t programmed in his phone, but he recognized the number.  It was Vicky.

  “Yeah,” he said heart pounding like it did every time she called and he called her wondering what he’d hear and what the update would be.  “You find her?”  His throat was going dry as he waited for her to answer.  His stomach was cramping, all he wanted was one more chance.  He’d change or at least try and change.  He’d thought about it and convinced himself that he could be faithful and would be if that was the only way to get her back.

 I swear to God I’ll do right by her.  I’ll get out the game.  I got enough.  I’ll take her and we’ll move to the Bahamas or something.  Anywhere she wanna go.  Anything she wanna do.

  “Yeah,” Vicky said and Spin sighed letting out all the tension he was holding inside.

  The relief flooded him.  “Where is she?” he asked.

  He didn’t hear Vicky’s response because someone else answered him. The voice drew his attention away from the phone.

  “Right here!”

  He looked up just as Rod and D-loc looked to the door.  Spin’s heart stopped like it did the first time he saw Shi at the Cheesecake Factory.  There she stood in the doorway of his office looking like an angel in a white tee and tight white pants.  Her hair was combed to the side and fell over her shoulder.  

  “Vicky she’s right here, let me call you back,” Spin said hanging up before she could respond.  He looked at D-loc and then Rod and they got the message.  

  “Hey Shi, nice to see you,” Rod said walking passed her.

  “You too Rodney,” she said in a calm voice.

  “Nice to have you back Shi girl,” D-loc said.  He always called her Shi girl as in Shy girl.  

  “Thanks Daniel.”

  As the door closed them inside Spin was trying to read her.  Once the doors were closed he took a cautious step, his heart was pounding hard again.  She took a step towards him and he licked his lips getting ready to begin his apology.  

  “Just tell me it’ll never happen again.  Let’s kiss, makeup and take me out to dinner.”

  Spin felt relieved as he reached out and embraced his wife.  

  “I’m sorry baby,” he said.  He thought he heard her say something back but didn’t catch it.  “Huh?” he moaned rubbing his cheek against her hair.  

  “Nothing,” she said softly.

  Spin held on to her not wanting to let her go again.  His brain began to register what he thought she said, but he pushed it out of his head.  It didn’t make any sense.  He’d apologized; told her he was sorry and it sounded like she’d said, “You will be.”

Chapter 25

Carmen was sitting in her apartment on Cypress in Hayward.  It was her first of two days off from work.  She worked at the Days Inn off Fruitvale.  

  She was walking around picking up stray toys.  J.J. was sleep in his play pen and she was doing as much cleaning as she could before he woke up.  She took some meet out the freezer, went to the couch and started her new Triple Crown book.  

  Over the past few months she’d picked up the hobby of reading.  She attempted to start a book club, but that was a bust.  It was supposed to be her, Latoya, Veronica, Yolanda and Racheal.  However so far she was the only member of their book club reading.  They’d all started with Nikki Turner’s Project Chick and she was the only one to finish.  When she moved to the next book they all began with the excuses.  Racheal complained the books cost too much.  Sure fifteen dollars was a lot and she wasn’t exactly ballin’ but what the hell.  She needed a hobby; something to fulfill her life; something to look forward to; an escape.  She was a single mother and sometimes needed to get away.  So after she pulled a pound of hamburger meat out the freezer for spaghetti-which would last them all week-, she grabbed her book Dirty Red.  She curled up on the couch and began reading.  

  She finished chapter two and was starting three when there was a knock on her door.

  “It’s open,” she yelled looking at J.J. hoping he didn’t wake up.

  The boy looked just like his daddy, Von.  She had no idea Spin would be that stupid to think the child was his.  Though the baby was mixed with black he looked nothing like Spin.  But if there was ever any questions about his looks Carmen would just claim was from her family.  Luckily Spin never claimed not to be the father.  

  Why she let Spin believe her child was his was partially because of the way she felt about him.  She’d fallen in love with Spin, he was fine, the dick was good and most of all Spin was ballin’ and Von was in prison.  He didn’t know he had a child.  

  The front door opened and Latoya poked her head in.  Carmen put her finger over her mouth and Latoya nodded.  She opened and shut the door silently as she crept in.  

  “How’s my God baby?” She asked walking to the couch and looking at the sleeping four year old.  

  “Bad as hell,” Carmen said closing her book.  “La Chupacabra,” she smiled.  “Que tal?” 

  “Bitch yo’ ass know I don’t speak Mexican.”  

  Carmen rolled her eyes.  “Look puta, it’s Spanish and as many times I say it yo’ ass should know what I mean.”

  “We in America hoe so speak ingles,” Latoya laughed.

  Carmen shook her head.  If she didn’t know Latoya’s racist ass she’d be offended and ready to take the bitch down.  But Latoya was her girl, ever since they’d met a few years ago while they were both fucking Spin.  Who he was actually cheating on had never been settle though Carmen was one up since she had his seed.  Or what everyone thought was his seed.  

  “What’s up?” Carmen asked in English.  

  “Oh, aye I been thinkin’ ‘bout openin’ my own shop.” Carmen lifted a tattooed eyebrow.  “Yay!  And it’s gonna blow that bitch Shi’s shit out the water.  I was the best stylist she had up in there.”

  “Oh I gotta hear this shit,” Carmen smiled.

  “Shut up hoe.  Look I found a place and all.  My cousin Tasha said she’ll work in it.  I got some otha bitches in mind too.  I’m gonna call it Toy’s.”

  Carmen nodded thinking it was a nice catchy name.  She knew Latoya could do hair, she did hers free of charge and the girl got down, especially to have never been to school for it.  

  “See everybody need they hair did, that will never go out of style.”

  “How you gonna pay for yo’ dream chica?”

  “That’s where my business partner comes in.”

  “Who’s your business partner?”

  “You bitch, duh.”

  Carmen was shaking her head, “I ain't got no money, and if I did it ain’t fo’—”

  “—No bitch.  Do I have to spell it out for you?” Latoya said leaning forward on the sofa she sat on across from Carmen.

  “Yes,” Carmen responded.

  “S.P.I.N.”

  “Spin?” Carmen asked confused.

  “Yeah, I’d ask, but he ain’t gonna give me shit.”

  “I ain’t gonna ask him fo’ no money, he barely give me money for Jay and you think he gonna give me the kind of money you need to start a hair place?”

  “He’ll give it to you before me, you got his seed.  Hello!” Latoya said rolling her eyes.  “Tell him he can’t see him no mo’e, threaten child support.”

  Carmen was shaking her head.  The man never came to see his child and child support would be a joke.  According to the government Spin was unemployed and owned nothing, shit he was homeless.  If Carmen tried to take him to court there’d be questions asked and she was not about to get herself killed fucking with Spin.

  “Please, Carmy,” Latoya pouted.  Carmen sighed instead of answering.  “Will you help me?”

  Shrugging Carmen said, “What can I lose?  But I don’t do hair.”

  “Bitch neither could half them hoes in Shi’s shop.  You can be a manager or something.”

  Carmen laughed.  She did not like Shi at all.  Spin was the second man she stole from her and Carmen was not letting her get away with it this time.  She’d been plotting and scheming since she found out that Spin married her old nemesis.  Every time she had Spin in her bed she thought of the words to say.  It was not something simple like coming out and telling him who she was and about her family.  The problem was she did not know how to approach the subject without sounding like she was gossiping or hating on the bitch.  Latoya did not know she was still sleeping with Spin though she knew from their past conversations that Latoya was.  Spin denied it, but she knew he was lying.

  “Hell and why you at it ask that nigga fo’ a new car because I know he ain’t gonna wanna keep paying for it to get fixed.”

  “Fix?” Carmen asked.

  “I bet his ass ain’t even payin’ fo’ it now,” Latoya said rolling her eyes.  “Is he?”

  “What?  Ain’t nothing wrong with my car,” Carmen told her.

  Her car was a two thousand Acura with enough miles on it to kill a Toyota.  Other than the bad breaks it ran good.  She kept up the maintenance and made sure to get it looked at the slightest sign of trouble.  Sure she wanted a new one but it could wait a little.  She didn’t have it like that and Spin wouldn’t be givin’ it like that.  She’d have to work a little harder to get her where she wanted him.  The only problem was it was hard with that bitch Shi in the picture, he didn’t come over as often and she couldn’t just pop up at his house.

  “Then why is that lady out there under yo’ hood?”  Carmen’s eyebrow went up.  What? She thought.  She’s kidding.  Latoya got up and went to the door and looked outside.  “Yeah, some white hoe is out here up under your hood.”

  “No,” Carmen said getting up off the couch.

  “Gold?  Acura?”

  Carmen walked onto the balcony and looked down to her parking stall.  “What the fuck?” she said turning to run in the house.  She grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter and headed back for the door.  She raced down the stairs with Latoya on her heels.  

  “You don’t know her?”

  “Hell no.  Aye!  Aye!” Carmen yelled speed walking to her car almost out of breath.  The blonde looked from under the hood.  “What the hell you doin’?” Carmen yelled walking up to her.

  Wiping her dirty hands on a towel the woman came around the car.  She had a grease smudge on her right cheek.  She wore a blue mechanic’s jumpsuit.  The name tag read, ‘Helen.’  

  “Fixing this car,” she said in a slightly deep voice.

  “Ain’t shit wrong with this car.  Who are you?” Carmen yelled.

  “Helen,” she smiled a pearly white smile pointing to her name tag.

  “Well, Helen, why the fuck you fuckin’ with my car?”  

  She shrugged, “Just fixin’ it.  Who are you?”

  “Carmen,” Carmen said with much attitude ready to start swinging.  

  “Okay,” Helen said turning around and closing her toolbox.  She took the trunk off the stand and let it slam down.  

  “Okay what?” 

  She smiled at Carmen, “My work here is done.”

  She grabbed her toolbox and started walking away.  Carmen was torn between checking on her car and fucking the white bitch up.  She chose her car seeing as it was too late to get to Helen.  She’d climbed into a dirty blue pick up after throwing her toolbox in the back.  

  “Crazy bitch,” Carmen yelled as she drove off.  

  Helen waved cheerfully as she passed.  Carmen wanted to throw something but only had her keys in her hand and nothing was in sight on the ground.  Latoya was laughing.  “Crazy ass white bitch, I was ‘bout to fuck her ass up,” Carmen yelled.

  “Why she fixed your car, be grateful.  Shit, it was free.”

  “That shit ain’t funny bitch,” Carmen said loudly walking around her car to see if anything was different.  

  Everything looked fine on the outside.  Latoya was standing twenty feet away still laughing.  Carmen couldn’t help but laugh too as she said, “That bitch bet not have fucked up my car.”  She opened the door and got behind the wheel.  She left the door open and she put the key in the ignition.  “It bet-” she never finished her sentence.  She turned the key and the car’s engine clicked once, twice and as the engine turned over and caught the car blew up.  Latoya was thrown a hundred yards back slamming into the side of the apartment complex.  

  The car was totaled and so was Carmen Sanchez.  

  Helen inhaled and exhaled as she heard the explosion.  She could see the smoke rising as she drove the pickup onto the freeway.  She was headed to the Enterprise to drop the stolen truck back off.

Chapter 26

The news of Carmen’s death came when Spin and I were making plans for a big Halloween party.  Yes, I’d been home a week and I was taking the nigga to the bank.  He hit me hard and I was going for an even harder low blow.  I planned to throw a party for every occasion, every chance I got.  Hell, I’d been home one week and already I’d spent a hundred racks.  All from shopping.  Me and Vicky hit the outlets and the designer stores in L.A..  Yes, we flew there first class on the spur the moment. 

  I told Vicky what Spin did and she was disgusted.  

  “And his ass acted like you just up and left.  He didn’t tell no one you caught his sorry, no good ass in bed with the help.”

  I shrugged, that didn’t surprise me.  

  After I caught him I went to Dr. Richards.  I spent a day moping and then she coached me out of my catatonic state.  She suggested a divorce.  “Once a cheater always a cheater,” she said.  The thing was I had plans for my dear sweet hubby.  

  First, I called Agent Hodges and told him I was ready to talk as long as I wasn’t the only one talking.  We set up a meeting.  I told Vicky about him and she was all for it.  “You taking him to the bank first, right?”  I smiled and nodded.  Come on y’all know I was.

  Let me tell you something.  When you marry a nigga who got money and he cheats and gets caught and you stay and he’s trying to prove himself to you, that is the best shit in the world.  Shit, I kinda wish I’d of caught that ass cheating before and sorta wish I’d catch his ass again.  And let me tell you I fully understand and agreed with Kobe’s wife’s decision to stay when I saw the house  and the ring on her finger.  If that hoe had a house, then a bitch had a villa; a bitch had an island.  My rock was so phat and fat that I left it in the box on the dresser.  That shit was just too damn big to wear, it actually hurt my finger to put that shit on.  I only wore that shit once and swear I needed a splint after.  

  While we plan for the Halloween party Spin’s phone rang.  “Wha’z good Loc?”

  He went silent listening to whatever D-loc was saying.  I was too busy thinking about the new Beemer I was gonna custom order to trip off his ass.  “What?”  I looked up at him.  “I’ll meet you there.”  He hung up.  “Carmen’s car blew up.”

  I lifted an eyebrow.  

  What did I care?  

  I had a feeling he was gonna buy her ass a new one.  I didn’t care I would share the wealth.  Shit if I ever get ahold of his phone again I was on call Jameesa and ask if she wanted to go shopping.  Spin didn’t know shit about a woman scorned or the chain of events he set into motion.  Wifey was gone and it was time for Shiesty Shi to come back and do what she was there to do.  I was in the perfect position, I just didn’t know how I’d approach the subject or when.  Hell, maybe I’d tie his ass up and put a nine to his head.  

  “She’s dead and Toy’s in the hospital.”

  “A car bomb?” I asked shocked.  I mean I didn’t really care the bitch was gone, but I mean, I didn’t expect the shit.  

  He nodded getting up.  “I’ll be back.  I need to go see that my son gets to her moms.”

  I didn’t believe that shit, but, whatever.  I watched him leave.

  A car bomb?  Like who does that?  I mean, really?  Who even knows how to make a car bomb?  Who thinks of that type of shit?  I’d already knew the answer before I asked the questions.  But that led to another question which I still ain’t got answered.  

  What the fuck is B.I.T.C.H. up to?

Chapter 27

It was three in the morning when my phone rang.  My Halloween party was that night and I was still waiting for the call from Agent Hodges about the meeting.  I’d spent a well over a million dollars in the past week on the party alone.  I had my good friends at Gucci custom make my and Vicky’s costumes.  We were angels.

  Vicky was a regular ole good angel and I was of course the dark one.  I’d spent a mill on the party itself and the custom car I ordered, shit, it cost a million just to stamp a rush on it.  

  I’d plotted, well fantasized about my plans to kill, yes I said kill, Rod and D-loc.  The other niggas who raped me I was hoping to see at the party.  Oh yeah, Shiesty Shi is slick.  

  Anyways I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.  

  “Hello.”

  “Shi, I’m sorry to wake you but… I can’t sleep.”  It was Faye’s mother.  I sat up.  “Fatima, she’s not in her bed.  I been sitting up waiting and… she use to call but, I know she’s with him again.  I just know it.”

  I was getting fed up with the little girl.  She’d been on track for a few months and was almost done with her cosmetology course.  I was considering hiring her ass again and giving her her own chair but now this shit.  I hadn’t spoken to Faye or seen her mainly because I was giving her some tough love.  But her mother kept me up to date.  We talked about how Faye was doing and just got caught up on everything.  

  “I’ll go look for her,” I said cutting the conversation short knowing where it was leading.  

  “Thank you Shi.  God bless your heart.”

  I smiled and told her to pray and I’d call her back.  I was getting out of bed.  

  “Who was that?” 

  I looked over at Spin, “Sista Patterson.”

  “Oh my God, you’re not going out to look for that girl again cuz.”

  I had a quick flash of anger.  Did this nigga just bang on me.  “Yes, I am blood!”  He didn’t want none.

  He sighed as I got out of bed and went to put on some clothes.  I grabbed my phone and purse and drove to Kevin’s house.  Something told me not to knock on the door and just wait.  So I retrieved my bundle out the trunk from under the spare tire, parked across the street and waited.  I was guessing if I was gonna be sneaky a bright pink car was not the business.  I sat my glock in my lap and I waited listening to Ne-Yo’s latest album Year of the Gentlemen.  This nigga had me near tears as I listened to Lie To Me.  Then I was actually in tears as Faye left my mind.

  “Thought I get to see your face again.  But my flight got canceled, wouldn’t stop rainin’.” He sang and automatically I thought of King.  

  I heard he was really worried about me so when I got back I called and all he said was, “I’m happy you’re okay,” and that was the end of the conversation.  

  “So two days, three flights later I touched down.  But there was trouble with your family and now you’re outta town.

  “And I don’t like it, no this ain’t cool.  Feelin’ like somethin’, just don’t want me with you…The world keeps getting in the way.  Tryin’ to get to you, but it seems like, everyday there’s somethin’ new.  Baby the world, keeps getting’ in the way, with you is where I wanna be, but it just won’t let me.  ‘Cause it keeps gettin’ in the way…”

  By the end of the chorus and the beginning of the second verse I was calling King.  I didn’t care if it was four in the morning.  But then I saw them.

  They got out a car and he held onto her arm as they walked across the street.  I felt like Eve in Love is Blind as I hung up the phone and turned off the car.  I grabbed my gun and got out and hurried across the street.

  “Fatima!” I called.  They both turned around.

  “Yo’ ass again,” Kevin said,

  “Come on Fatima,” I said.      

  “She ain’t goin’ nowhere with you.”

  “I ain’t goin’ nowhere with you,” She mumbled.  She was high as hell.  

  I didn’t feel like dealing with the bullshit.  I pulled out my gun and pointed it at Kevin.  “Shut the fuck up!  Fatima get in the car.”

  “No!” she yelled.  “You don’t care about me.”

  “Would I be out here at four in the mornin’ if I didn’t?” I yelled.

  “If you cared would you have left me when I needed you.”  I was shocked.  “Even if you do care Shi, I don’t and you can’t help me if I don’t want it.”  I was stuck, I couldn’t handle this.

  “Fatima let’s get out of here and talk,” I said looking at her and keeping Kevin in my sight.  

  “I’m done talkin’ Shi.  I’m grown, I can do what I want.”

  “Yo’ momma is worried about you.”

  “So!  Tell her to stop calling you every time I leave.  Tell her to call God.”

  I sighed.

  “Aye look, put down the gun.  I’ll let her go but if she don’t wanna, I can’t make her,” Kevin said.  

  I lowered my gun and looked at Faye.  

  “Faye, I’m sorry.  I love you, you’re like my little sister.  Yes, I fired you but not because I didn’t care.  I just didn’t want to support a drug habit.  

  “I wanted you to do right baby girl.  I’m sorry and I promise I will do whatever I can to help you and be there for you.  We love you Faye.”  I was almost in tears again.  She looked at me and I knew I’d gotten to her.  How the mind works when high, I have no idea. 

  She took a wobbly step towards me. 

  “You just gonna leave daddy.”

  She turned and looked at Kevin.  “I need…” she started and Kevin held up a little baggy.  

  “I got what you need.  I can take care of you.”

  I looked at the heroin and my mouth went dry.  It was worse than I thought.  “No Faye, you don’t need that,” I tried.  

  “Yes, you do,” Kevin said calmly.

  Faye did not look at me.  “Shi just… I need it.  One more, that’s it and I promise I’ll quit.  I’ll call my momma and go home.”

  I’d lost her.  She took a step towards Kevin.  I pointed my gun at her and yelled, “No!”  She stopped but still did not look back.  “Fatima, I swear so help me God if you do not get yo’ pissy ass in that car… I, will!  Shoot you?”  My words were met with silence as my voice echoed through the streets.  It was Oakland, people knew how to mind their business.  Faye did not move and I had a feeling she was still gonna try to go with Kevin.  “Fatima!” I said with as much authority as possible.  

  “Shi you’re not-”

  I pulled the trigger and she and Kevin hit the ground.  I was shaking.  I’d moved my gun above her head before I pulled the trigger.  I walked over to her.  

  “Are you crazy,” Kevin yelled.  

  I grabbed Faye by her arm and said, “Yes, I am.”  

  I pulled her up and she cried when I drug her to the car.  

  “Why are you doing this to me?” she cried.  “Shi, please.”

  I packed her ass into my car, quickly got in and burned rubber leaving almost hitting Kevin.  She fell asleep in the car like she’d done the other times.  I called her mother and told her we were on our way.  She was surprised I wasn’t taking her home.  I explained her condition on the phone.  When I got to her house I helped shower her and put her to bed.

  “You got any rope?”  

  Sista Patterson gave me a weird look, “Rope?”

  “Extension cord?  Anything?”

  She left and returned with a thin blue and white rope.

  “Fatima is an addict,” I explained tying her arms down.  “She will lie and try everything she can to get out of here.  Don’t un-tie her.  She will be coming down and I know you’re her mother and hate to see her hurt but she’ll do more damage to herself than this can.”  I had her hands and feet tied down tightly.  “Make her breakfast and feed her, call me in the morning,” I instructed looking in Sista Patterson’s eyes.  “She start all the mess talking tell her it’s here or rehab.”

  Sista Patterson nodded.  “What else do I do?” she asked hungry for information and wanting to do anything to help her daughter. 

  I looked in her old worried eyes and said, “Pray.”

Chapter 28

The horns on my head looked like they were actually growing out of my head.  My hair covered the base of the horns giving it a more realistic look.  

  I paid two racks to Ra’Nee to dye my hair jet black, clip my ends and sow my hair in.  I gave her an extra fifteen hundred to pull my hair back into a perfect high ponytail.  Yes, a bitch could have done it herself but hell, I didn’t pay for it.  

  My makeup was done at the Mac counter and I tipped the girl who did my makeup a g’.  All she did was dark makeup which made my skin pop and helped put on my lashes.  Of course I had my eyes smoked out of this world.  I had on black contacts and red lipstick.  For a touch of evil I bought a pair of fangs which stuck to my K9s making them longer.  

  Gucci did the damn thang.  They made me a shiny black patent leather body suit that was so tight if I hadn’t of shaved my munk yo’ ass woulda knew.  It had built in open toed heels and sort of looked like the outfit cat woman wore in that old school Batman movie.  It was shredded in different places showing my caramel skin and giving me a provocative and sexy look.  I wasn’t simply going for a dark angel but for The Dark Angel himself, well, herself.  Yes, a bitch was Satan.  My manicured nails and toes were red.  The sleeves of my Gucci fit went down to my hands and a small piece came around my middle finger.  My wings which were black with a tiny glittery reddish tint were attached to the body suit.  They expanded and folded in.  I kept them folded down.  

  The outfit cost seventy, yes, seventy thousand dollars.  I mean it was Gucci, custom made and rushed.

  Vicky’s outfit was a little less than mine.  Hers was more conservative.  Like my cleavage was all out and the girls were pushed up damn near to my neck.  Vicky’s were covered, though her white Gucci body suit was just as tight as mine.  Her body suit was white and so were her French tips.  Her hair was highlighted and came straight down.  She had a halo and her makeup was light and less, more natural.  It was mainly there to make her face look lighter and give it a glow.  Her blue contacts were the shit and we looked bad.  I mean bad.  

  Vicky’s hair and makeup was three g’s because I wanted to pay.  

  The party started at eight, but no one really got there until a quarter to nine.  By eleven, the party was in full swing.  It was my first party and I was excited.  I’d decorated the big dining room slash ball room with black and orange.  

  Wait, did I say I? 

  Sorry, the designers I hired and flew in from L.A. decorated the big dining room/ball room with black and orange.  

  The room itself cost a good twenty grand and that was just the labor.  Spin paid cash for it all.  I was waiting for the black card.  Oh, a bitch’s goal was to max it out.  I wanted to be the first in history to reach its unlimited credit limit.  Shit, if I got my hands on that card again I was gonna try and buy Africa, and be like, ‘Charge it.”

  Vicky had a glass of champagne and I had my sparkling cider.  We were standing at the bar I had constructed when Spin came through the crowd.  He had an old man with two young girls on his side with him.  The man was dark as hell and short as fuck.  His wrinkled skin was set in stone and his face was covered by big glasses which looked prescription.  He was dressed like a pimp, hat and all and it seem to fit him.  Very well.

  “Hey, baby,” Spin said kissing my cheek.  He put his arm around me and then looked at Vicky and said, “Vicky.”

  “What?” she snapped with an attitude.

  They were at it again, just like normal.

  Spin rolled his eyes.  “Shi, this is the man that made this all possible.”  I smiled and lifted my eyebrow.  “Without his knowledge and influence I wouldn’t be here.”

  The old man laughed showing a mouth full of perfectly straight white teeth.  Yeah, they were dentures.  

  “No, hard work got you this,” the old man said in a shaky voice as he waved his hand around.  

  “Shi, this is Mike-G.  Mike-G this is my beautiful Wife, Shi…and her sidekick.”  

  Vicky was about to go off, but Mike-G grabbed her hand and kissed it.  “If this is what heaven has to offer, I’m going to repent right now and wait fo’ death.”  Vicky rolled her eyes and smiled as he kissed her hand again.  “I’m Mike-G.”

  “Nice to meet you Mike, I’m Vicky.”

  Satisfied with the introduction Mike-G turned to me and said, “God, sin has never looked so good.”

  “I try,” I said playfully.

  He grabbed my hand and kissed it.  “When you done with him, I’ll be waiting.”

  We all laughed and then I saw him.  I did a double take as my head whipped back and forth.  He was dressed as a vampire but I still remembered him.  He was standing next to Clair who was also a vampire.  Her outfit and make up was on point, I’d scoped her out when she got there.  Yeah, I give the bitch her props but she had nothing on me.  Anyways, I stood there with images flashing through my mind.  

  After D-loc finished with me that night, his ole fat nasty ass fell on top of me, squeezing on me, grunting and snorting like a pig.

  “What’s wrong?” I shook my head slowly at their distant voices.  “Shi you okay?”  I came back staring at five concerned faces.  

  “I’m good,” I smiled.  Then I looked back at the fat vampire and said, “Babe, who is that?  He looks familiar.”  I pointed to the slob.  

  “Oh, that’s Tiny.  We use to run together back in the day.  You know him?”  I shook my head.  “Let me introduce you.  Excuse us M.G.”

  Mike-G bowed and Spin pulled me through the crowd.  My heart was pounding as we approached.  When I looked into his eyes hoping he remembered me I felt sick to my stomach.  I shook his hand, “Nice to meet you Tiny.”

  This nasty ass nigga had the nerve to kiss my hand, ugh. I had to get away from him.  I looked up for an escape and saw Brittany.  “Look, it’s Ari,” I said walking off.  I’d invited B.I.T.C.H. but only saw Brittany, Charika and I’esha.  They were all dressed in matching outfits and looked bad.  Hell, I had to give it to them.  They were working it in denim and black.  

  “And what are you supposed to be for Halloween little girl?” Brittany asked. 

  “Alive,” I laughed.  

  “Dark angel?” Charika asked and I nodded.

  “Y’all?”

  “The otha angels,” I’esha said.

  “God’s?” I asked confused.

  “No, Charles’,” Charika said and we all laughed.  

  “So where’s the other two?”

  “Helen is out trick or treating,” Brittany said.  I’d already knew why she didn’t show up.

  “Tamekia’s over there,” I’esha said.  

  I turned and saw a half-naked Tamekia.  “Porn star?? I asked.  

  “Hooker,” Charika said.  

  I rolled my eyes.  “Y’all never did tell me what y’all was up to,” I said.

  “Agent Hodges will,” Brittany smiled.  

  I opened my mouth to ask a barrage of questions when D-loc appeared dressed like a pimp.  I watched as he sniffed some powder before I walked off.  I was working the room.  By one o’clock I’d seen and been introduced to the other two men that raped me.  

  I was at the bar with Vicky watching them all.  D-loc, Rod, Tiny, Will and Kidd.  Boy, I would not dare even speak out loud the things I had planned in my head.  I just smiled and bided time and tried to enjoy my party.

Chapter 29

“Hush little baby don’t say a word, moma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,” the nurse sang softly as she walked unnoticed through Oakland’s Kaiser Hospital.  

  No one looked twice at her as she strolled through the intensive care unit.  She walked into room seven where a burn victim from a car bomb lay with burns all over her body.  

  Latoya Mac had several broken bones and a severe concussion.  Surprisingly she was alert and conscious.  She was sedated because of the pain but was able to speak faintly, she knew what was going on.  

  The nurse slid the curtains closed behind her.  She was surprised no one noticed the nurse’s uniform she wore was not their standard scrubs.  It was a skirt with a zipper going down the back.  She had her hair in a ponytail and a nurse’s cap on.  Her white stockings led down to her heels which were six inches high-but then again, it was Halloween.  She stood over Latoya and smiled.  

  “Ms. Mac,” she said.  Latoya moved her head and moaned.  The nurse pulled out a hypodermic needle and a small vial of adrenaline.  She pushed the syringe into the small vial and pulled the entire contents into the needle.  The nurse rubbed Latoya’s arm and said, “Ms. Mac, it’s me.  I’m your nurse for this shift.  Call me Nurse Helen.”   Latoya’s eyes shot open as she focused them on Helen’s face.  “Do you remember me?” she smiled.

  Latoya was visibly panicking and Helen liked it, the fear in her eyes.  Latoya knew who Helen was, she remembered her.  

  “I’m sorry but Brittany says I’m getting too sloppy.  Said I needed to tie up loose ends and stuff, something about cleaning up after myself.” 

  Helen sat at the edge of the bed and Latoya’s heart monitor was going crazy.

  “I know,” Helen said reaching down and pulling off a high heel.  “How do they walk in these?” she sighed with a little laugh.  “Do you know how they do it?  Oh my God I…”  

  Latoya was moaning loudly and sobbing.  

  “What’s wrong?” Helen asked putting the needle up to her lips and shhhing her.  “Don’t I, I so hate it when people cry.  Why does…” she sighed.  “I have that effect I guess.  Nobody ever wants to just talk anymore.  All business,” Helen said putting her shoe back on and standing up.  

  Helen held the needle up, “Which side is yo’ heart on?”  She pulled the covers back a little and Latoya started sobbing uncontrollably.  “Let’s just try your left, wait…your left or mine?” Helen asked scratching her head.  After a few moments she shrugged, “I guess yours, so my right.”

  Helen slowly pushed the needle into Latoya’s chest.  Her screams were hoarse, muffled and weak.  Helen smiled at her and said, “Trick or Treat.”  Helen pushed the plunger down and instantly Latoya’s heart began speeding up.  

  Helen stood back smiling as she watched the monitor and the veins appearing in her eyes.  The machine went to two hundred and fifty and topped out at two hundred and ninety before falling rapidly.  Latoya’s heavy breathing stopped as she flat lined.  

  As Latoya’s blood pressure fell Helen walked to the window.  She was on the sixth floor.  She didn’t want to go out the way she came in.  

  Picking up a chair she lifted it over her head and threw it through the window.  It shattered.

  “Code blue intensive care.  Code blue,” a voice yelled.  

  Helen was at the window.  She looked down.  

  I haven’t been Rock climbing in a long time she thought.  This should be fun.

  Helen started climbing out the window as she sang, “And if that mocking bird don’t sing, moma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring…”

Chapter 30

I was attempting to get the girls alone so I could get some information, but it just would not work.  Tiny’s fat nasty ass just kept following me.  He was gross, a fucking pig.  He was throwing all sorts of food on a plate and pigging the fuck out.  Straight garbage disposal. 

  I went into the kitchen in an attempt to hide from the nigga and catch my breath.  I was having a barrage of repressed memories out there.  

  I was leaning on the kitchen sink when guess who finds me?  Yes, sir chubs a lot.  He had a plate of I have no idea what, and I ordered all the food.  He had a spoon up to his mouth, the plate was piled high.

  “Shi there yo’ fine ass is,” he said food falling out his mouth.  “Whaz good wit yah?”

  I shrugged, “Chillin’.”

  I was leaning against the sink and he was on the other side of the island.  He sat his plate down, and as he spoke and his food fell onto his plate something hit me.  

  “What’s yo’ sexy ass doing in here all alone?”

  I smiled, turned around and bent over showing all ass.  I went under the sink searching.  Besides the sound of his heavy breathing he was silent.  I knew it was because of my ass.  I moved chemicals around.  We had a whole host of cleaning supplies and I doubted any of them would work right.  I saw a bottle of bleach, Drano…

  I pushed them aside and nearly froze.  This shit was too perfect.  

  Rat poison.  Why the hell did we have rat poison?  This house cost too much to have rats.  I grabbed the box and wiggled my ass so I could keep his attention.  His heavy breathing put a mental image of him drooling in my mind.  

  I grabbed the box of rat poison and poured a hand full of pellets into my hand and then grabbed the bottle of Lysol.  I stood slowly and closed the cabinet.  

  “I spilled my punch and don’t want ants,” I said walking seductively to him.  I walked around the island and pushed my chest out.  Our breasts were just about touching.  I had my right hand on the counter.  “How old are you Tiny?  You look familiar,” I said with a smile.

  “Thirty-two.”

  I shook my head; he was too old.  “Guess not, but you’re cute.”

  I touched the side of his face with my left hand.  He looked at it and I dropped the pellets, all of them into his plate.  There they were light green, sticking out in the plate.  

  He was trapped in my gaze.  I grabbed his fork and started mixing his food to disguise the pellets.  He looked down at his plate.  I lifted a fork full to my nose and sniffed.  

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “Oh a lot of stuff.  It all ends up in the same place.”

  I smiled.  This nasty ass nigga don’t even taste his food.  Well good for me and bad for him.  I played with his food and mixed it up a little more.  It all looked like some kind of chilly.  I heard rat poison is deadly and wondered how long it would take to kill him and if it would.  Hell, if not I had another idea.

  “Let me get back before Spin get the wrong idea.  But look you should come around more… I’ll cook for you.”  Yes, long term poisoning.  I was able to put up with him if I was poisoning him.  “Don’t come out for like ten minutes, so Spin don’t think nothin’.  He real jealous,” I said walking out the kitchen with the Lysol.  

  “Where you been?  And what’s that?” Vicky asked the moment I walked out the kitchen and she seen me.

  “Oh nothin’,” I said sitting the Lysol against the wall.  

  Together we worked the room.  I saw Diamond dressed as I think a princess.  “The other girls decided to work, they all have dates.”

  “Diamond?” she was working for me and trying to go to school for cosmetology.  What can I say I’m a trend setter.  

  “They doing anything else?”  She knew what I meant, my whole means not a way thinking.  

  “Dime just finished cleaning her credit and gonna go to Everest in San Jose for medical assisting.  Everyone else is in school and have part time jobs.  Dating takes a back seat.”

  I nodded proud of them.  I was looking at the door waiting for lard ass to come out.  I wanted to watch and see what the rat poison would do.  Then I got a thought, what if he didn’t finish eating?  No, he would, of course he would.

  I kept an eye on the door the entire night.  

  At three just as the party was ending Brittany came up to me with the hooker and the other angels.  She handed me a card and said, “Thanks for inviting us.”

  They stayed until the party ended at four.  Brittany left with D-loc and I’esha with Tamekia and Charika.  Rod was with someone else.

  I looked at the card and opened it.  There was a plain white business card inside with a time written on it.  It read ‘7:00am.’  The card said, ‘Thanks for the invite, loved the Hair.  Can you do mine?  I already have an appointment at Simply Shi.’  If I was one of them dumb ass illiterate hoes I wouldn’t of got it.  But I knew it meant to be at my shop tomorrow at seven.  I balled up the card and looked up to see Clair staring at me from across the room.  I looked at her looking at me.  We mugged one another for like an hour before Spin walked in front of her blocking her from my view.  I rolled my eyes and began thanking people for coming.

  Vicky and Diamond were the last to leave.  

  “Bye Spin.  Oh, I been meaning to ask, me and Diamond been arguing about what you are for Halloween.  I told her you was a dog,” Vicky smiled.  Spin was a zombie.  He stared Vicky down.  “Oh I guess your right Diamond.  He’s not a dog, he’s just a no-good-cheating-bastard.  Later Shi.”  She was gone before he could speak.  

  I smiled at Spin who looked heated, “That ain’t funny,” he said.  

  “Awe,” I kissed him.  “You started it babe.”

  “How?”

  “Sidekick?”

  He rolled his eyes and walked off.  I still had not seen lard-do.  I shrugged and decided to go upstairs.  

  I found out what happened to fat ass when I woke up around six.  Spin was fully dressed and I wondered where the hell he was going.  And so early.

  “Aye babe I gotta take care of some shit.”

  “What?”

  “That fat ass Tiny done had a fucking heart attack or something in our kitchen.”

  My heart was pounding, “Is he okay?”  Spin shook his head.  “Call the ambulance.”

  “Naw cuz is dead Shi.  That means cops, I don’t want them around here.”  I heard a knock on the door.  “Come in.”

  D-loc appeared with Rod.  “He in the trunk.”

  “I’ll be back after we take care of him.”

  He kissed me. 

  “I have a head so I might not be here.”  

  Spin nodded.  “Call me when you take a break.”  He was gone.

  B.I.T.C.H. was so wrong.  I’d just killed a man and I couldn’t wait to kill another.  My little mind was working overtime as I waited for them to leave so I could get ready for my appointment.  

Chapter 31

I was at Simply Shi’s at seven on the dot.   I let myself in not bothering to turn on a light or give any sign that anyone was in the salon.  I went straight to my office where I found Vicky sitting behind the desk looking tired with a cup of coffee.  

  “Vick?  What are you doing?”

  “Here for the meeting.”

  I’d forgot she knew.  I was going to tell her to go home and go back to sleep when I heard a loud knock on the glass of the door.  I looked towards the front door and saw a figure silhouetting the blinds.  Heart beating a little faster I went to the door and peeked out the blinds.  A figure in a hoody and a trench coat stood at the door.  I opened it and the figure came in silently.  I was kinda confused because Agent Hodges was taller than me and the figure and I were about the same height.  

  The hood came off, “Damn it’s cold.”  My mouth dropped as I stared at the light skinned woman who could have been King’s sister.  Her familiar face and green eyes were bringing back a distant memory from my shattered past.  “Hello Shi,” she smiled.

  Her beautiful smile made me smile.  I hadn’t seen her since the pool party at T-money’s the night of the fire.  

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  “Who’s she?” Vicky was standing at the office door.

  The woman looked when Vicky spoke.  She looked at me and then Vicky.  “I thought we were alone,” she said looking back to me.  

  “Don’t trip that’s my other half, what I know she knows.”  I led her back to the office and pointed to the chair.  “You need anything?” I asked.  

  She shook her head as she sat in the chair across from my desk.

  “Well just to make everything look official here’s some water,” Vicky said placing three bottles on my desk; one in front of me, one in front of the green eyed woman’s seat and then her own seat behind my desk.  

  “That’s my best friend Vicky.  Vicky this is…” 

  I looked at the woman so she could finish my sentence because though I knew who she was I didn’t remember the hoes name.  

  With a smile she said, “Janell.  I’m Janell.”

  I wouldn’t have remembered it no way.  

  I sat behind my desk while Vicky leaned against a wall.  

  “Okay,” I said then asked, “Were you serious about the hair?”

  She laughed a musical laugh.  “No, but you are beautiful Shi.  You’ve grown so much.”

  “Thank you,” I said with a pearly white smile of my own.  

  “Okay, I’m gonna be blunt with you.  I won’t  because I can’t tell you everything.  Not yet at least…”

  “Why?” Vicky asked.

  Janell ignored Vicky and stared at me.

  “The shit I know about your husband would make you kill him…and we don’t want that.”

  “Who is we?” Vicky asked.

  Janell ignored her again taking a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth as if she were getting annoyed.  I know so rude.

  “Where’s Agent Hodges?” I asked.

  “His office.”

  “I thought I was meeting with him,” I said.  

  “Well, since you’re helping bring your husband down and with the line of work he’s in, we thought it’d be too dangerous for you to meet with him again.  Besides, we have certain procedures to follow.”

  I opened my mouth to ask another question but decided against it.  We were getting nowhere with the twenty questions thing.  I decided to let her tell it, after all it was her story.

  “Whelp, go ahead, you have the floor.”

  Janell looked at Vicky nervously and then took a deep breath.  

  “Shi tell me what you know about T-money.”

  I looked at her and said, “He was a drug dealer and a murderer.”  

  Janell nodded, “He murdered your father?”  I was stuck, someone seemed to know and agree, to confirm what I’d learned.  I nodded trying to reframe myself from asking more questions.  Janell shook her head slowly, “T-money was a pimp, a drug dealer and yes a murderer.  He was a thief and also a snitch.”

  My eyes got big, last I remembered she was his biggest fan.

  “But you never knew that T-money.  The T-money you knew was far from a saint, but, he was a good man who did a lot for his community.  He was about strengthening and educating the black race.  

  “T-money was a father and a hero to many people and yes, he did sell drugs.  This is where semantics is involved because he was what he was and did what he did, but he did with care… 

“…needle exchange, sending crack babies to college on a full ride while setting up trusts for them, taking people out the ghetto.  T-money has been responsible for doctors, lawyers you name it.  You should know Shi, look at what he did for you—”

  “—I did it!” I snapped.  “Not him, I studied and I passed those tests.  I did all of that Janell not T-money.”  I did not want to owe him anything or give him any credit for anything.  

  “But why?  Because he did for you what he’s been doing for years.  He pushed you like he did me.  I am a clinical psychologist because of him.  A P.H.D baby, and I’ve had a masters since I was twenty six.”  I looked at Vicky who had her eyebrow up listening intently; soaking everything in.  “Shi, if we are to move forward you must trust me and believe what I’m telling you.”

  I nodded.  I wasn't gonna take anything she said with a grain of salt.

  “First off, before I continue let me tell you I was T-money’s psychologist and Shi, T-money did not kill your father.”

  My heart was pounding.  Of course he killed my father.  I heard the conversation loud and clear.  

  “In fact your father has been alive the better half of your life.  He actually outlived your mother.”

  I was shaking my head; that was not true.  It couldn’t be true.

  “Pier?” I stopped shaking my head at the sound of my brother’s name.  I looked at her breathing shallowly.  My stomach was doing a number on me.  I couldn’t even think of anything to ask her.  “You ever seen his birth or death certificate.”  I didn’t answer, I didn’t think I needed to.  “Your father was allegedly murdered when you were two or three years old right?”  Once again that needed no response.  She seemed to know what she was talking about.  I couldn’t even analyze anything she said because she had scrambled my fucking brain.  I was shot.  “Your brother’s name was Pier Thomas Iverson,” she put emphasis on my last name.  “Who was his father Shi?  He was born when you were eleven, eight years after your father was supposedly dead and buried.  

  “If you look at his birth certificate you’ll see that his father is listed as Johnathan Freemen Iverson.”

  My heart was threatening to stop.  It was on the verge of straight flat lining.  I couldn’t, she couldn’t be telling the truth.  There was no way.

  “Shi, I know you have questions and I swear I have the answers and I swear I’ll give them to you in due time.  But first, we need your help…I know you know B.I.T.C.H.-more women T-money helped-and Agent Hodges, yet another.  There are hundreds of us Shi…” she said looking me in my eyes and making her voice sound loving and calm.  “T-money was just starting to work his magic on you.  

  “Now, there are a few of us that want revenge, and we owe T-money that much.”

  I was still tripping off what I’d just heard, so I was barely listening.

  “We want Spencer to pay.”

  “Then kill him,” I said indifferently wondering how I’d get my hands on Poppa’s death certificate.  

  “We thought about that believe me.  It’s our back up, but we have something much worse in store.”

  “What?” Vicky asked in a hoarse voice and I knew she was as shocked as I was.

  “Life,” Janell said finally answering one of Vicky’s questions.

  I nodded, I’d been to jail and it was so fucking depressing.  Being there for life, hell, I wouldn’t do it.  I’d kill myself.  

  “But we have some issues we need to work out and that’s why we need you…to make it all legit instead of like it’s a little prejudice and we’re just picking on Spencer.  I mean he’s not exactly top priority on the Fed’s radar.  Like T-money he’s managing to keep his name off too much paperwork.”  I nodded not really listening to her.  “We need you to gather information for us on his whole set up Shi.  The things he’s doing, the murders.  The drugs…we know he has law enforcement on the bank roll, we need to know names.”  She must have seen the look on my face because she said, “I know it’s not exactly like he’ll have it all written down neatly in a little accounting book.  We just need you to do your best on the physical evidence part.”

  “And then?” I asked still not fully there.

  “Then we’ll show you how to report it.”

  I lifted up my eyebrow.   “What about when they take him?  I lose everything?”  

  Janell shook her head, “Agent Hodges said find all the money you want and put it in a safe deposit box under another name… not Vicky’s, you two are too close and it’s a possibility they will check her out.”  I looked at Vicky who was stone faced and looking sort of pale.  “If you can prove you have the means to legally purchase the other items such as the car and house you’re good.  If you got receipts…”  I nodded.  “I know I haven’t told you much and it’s a lot to digest but this meeting was only to tell you what we needed and to see if you were down to ride.”

  I was still nodding my head staring through rather than at Janell.  

  “Why don’t you take some time and think about it all.  Go take a look at your brother’s papers and then give me a call.”  

  Janell reached into her pocket and pulled out a blank business card.  

  Where are they getting them? I thought.  Better yet why do they have them?

  She handed it to me and walked out.  Vicky followed and I sat still and silent, lost and confused.  

Chapter 32               

I called King and told him I needed to see him.  He made up some half assed excuse on why he couldn’t meet me and I took it.  I said okay and was ready to hang up but then he told me he was going to be at my shop for a haircut at four.  

  Vicky and I discussed the conversation with Janell and then I logged onto the internet.  I googled how to order a death certificate and a birth certificate.  I learned they technically had the same information except the death certificate would be more up to date, yet still I wanted to be sure.  

  Thirty minutes later I put my credit card number into the computer and ordered the public records of Pier Thomas Iverson.  It would take a week to get to me.  

  I told Vicky about the dead body in the kitchen and who he was. 

  “Wow, a heart attack in your kitchen?”

  I shook my head, “It wasn’t no heart attack, well at least not a natural one.”  She looked at me with a face that said, ‘okay, you gone keep goin’?’  “It was rat poison.”

  I didn’t have to say no more.  

  I decided to hide out in my office until King showed up.  King arrived at two and came straight to my office.  Vicky told everyone not to bother us and we locked ourselves in.  

  I started by telling him about the F.B.I. and then went into the meeting with Janell.  If he had questions then he’d just have to ask them to get filled in because I so didn’t feel like going over everything.  By the end his mouth was hanging open.  

  “That’s how I felt,” I said with an uneasy smile.  

  “Do you think that they know what happened to Free?”  I nodded, they had to though no one told me they knew.  “And who killed AJ”  

  I nodded again but felt like I needed to say something.  “More than likely.”

  Vicky left to check the front.  King and I were silently staring everywhere but at one another.  

  “King I’m sorry.”

  “Shi, don’t.  Let’s just try and do what the Feds want.  It’s the only out I see fo’ you, rogue.  Let’s concentrate on your safety.”

  I nodded.  I had so much I wanted to say, but it looked like he didn’t want to hear it.  He already knew about the cheating husband and seemed not to care.  I looked into his green eyes but saw sadness, loneliness.  I missed him and didn’t realize it until then.  

  The world keeps getting in the way I thought wondering how we got where we were.  Emotionally rather than physically.

  I walked out the office faking a bathroom attack.  As I crossed the hall I saw him.  Light skinned, skinny with long neat dreads.  He was a pretty boy which I’d only seen twice prior.  Once at my Halloween party and then again in a distant nightmare which happened to be reality.  His name was Kidd, and he looked like one.  He was flirting with Vicky as I walked up.  I didn’t wanna interrupt because I was happy to see Vicky getting back into the swing of things after she lost K.C.  She seem to be okay though.

  “Yo’ sexy ass comes into my shop and don’t say, ‘hi?’” I said throwing on a big smile.

  He smiled showing gold fronts.  “Wha’z good Shi?  I came up ova here since y’all doin’ it?  If I knew you was big cuz’s wife I’d been getting’ my shit hit here.”  I smiled.  “Y’all do dreads right?”  

  I smiled even bigger.  “We are dreads,” I said.  “Come on back to my office.”

  I wished I’d wore something more sexy to work, something that was showing more skin.  But it was good I’d just have to work the hell out of the jeans and tee I had on.  I opened the door and let him in.  I introduced him to King with a wink which he caught and then excused himself.

  “So what you need done Sexy?” I asked.  He took a seat and I sat on my desk legs wide open in front of him.

  “I just need my shit hit.”

  “Don’t we all,” I smiled seductively as I reached over and brought his head into my lap as I looked his head over.  I pushed his head back and smiled, “‘ight playa…you are so fine.”

  He was cheesing his ass off.  “Yeah, you wasn’t the bosses chick I’d take you down Shi.”

  “So that’s gonna be your excuse?”

  “Naw neva that.  It’s just-”

  “What the boss don’t know won’t hurt,” I said with an evil smirk.  He was all cheeses then.  “Let’s go get yo’ shit hit.  Biscuit’s good with dreads,” I said getting up.  “Aye, my nigga gay, don’t be trippin’ off him. He my boo.”

  “Don’t trip Shi, long as cuz don’t try nothin’.”

  “Biscuit,” I called.  He was sitting in his chair staring at James cutting King’s hair.  

  “Wha’z good?” he said in a high pitched voice.  

  “You is,” I called back as I walked to his station with Kidd in tow.  “I need you to hit my friend’s dreads and give 'um a playa price.”

  Biscuit got up and Kidd sat down in his chair.  

  “His name’s Kidd.  Take care of him, I’ll be right back.”

  My little brain was scheming like a motha.  I got in my car and rushed to Sally’s. 

  “I need razorless  hair removal,” I told the white girl working the counter.  She walked me to the back and gave me what I was looking for.  I passed the African Pride and decided to grab two jars.  “Do you have dog mane?”  She took me to the horse mane and tail and it was all wrong.  I needed the smell of pure dog mane.  

  I drove to Wal-Mart and found what I was looking for at the pharmacy.  I paid and dipped out back to the shop.  I carried my bags to the office in the back.  Biscuit was still busy on Kidd’s hair.  King and Vicky were in the office.  I grabbed a tub of hair gel and emptied it into the trash.  

  “Shi?” King asked.

  I set my ingredients on the desk.  

  “What the hell are you doing?” Vicky asked slowly.

  “Give me a spoon and some gloves, second drawer,” I said.

  Equipped, I dumped the African Pride and razor less hair removal into the gel jar.  After mixing it thoroughly I smelled it.  Vicky and King were watching me curiously.  It smelled like perm chemicals.  I opened the dog mane’s little vial and added a little.  

  “Ewe Shi, that stinks,” Vicky said wrinkling up her nose.  

  I sniffed, the chemical smell was almost masked.  I poured it all in and mixed.  It smelled horrid but hell, that’s dog mane, every person with hair knew it made it grow like crazy.  I closed the lid, got rid of the gloves and spoon and tied the trash bag I dumped them in to cover the smell.    

  I walked out with my new concoction.  “When you done, let me grease him up,” I told Biscuit.

  He shrugged.  Ten minutes later I was standing behind Kidd with my special grease.  

  “Ugh girl, what’s that dog mane?” Biscuit asked.  “Shit, yo’ hair gonna smell, but it’s gonna be bangin’,” Biscuit said with a smile and a wink.

  I needed to do a quick yet thorough job.  It took me four minutes to have the entire head covered in my grease.  “Done,” I said with a smile.  

  Kidd looked up at me, “Think I can get a line up?”

  My heart stopped.  Fuck! I thought.  The man’s hair was about to fall out.  I wanted him to be gone when it did.  James stepped forward and I shook my head grabbing some edgers.  I did a quick and fabulous job.  

  When I was finally walking him to the door I couldn’t help but stare at his head.  

  “‘ight, thanks Shi.  How much?”

  I smiled, “Spin is gonna be out of town tonight.  Give me yo’ hook up and maybe we can chill.  You know just chill, that ain’t bad is it?”  He smiled and shook his head.  I thought a dread would fall, but it held.  “So?” 

  He picked up a pen at the front desk and wrote his number down on the back of one of my business cards.  He handed it to me when he was finished.  I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “What they don’t know Kidd.”  I moaned a little.  

  He was ready, right then and there.  

  “I’ll holla,” I called and he bumped into the door on his way out.  

  I turned to a room full of people staring at me.  “What?” I asked looking around at everyone.  Biscuit was shaking his head while Diamond swept the clean floor.  Bay-Bay busied herself with her nails, and James was staring a little too hard at the T.V.  I looked over at Ra’Nee who had a hot comb in her hand.  

  “You nasty, that’s what,” she said continuing her clients hair as everyone burst into laughter.

Chapter 33

Spin was not home and I was thankful.  I rushed in and got dressed hoping he didn’t come home while I was getting ready.  Shit, we all know he wasn’t.  I slipped into a tight mini skirt and a tank top.  I put on my go-get-um boots and a bitch was ready.  I put on a little makeup and texted Kidd from a Google Voice number I’d set up and forwarded to my phone.

  I told him to text, not call.  Do you know this nigga was not trying to come?  But I, being the woman that I am. Let’s just say I’m very persuasive, especially when it came to a nigga and I had what he wanted.  The extra precautions I was taking so my husband would not find out seem to comfort him.  He was going to meet me in Redwood City at the same caprice motel I started at across the street from Tar-jay.  It was way out of the wayfor both of us.  

  We were meeting there at ten.  

  I drove Spin’s Hummer two there.  I had my gun in my Gucci purse along with some other necessities.  A bitch had it all planned out.  

  I knocked on the door wearing a trench coat and some glasses.  He opened the door and I went in.  He looked both ways outside.  The room was lit by one light.  I sat on the bed as he closed the door. 

  I noticed he was wearing a du-rag.

  “You were gonna deny me that dick?” I said taking off the coat and crossing my legs.  

  “Naw, mah, it ain’t that.  I, I think yo’ boy did my hair too tight.”  I lifted my eyebrow and he took off the du-rag revealing a shiny bald head that was lighter than his face.  I held my laugh inside as my mouth dropped.  “I know mayne, I been growing my shit fo’ since I was born.”

  “Awe poor baby,” I said opening my arms.  He came into my embrace and was on his knees feeling on me.  I felt fucking disgusting.  He was rubbing his face into my breasts.  I lifted up his head and bent down and kissed him.  Yes, I kissed him.  He was cute and actually a good kisser but that was not the point, I still  felt like I had to force myself not to vomit.    After the kiss I was tempted to see what else his tongue could do.  Yeah, I’m talking about get getting’ some head.  But instead I took off my tiny tee and then my skirt and demanded that he strip. 

  When he was down to his boxers I pushed him down onto the bed.  I could see the outline of his hard thick ass dick through the boxers.  I pulled a pair of handcuffs out my purse.

  “Oh naw mommy I don’t get-”

  I was on his lap dry humping and moaning.  Sixty seconds later the cuffs were in place.  I bent down and kissed him again and then bit down on his lip hella hard.  He sucked in air from the pain.  I moved down and licked one of his nipples, then moved down to his belly button which he sucked in as he began breathing heavily.  I slowly began pulling his boxers off him.  

  I noticed he had a beautiful body and a very pretty dick.  It was on rock for a bitch and I debated giving him a quickie before I killed him.  But why?  Give him pleasure after all the pain he cause me?  I grabbed the rope out my purse and began to tie his legs.  He was so fucking in the moment that his ass wasn’t even trippin’ off what I was doing or how tight the ropes were.  

  In my panties and bra I brought my purse and sat it next to him.

  “I remember our first time, do you?”

  “Hmmm?” he asked as I licked his earlobe.  

  “The first time we had sex baby,” I whispered playing with his nipples with my fingers.  “It was six years ago,” I whispered sticking my tongue in his ear.  “It was at the same spot I live in now.  But, the house was different.”

  “Mmmm,” he moaned in pleasure again.  

  The scene was coming back to me and I was getting heated.  

  “You don’t remember?  First it was D-loc, then Rod, then Will, then Tiny’s nasty ass and after him you had your turn.”

  I felt him go rigid.  

  “Do you remember?  Or do y’all treat every girl that special?”  I lifted myself up to a sitting position on his lap and started dry humping him.  His eyes were open now, they hella big.  “No, it wasn’t consensual.”  

  I reached into my purse and pulled out my nine.  He jumped but couldn’t move, he tried pulling at the cuffs.  I sat my glock on his chest.  

  “Don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.”

  “Help,” he yelled and I took my gun and pushed it into his mouth almost choking him.

  My heart was beating just as fast as his.  I wasn’t scared though, for some strange reason I was totally calm.  

  “Shhh!” I said putting my gun back on his chest.  

  “Please Shi, I didn’t mean to…”  

  I smiled as I took out my knife.  “I know you didn’t mean to hit me, to get hard and shove yo’ nasty ass dick inside me.  I know, I understand, and so you know I don’t mean anything that I’m going to do tonight.”

  He was crying as I opened the knife.  He tried to buck me and I slapped the shit out of him and it felt good.  I mean the shit sent a tingle down my spine and I almost laughed it felt so damn good.  I was a different person.

  “Stop being a bitch.  I’m not gonna kill you,” I said in a totally calm voice that was weird as hell.  He looked relieved as sweat dripped off the side of his face.  I smiled then quickly grabbed his dick which was now soft.

  “Shi no!  No!  No!  No!  Please Shi!” his voice was becoming hoarse as he screamed.  He was pulling at the cuffs frantically.  “I thought you said you ain’t gonna kill me?”

  As if I had not a care in the world I just smiled as I released his penis, grabbed his boxers, balled them up and then shoved them into his mouth.  With his ass muffled I grabbed tight to his dick again and brought the blade of the knife to the base of his dick wondering if I should take the scrotum too.  I looked up at him as he bucked and wrestled wildly to get free.  I could hear his muffled screams and only guessed he was yelling my name and pleading with me to stop.

  “Shhh,” I said trying to be heard over the noise he was making.  “I’m not going to kill you,” I reaffirmed with an evil smile.  I know it took all the power in him to stop moving and trying to free himself.  He was damn near soaked in sweat as his chest heaved up and down.  I kept my creepy smile plastered on my face as I said in a soothing voice, “But the loss of blood will.  Bite down!”

  Without a second thought I brought the blade across the base of his penis.  Blood shot out everywhere and I was thrown back by the force of his wild bucking as he screamed at the top of his lungs.  I didn’t even worry about him being heard, his muffled screams and cries made me laugh.  

  I stood over his convulsing body and reached down and grabbed the bloodied piece of skin laying between his legs.  I took the blade and with another swipe took his dick clean off.  Blood rushed out of the hole in his body.  Feeling my chest open I began breathing easier as I took the piece of flesh and began shoving it into his mouth with the boxers.  He shook his head still screaming, I could tell he was choking and I loved it; the violence and the pain.  I took my glock and pushed it into his mouth with everything else I stuffed in there with as much force as I could.  I could hear him gagging and choking and for no reason at all I hauled off and pistol whipped the fuck outta him.  I guess I knocked him out because he stopped moving.  

  Fuck!  I wanted him to be awake the entire time.  

  His breathing was ragged and shallow.  I did my best to wake him up, but he was out cold.  Cold water didn’t even work.

  Sighing I put my clothes on my bloodied body and my coat over my clothes.  I grabbed my knife, then carefully uncuffed him.  I needed my cuffs and just in case the rope too.  A bitch watched C.S.I. I know how that shit works.  

  I opened the door and peeked out and around.  I saw no one, so I quickly walked to the Hummer.  I didn’t care if blood got in Spin’s car.  I mean after all he was the murderer.

Chapter 34

I took a shower and cleaned up at my first home.  It was two in the morning when I got there and I prayed the girls were sleep.  

  I snuck to the bathroom undetected, cleaned up and was gone with my new change of clothes on and my bloodied ones in a trash bag.  I threw the trash bag in a dumpster and lit it.  

  I got home at three and was surprised to see cars and lights on.  I walked in and headed to Spin’s downstairs office.  I opened the door and saw him sitting at his desk.  D-loc and Rod were lounging around the room in different seats.  Clair was sitting on the small leather couch closest to the door.  I ignored her ole goofy ass though I dared the bitch to say something to me because I was ready to take her ass down right then and there.  I smelled weed and knew they were high.

  “Daniel, Rodney, Clair,” I’d said her name and then rolled my eyes so she could see then turned to Spin.  “Hey baby.”  I walked around his desk and gave him a long kiss hoping Clair’s ass was watching.  

  “I thought you were upstairs.”  

  I shook my head, “One of the girls had a breakdown and I was needed.”  Oh lying was so much simpler than murder.  I sat on his desk, “What y’all doin’?”

  Spin shrugged with a goofy smile on his face.

  “Shit, chillin’,” D-loc said and I laughed.

  “Y’all high ass bastards.  I’m surprised y’all ain’t in the kitchen,” I said rolling my eyes.

  “Fuck, that’s right you do have a kitchen,” Rod said getting out of his chair.  

  D-loc-who was sitting with his head on Spin’s desk-jumped up yelling, “Last one there.”

  Spin leaped to his feet.  “It’s my kitchen,” and they were gone, leaving me and Clair.  

  “Ain’t you supposed to be making the food or something?” I asked with a pleasant smile.  

  “No, your job is to be the slave while mine is to reap the benefits,” she said getting off the couch.  “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to use the bathroom.”

  Oh I was ready to hop off the desk and run across the room and hem that bitch up.  But she walked out the room and I took that as she didn’t want none.

  With a sigh my eyes traveled to where D-loc was sitting.  On the desk was a handful of powder in a sandwich bag.  I looked at the opened door and a bitches mind started going.  King’s mom popped in my head.  The difference was D-loc snorted where as she injected her shit.  I didn’t know what snorting battery acid did nor how long it would take to work.  Then I realized I didn’t just happen to have battery acid sitting around and the cars were too far. It’d take too long for me to get to the cars, try to figure out how to get some battery acid and be back with it.  

  The little shiesty, scandalous mind of mine was running wild.  I looked around the room and stopped at Spin’s desk lamp and then another lamp across the room.  Don’t ask me how I came up with this shit.  

  I took the bulb out quickly and took off my shoe.  I grabbed my sock and put the bulb in there.  I ran across the room and unscrewed another bulb.  I put that one in the sock also and ran to Spin’s desk.  I grabbed my shoe and started beating the bulbs to a pulp looking up and praying they’d take a while.  

  When I stopped hearing glass crunching I grabbed the bag of coke and emptied my sock into it.  The tiny shards blended beautifully if I had to say so myself.  I was shaking the bag to mix its contents when I heard something.  I turned around and Clair was standing in the doorway.  

  “What are you doing?” she asked as I stood there looking guilty with D-loc’s bag of coke in my hand.

  I swallowed hard knowing I was caught.  I had no idea what to say, I’d been caught.  Then something hit me.  I was a grown ass woman and this was my house, I didn’t have to answer to this bitch.  I fixed myself to tell her as much when the sound of Spin, D-loc and Rod laughing came to my ear as they walked in.  

  “Shi, put that down,” Spin said walking past me with a bag of chips and a plate of chicken.  He kissed me on the cheek.  “That shit’s bad fo’ you.”

  “Who’s is this?” I asked trying to play it off.  I was hoping to kill two birds with one stone.  I realized I had no idea how much Clair had seen and she could and would surely bust me out.  My heart was doing overtime. 

  “Loc’s” Spin said sitting behind his desk.  

  I shook my head and sat it down back where I’d got it from.  D-loc grabbed the bag after he sat down a plate of chips with nacho cheese over it.  

  “You need to stop, that shit is bad for you,” I said trying to act like I was concerned.

  “I know, it’s my last bag, I swear,” he said spilling a little on Spin’s desk.  

  My heart nearly stopped as I watched him form a line.  

  “Cuz, I told you not to put that shit on my desk,” Spin said through a mouth full of food from the seat behind his desk.

  “Don’t trip, I’ma clean it all up.”

  “That stuff’s gonna kill you,” I said swallowing the lump forming in my throat as I watched him snort the line and throw his head back.  I was holding my breath as I thought the glass had already done something, I thought he had felt it but then he breathed in deep and brought his head back up smiling and rubbing his nose.

  I let the breath I was holding out thinking glass on the brain is not good.  I couldn’t help but wondering how long it would be before I saw any signs that the glass was affecting his brain and exactly how it would do so.  I was really hoping the glass would kill him before I had to put one in ‘em.

Chapter 35

It was mid-November and I saw the headlines of the horrible and brutal murder of Kendrick Parker all over the newspapers.  There were no leads.  I smiled.  After seeing how obsessed I was with the media surrounding the murder Vicky got the picture.  I knew she knew I murdered him but said nothing.

  I mean what could she say?  

 I was a woman scorned.  Come on now, she killed her father so she should have totally understood.  

  Vicky came in and dropped the mail on my desk while I was reading I’m Still Wifey.  No, Kira was not done and the books were good as hell.  I had no idea there was an entire series.  I was gonna read them all.

  I saw the large brown envelope and my eyes widened.  My blood ran cold as I put my book down and picked the envelope up.  I looked up at Vicky and I knew it was the moment of truth.  

  I had a feeling Janell was right but hell, a bitch had to be sure.  I opened the envelope with bated breath as Vicky breathed down the back of my neck.  I pulled out the stack of papers and the first thing I found was Poppas death certificate.  I looked over the whole thing and found what I was looking for.  Mother: Lee Sharon Wells, she was thirty five when Poppa was born.  Heart pounding as I looked under her name.  Father: Johnathan Freemen Iverson age thirty seven.

  I guess Vicky saw it at the same time because she gasped.  The phone rang, but I let the front pick it up.  

  “But, how could?  Your momma said he was dead,” Vicky told me what I already knew.  

  I was just staring at the name.

  How could that be?  

  I never wondered who Poppa’s dad was.  He was my brother and that was all that mattered.  I mean maybe my mother put my dad’s name on his birth certificate and gave him our last name so he wouldn’t feel any different or left out.  

  Maybes are bullshit.  I needed to know for sure.  

  “Shi,” there was a knock on the door before it cracked open and Diamond’s head appeared.  “Phone.”

  I picked up the phone with my mind thoroughly blown.  “Hello.”

  “Shi?”

  “Yes ma’am.”  It was Sista Patterson.

  “She was doing so good.  I, I can’t find Faye.”

  I closed my eyes tight.  All the pain Faye was putting this little old lady through was nerve wrecking.  And as long as she didn’t give up on Faye neither would I.

  “I’ll go look for her.”

Chapter 36

I didn’t get home until two thirty.  I had no idea where Faye was and my search for her turned up nothing at all.  I sat out in front of his house for almost two hours waiting to see if they would show up.  No one answered the door when I knocked and it looked like no one was home though I knew someone was.  I wasted over a hundred dollars in gas driving around and staked out the tracks from the East Bay to the South Bay.  I was on the verge of driving to Vallejo, Stockton and Sacramento, but I was tired.  I wasn’t gonna be able to stay awake on the road.  It killed me to give up the search, but I did, and home I went.

  I was surprised to see Spin in the bed when I walked in and threw my purse on my vanity.  His light breathing filled the room and I just stared at him for a moment thinking about what I was doing and honestly not giving a damn.  

  I got changed into some pajamas too exhausted to take a shower.  

  I climbed into bed ready to go to sleep.  It seemed that as soon as my head touched the pillow.  

  I don’t know how long I was sleep when I felt Spin’s hand touch my back.  He slowly massaged me and the shit felt good.  I thought he was about to try and have sex which we wasn’t having that often.  The last time we’d fucked was the night before Halloween and that was awkward enough.  After he cheated I really didn’t want him to touch me.  The nigga disgusted me and I hated the fact that I couldn’t get the thought of him fucking another bitch out of my head.  

  I knew that I would need to act all fine and dandy like nothing was wrong and part of acting all fine and dandy was sleeping with my husband.  The only issue was I was tired and really so, not in the mood.  

  I was surprised when he pulled me into his arms and just held me.  

  “It’s you Shi,” he whispered in my ear as he kissed the back of my head.  “I love you, I swear I do, and I’m not perfect.  I fuck up and I’m going to continue to fuck up, but as long as you promise me that you’ll stick it out and put up with my faults and love me for me…”  He was rocking me as he spoke.  “I’ll always love you and hold you down… fuck them otha bitches, you my queen and no matter what I will always take care of home.”

  I lay there listening to him not able to close my eyes and go back to sleep.  I felt a yearning in my heart; some type of longing.  This nigga was gaming me up and I knew it, but why?

  What the hell did he do now?  

  “I miss you, I miss us, and I know I’m the fuck up.  I’m the reason why.  I know I don’t deserve to ask you for anything baby, so I won’t.  Not even for your forgiveness…”

  If the nigga was spittin’ game then the shit was working for some strange reason.  I guess it was the sincerity of his voice mixed with the tone and mood of the room.

  “I love you, and if you’ll let me… all I wanna do is hold you baby.  Can we just lay here together and remember us… the way we use to be…”  He kissed the back of my head again and we just lay there.

  And this was the thing that got me, the Spin that I knew.  The one I saw, the one that wasn’t the drug lord, the monster; he wasn’t the man that was possibly responsible for killing my entire family.  He was…

  I lay there contemplating the position I was in.  The man had me feeling some kind of way and I was about to set his ass up.

  Could I?  Could I tell them that I couldn’t do it?  Could I back out?

  I decided to leave all those questions for another day, I didn’t want to deal with it.  So, I closed my eyes and enjoyed lying in his arms dreading the sun.  It’s appearance would mark a new day and the signs of reality returning.  I’d have to get up and stop pretending; I’d have to face reality.  But that was a few hours, for now I was just going to lay there and pretend I was in a normal marriage, pretend I was loved by my husband and that I loved him.  

  I was so relaxed as I let all my cares and problems leave my mind and sleep slowly come when I heard a beeping sound.  I lifted up in his arms and turned to look towards the sound.  On the nightstand next to Spin.  The phone was lighted up and buzzed with every beep.  I looked around at Spin and then back at the phone.  It was a new phone.

  When did he get a new phone?

  “Spin, Spin your phone,” I whispered.  He was dead to the world.  He was a very heavy sleeper especially when he was high which he most likely was now that I thought about it.  He only got all romantic and philosophical when he was high.  

  I slowly climbed out of his arms and slipped out of bed.  I watched Spin as I stepped around the bed towards the phone.  When I got to the night stand I snatched it up and retreated to my walk-in closet holding my breath hoping he did not wake up.  

  I closed the door and looked down at the black BlackBerry.  I pressed the middle button and saw that the buzzing, beeping and flashing lights was from a text message.   I navigated my way through the phone until I got to the texts.

‘Spin I ben really stressin’ off this shit since we finally met.  But I think itz tyme we have a serious talk about me n u n xactly wher I fit n ur lyfe.’

  My heart was racing as red flashed before my eyes.  This ole sick ass nigga.  I couldn’t believe it after we was all booed up and shit.  The nigga was just a dog and he deserved everything that was coming to him.  My peace and relaxation was turning to something like jealousy and hate as I wonder which chicken head was texting him.  I looked at the message and then pressed the reply button.

‘Who dis?’ I got ready to text but stopped myself from sending it.  Spin would more than likely know who it was that was texting him even without a name, and whoever it was obviously had the new phone which probably had the new number.  You get what I’m getting at?  If I was gonna act like him then I had to be smart about it especially if I wanted to catch him.  We already know them bitches were already told to lie to me;  I had no doubt in my mind that they knew me and who I was.  I simply typed, 

‘Ok,”

  and then deleted the message.

  The bitch was probably one of them game goofy ass hoes who would spill her heart through a text message.  The phone beeped again and I hurried to open the incoming text.

‘Wen can we talk?’

‘Now,”

  I texted back and waiting sitting on the floor in the dark in my walk in closet.  

‘N person?’

  the next reply came swiftly.

  So much for that I thought.  She wanted to meet in person and not text…I was fucked.  I oughta burst the bitches bubble.

  I was about to do just that when another text came before I could start texting.  I went to check it.

‘I can meet u at ur place in 10.’

  My nostrils flared, the bitch was bold.  Sucking my teeth I decided to tell her to meet me somewhere else then when she texted that she was there I was gonna send a text back saying, ‘Wife where I wanna be.”

‘Not coo man, Wifey…meet me at Ashby Bart.’

‘I’ll b there n 20.’

  I smiled and flipped the BlackBerry Flip shut just as the thought crossed my mind I smiled.  

  It only took two minutes to pull on some sweats, a wife beater and coat.  In another five minutes I was behind the wheel of Spin’s Hummer Two, and at the Ashby Bart Station twenty minutes later.  I pulled into the Ashby Bart’s parking lot looking around hoping to catch a glimpse of the hoe.  

  I drove around a little looking for the bitch but saw no one.  All the cars parked around the lot looked like they were empty.  Fifteen minutes had passed and I wondered whether the bitch was gonna show up or not, there was no text message or anything.  She was late.  There were so many cars parked around the parking lot of the Ashby Bart Station.  

‘Is that you?’

  I looked down at the text and then looked around nervously.  The windows were limo tented, so I know she couldn’t see me even if she were looking at the car, but still I was feeling some type of way.  

‘U here?’

‘I ben here.  I’m n my car n da bak.’

I started the engine and did a round around the Bart’s parking lot.  In the back not necessarily stopped but parked-near a curb far from the other cars-was a black Ferrari with tented windows on eighteens.  Heart pounding I let the car roll slowly towards the Ferrari.  As the headlights lit up the little sports car and shone into the car through the driver’s window which was down my scarcely beating heart stopped…

  I don’t know when my equilibrium returned because the anger and hate I felt blinded me with red as I stared at Clair…  

Chapter 37

“When can we call the girls in?” Tamekia asked Janell.

  “Look, Shi agreed to help.  We might still need them in place,” Janell reasoned.

  “Why?  They ain’t gonna testify,” Tamekia asked.

  “True, but what if Shi needs help or gets into trouble?”  Having them close by is good.”

  Tamekia rolled her eyes.  She did not like not having her girls around.  Helen was her only company and Helen in large doses was not a good thing.  She had Tamekia on edge and wanting to blow some shit up, literally.  Tamekia needed some action.  Helen-though she was kept as far as possible away from Shi and the girls-even had more action than she did.  Tamekia was supposed to be in the thick of it.  She was supposed to be in Shi’s position.  

  Tamekia sat on the couch, Helen was lying on the coffee table staring up at the ceiling.

  “Tam, we’re trying to get you in there okay, we just ain’t found a good role for you yet.”

  “Or me?” Helen asked.

  “Helen if you hadn’t of killed K.C., stabbed and or shot Rodney and Daniel or introduced yourself after shooting Spencer in the leg then…maybe,” Janell answered.  

  Helen shrugged and kept staring into space.  Tamekia was about to say something when Janell’s phone rang.

  “Hello… uh huh… really?” she was smiling at Tamekia.  “Okay, I think Tamekia would love to… Alright, she’ll see you tomorrow.”  Janell was all cheeses when she hung up the phone.  “Remember when Shi caught Spencer with the maid?”  Tamekia sighed as if bored with the subject and nodded.  “Well, she’s never been replaced,” Janell finished.  Tamekia slowly smiled as she thought of what Janell was telling her.  “That was Shi and she just gave Spencer the okay to hire another maid because the house work is falling behind and she needs help.”

  “When do I start?” Tamekia asked. 

  Janell shook her head, “It’s not that easy.  You got to interview first.  Your interview is tomorrow with Spencer.”

  Tamekia smiled wondering what she was going to wear to her interview.  

Chapter 38

Spin was surprised when Shi told him they needed another maid.  But then he understood why when she told him to fire Terri-which she should not have had to tell him to do.  Spin had been fucking Terri while Shi was at work and enjoying himself.  Terri and Shi seem to be cool and Spin thought that she wouldn’t expect him to be fucking her too.  But there it was, he would leave early, before Shi got up and go out and chill until it was time for Shi to go to work.  He would double back to the house and wait for Terri to show up.  

  Spin was even more surprised when Shi said she didn’t have time to find a new maid and it was up to him to do the hiring and interviews.  But Shi wasn’t stupid.  Not only did she leave firing Terri up to him but she made the list of interviewees.  She had picked the people he was supposed to interview which made him think maybe somehow Shi knew or had a feeling what was going on with him and Terri though she never said anything about it.

  No matter, firing Terri would not stop him from runnin’ threw her every once in a while.

  Spin interviewed three people in under three minutes.  They were so unattractive, plain and boring.  One was ancient looking, the other blah and the last was just a straight no.   Spin wondered where exactly Shi found them and if she had a purpose for the women she chose.  There were a total of five that he had to interview.  He’d ran through the first three quickly and there were two more left.  Spin was just gonna hire the last one on the list.  He had no reason why he didn’t hire or consider the first three other than the way they looked.  They had good resumes and experience, better than C.C. and Terri.  Shi had checked each of them out and he knew that if he didn’t pick one she’d go crazy or at the very least know why he didn’t hire one.  He knew it was a test and he was gonna pass.

  As the fourth person sat down Spin thought I’ve fucked ugly bitches before.  But not an old ugly bitch.  His standards were high especially since he had money.  I’d let her boss me up he thought looking at the flat chested white woman in front of him.  She’s sort of sexy in a Mary Poppins kind of way he thought smiling at the woman to hide his laugh.

  He asked generic questions about her experience and allowed her to talk as he zoned out.  He sat there eyes glazed over as it hit him.  He wouldn’t hire any of them and blame it on trust.  He’d tell Shi he didn’t trust them and that there was something about them.  

  Smiling he interrupted her, “Ma’am I like you.  Let me talk it over with my wife.  She picked your name, so I don’t think it’ll be an issue.  We’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Thank you,” the woman smiled looking surprised and excited.  

  One moe hoe left.  This should take a second he thought as he called, “Next.”

  He was staring down at the last resume.  

  “Rita Santos,” he said to himself as she walked in.  

  Rita he thought.  He knew that name from somewhere.  He was trying to put a face to the name when he looked up and froze.  He remembered Rita, had seen her often and if she hadn’t kept vanishing he would have been lumped her up.

  Rita was caramel with a beautiful face of soft features.  Her eyes had a slight slant to them showing signs that she was mixed with some type of Asian.  And there she was standing in front of him in a French maid’s uniform.  Her black hair cascaded down to the middle of her back.  She had on six inch black stilettos.  Her walk was sexy as she strolled over to the chair and sat in front of Spin’s desk with a big smile. 

  “Hey Spin,” she said.  Her voice had an annoying uneducated black girl kinda tone.  The kind where she spoke and half the words that came out of her mouth were either pronounced wrong or said in the wrong context.  But Rita was bad, the voice would take some getting use to but she was still bad.  Besides she didn’t need to talk during sex or with a dick in her mouth.  

  Spin couldn’t help but think that Rita’s presence was a trick, some sort of trap laid by Shi.  But then he realized that Shi knew Rita and from what he remembered they were cool.  That was probably why she was on the list.  Smiling at Rita Spin began to feel that he was being paranoid thinking this whole thing with getting a new maid was a set up by Shi.  She was really trying to find a new maid and picking the best people for the job.

  Spin looked down at Rita’s resume to bullshit and act like it was an interview.

  “So you’ve worked for the Marriott?” 

  Rita shook her head, “No, that’s my sister’s resume.  I just copied it and put my name on it because I didn’t have one.”

  Spin laughed.  “What do you know about housekeeping?”

  Rita shrugged, “Well, my apartment stay pretty clean, but I don’t know about cleanin’ up afta no people.”

  Spin just smiled thinking then why are you here bitch?  He nodded and sat back as if thinking of more questions.  Whether she could clean or not, he didn’t care.  There was only one skill he was hoping she had.  Hell he’d teach her how to clean if not do it his damn self.  

  “Look Rita, I’m a business man and…” he said, then stopped wondering how exactly he was going to say what he wanted to say.  “I need secrecy.  Can you keep a secret?”  

  Rita gave him a seductive look and lifted her leg exposing red panties.  She crossed it with a smile.  “I am a secret,” she said biting her lip.

Chapter 39

December the nineteenth had me swamped.  I had so much going on with Christmas shopping and the party to plan and then the New Year’s party right after that.  It all relieved me.  Clair had been on my mind constantly.  I couldn’t even enjoy the Thanksgiving party I was throwing.  I was trippin’ so much that I called the whole thing off and dipped out to Bakersfield to enjoy Thanksgiving with the Richards.  I told Vicky and everyone I invited that it was off because I wasn’t feeling good, so that was taken care of.  Spin… I told him that I wasn’t feelin’ a Thanksgiving party and that I was going to go to visit some friend in Virginia for Thanksgiving.  

  Luckily his ass didn’t question me or say anything about it.  It might have been when I told him that I booked us both tickets and that we’d be gone for a week that he didn’t like.  I knew he hated surprises like that and knew that he would make up some lie about not going.  I was right.  He said that he was gonna go spend it with his family in the ATL seeing as we wouldn’t be having our first Thanksgiving in the house like he supposedly told his mom.  I know so many holes in that and I didn’t give a dam.  I just packed me a bag and up and left.    

  When I got back home the next day the house had a weird stuffy kind of feel like no one had been there in a long time.  If I really cared I would have called his momma to confirm Spin’s story but I didn’t, I didn’t even care if he stayed in the house with some hoe for Thanksgiving.  I could care less.

  All the stress of Christmas coming was a welcomed distraction.  I had to get back on the ball with setting Spin up, so I asked our new maid Rita if she would move in for a few weeks to help out a little more.  She was glad to and Spin was glad to have her there.    

  Spin’s family was arriving on the twentieth.  It was all hectic and I was getting nervous about handing Spin over to the dogs.  

  The week that I got back from Thanksgiving and Spin was M.I.A. Vicky and I spent the weekend searching the whole big ass house top to bottom.  And yes, Spin had a stash, multiple stashes actually.  He had over two million hidden around the house.  The nigga even had money hidden in cars.  I took a note from Kira and did not take it all, just some.  I rounded it down to the tenth and was gone.  The least I took from one stash was twenty g’s.  All together I had seven hundred thousand.  Right, and I didn’t give a fuck if he knew money was missing, shit his ass probably didn’t even remember where all the stashes were and how much was there.  Regardless, I dared the nigga to step to a bitch and ask.  Like Kira would have done I woulda went bad on the nigga.

  I got a safety deposit box in King’s name.  We were gonna put it in Vicky’s name but then what Janell said hit me.  What if they looked into her?  I mean she was my best.  Besides something was telling me not to.

  With a little sex and finesse I was handed the black card on the twelfth.  Coincidentally that was also the same day that our new maid Rita was set to move in.

  Five million in seven days gotta be a motha fuckin’ record somewhere.  But it didn’t matter, he had it.  

  I Christmas shopped and bought all my Shi Girls new cars.  I got them all Toyota’s because the maintenance was cheap and reasonable.  I bought Vicky a 2010 Jetta which we drove off the lot with title in hand.  I was fixed to buy a damn house, but I didn’t find one that tickled my fancy.  Y’all think I’m playing, a bitch was hittin’ em up style especially with the F.B.I. getting ready to make their move.  Vicky and I hit up the jewelry stores and when I got done I thought I’d swiped the strip off the back of that damn card.  The shit was fading and you could see the marks from all the times it’d been swiped.  After those seven early days of Christmas Vicky and I was so iced out we had frost bite.  I spent two million on just us.  Most of that was due to custom jewelry.

  The same little people that did my Halloween party was doing the Christmas and New Year’s parties.  The Christmas party alone was costing a hundred racks.  All the decorations and shit were a quarter mill.

  I know y’all like whatever, but shit, money goes fast especially when you don’t look at prices and have a credit card which had an infinite limit.  Also it helped when you didn’t pay taxes and had your fingers dippin’ in and out of multiple ventures which were mostly there to wash the money you didn’t pay taxes on.  Add an offshore bank account to the mix and you accumulate a lot of money.  And y’all already know about credit, whether you got the money or not you do at the moment.  I was waiting for the shit to be declined, hell I was praying for that shit to happen because then I’d put a dent in the nigga.  I wondered how the statement came and how it looked. 

  I was going to fuck up one of Spin’s stashes again, but it was gone.  Yes, gone.  I searched another and it too had vanished.  Yes, straight up gone, no money there at all.  My heart was pounding as I searched the others.  They were all gone.  I knew the nigga knew I’d touched them, I mean why the hell would he move them?  But he hadn’t said anything to me, so I kept my eyes open and did it moving, kept it pushing the best I could without looking over my shoulder.  

  Would he ask me about it?

  I went down to City Bank right before Christmas and paid one hundred and fifty thousand to them for the title to the house of Georgia Patterson.  Her title was my present to her.  I was feeling bad that we still hadn’t found Faye though I’d been looking.  

  On the twentieth I drove to the airport in Spin’s Escalade to pick up his family.  His mother was so excited to see me.  

  I took them home and got my ass away from them A.S.A.P.  I had a heart people, though I shouldn’t have.  I couldn’t stand being around them considering what I was doing and what was going on.  No matter what type of bastard Spin was, they had nothing to do with it.

  I was having a difficult time finding a present for the Richards, but I did my best.  I got them an all-expenses paid round trip ticket to Hawaii.  Dr. Richards had been saying that she wanted to go for a vacation from the hospital she so desperately needed.  I bought the boys new clothes, enough to last them a year.  I got each a PSP, PS3, a forty inch flat screen T.V., a Wii, a Nintendo DS, an X-box 360 and all the games the store had.  A bitch had dropped about two hundred thousand on them.  I’d dropped more than half of that at Best Buy and got my picture taken and placed on the wall.  

  In my spare time I always wondered what else money could buy.  I was trying to see if I could buy snow, because I wanted a white Christmas in the Bay.

Chapter 40

Christmas was beautiful.  Shit, for what I spent it better had been.  

  I had Prada make my Christmas dress and Vicky chose Dolce & Gabbana.  Thirty thou a pop for the dresses and my shoes cost five g’s.  

  We had a large tree, actually multiple trees so that all the presents would fit.  

  I was drinking my non-alcoholic eggnog and working the room when Dr. Richards called.

  “Yello.”

  “Shi?”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “I…” I heard the kids yelling in the background.  “Thank you Shi.”

  I’d paid for someone to dress as Santa, pack the shit I’d bought them in a U-Haul and take it to their place.  They left this afternoon and I guess just got there.  

  “Merry Christmas Doc Rich.”

  She didn’t know what to say.  They were well off and had money but not enough to give the kids the kind of Christmas I just did.  

  “Where is all this money coming from.”

  I knew the question would probably come up and I had a lie already worked out.  “Oh, Spin’s promotions.  All that is comped, the kids are unofficial game testers so tell them I might ask them some questions about one of them video games.”

  “Oh,” she said.  I knew she didn’t believe me though she wasn’t gonna say it.  Hell, I thought it was a good lie. 

  “The clothes are from me, Spin, Vicky and King,” I added trying to make the lie a little more believable.  The silence told me I hadn’t succeeded, so I said, “Look, I’ll call you later Dr. Richards, I gotta go entertain.”

  “Okay, thank you Shi and Merry Christmas.”

  I heard the kids scream, “Merry Christmas,” before she hung up.  

  There was music playing as people walked around the ballroom picking at food and choppin’ it up.  

  “December’s rollin’ ‘round and it’s, nice and cold outside.  It’s been a little while since I last saw your face.”  Yeah, Ne-Yo again.  

  I stood there and sighed thinking about King.  

  “Except for on the T.V. and I’m so proud of you, you’re doing so good.  And I’m not trying to stress you, but it’d be nice to, give you a hug if I could,” Ne-Yo harmonized.  

  King was all up on my brain and listening to those lyrics can you blame me?  

  “Don’t you know that nobody likes to, be alone, on, Christmas time.”

  I was not alone, I was surrounded by lots of people but I felt like I was all alone in the room.

  “And all I really want is you, so, if you don’t mind, could you think about me, and how much I miss you and how long you’ve been gone, and please find your way home,” Ne-Yo sang.

  “Shi.”  I opened my eyes and saw Vicky.  “You okay?”

  I nodded, “Just thinking.”

  I looked around the crowd and saw each member of B.I.T.C.H. minus Helen give me a small little smile and raise their glasses.  I saw Spin’s little niece Keisha and turned, she was attracted to me for some strange reason.  It was annoying and at the moment I couldn’t have her all up on me.  I was on a mission.

  Will was there with his girlfriend a pretty little Mexican and their kids.  He had his eyes glued to me and when I wasn’t in his sight Vicky and when she wasn’t around B.I.T.C.H.  The nigga was checking out every female in the place even the ones that weren’t legal.  

  As I ducked Keisha I made sure he saw me.  We caught eye contact and I moved my head-to tell him to come-and walked into the kitchen.  And he followed.  I waited for him to walk into the kitchen before I walked out the kitchen and headed towards the stairs.  I saw him look around for Spin who was busy getting ready to be Santa for the kids.  

  I led him to one of the guest bedrooms.  It was the only room left since Spin’s family moved in.  I’d set it up especially for him with candles all around the room casting a warm inviting glow.  I was sitting on the bed when he walked in.  After a look around outside to make sure no one was following him he closed and locked the door.  

  Wow, the things guys will do for sex.

  He was easy and there was no prompting.  I mean something is wrong with niggas.  He acted like his family was not down stairs.  He walked over to me on the bed with a smile.  The nigga looked like a fucking predator.

  I had my hand under a pillow holding onto my gun.

  “So Will, you been naughty or nice?”

  He smiled holding onto his dick through his pants.  He was damn near standing over me as he said, “Definitely naughty.”

  My smile dropped as I brought my gun out and pistol whipped his dumb ass.

  He made a muffled oomph sound as he fell.  “What?” he said sounding delirious and surprised.

  “Shut the fuck up!” I hissed in a loud whisper with my gun pressed to his head.

  “Chill Shi I—”

  “Shut, the, fuck, up!” I said slower.  He got the message that time.  “Go lie on the bed, face down and don’t move William.”

  His eyes were huge as he slowly got up holding the side of his head and walked to the bed and laid down face first.

  I went to the nightstand and pulled out a sandwich bag with a chunk of heroin, a shard of crystal and a bit of powder.  I sat that on the nightstand and took out a spoon, needle and lighter.  It took a minute for me to get it on the spoon and melted down.  I sucked it up into the syringe.  

  “Turn over,” I said pulling a tourniquet out of the nightstand.  He rolled over slowly onto his back.  I threw the tourniquet at him.  “I have a little something I want you to try,” I told him with a smile.  “Wrap that around your arm.”

  “I don’t shoot,” he said shaking his head. 

  “And I don’t get raped.”

  “I—”

  “Shhh, or else I’m gonna shoot you in yo’ dick, then your knees, elbows, stick shit under your finger nails…” I waved my hand, so he knew I could go on and on.  I lifted my eyebrow and turned my head to the side as I lifted my gun.  I guess he thought I was playing.  He grabbed the tourniquet and began wrapping the rubber around his arm.

  I pulled back the plunger on the syringe making sure there was air inside and tossed it to him.  “Bon appetit.”

  He picked up the needle and looked at it, then looked at me.  “Why?”

  “I’ll answer your questions later.  Go!”

  He sighed.  Holding the syringe up he tried to push the air out.  I moaned a no type of and shook my head.  

  “But it got air—”

  I smiled, “I know William.”

  I know I’m evil as hell but hey, I gotta right to be.  

  Will slowly looked for a vein and put the needle into his arm.  He looked up at me with wide eyes; sweating.  

  “Is it in the vein?” 

  Will looked scared.  I moved closer to him with the gun still pointed to his head.  

  “I don’t know, I think it is.  Look Shi-”

  I moved quick and with as much precision as I could.  I pushed the plunger on the syringe down knowing I’d probably pushed it through the vein.  

  Will tried to scream, but it was mute.  It caught in his throat and never made it out of his mouth.  I stepped back quickly heart pounding as I looked at the death stare his face was stuck in.  I knew the air was making its way through his veins to his heart.  My breathing was shallow as I smiled watching his eyes roll back into his head.  

  I knew that if the fucking air bubble didn’t do the trick all the dope I had mixed together would.  And shit, if it didn’t then I was gonna leave his ass alone.  If he survived then his ass deserved to live.

  Will began convulsing.  He shook and twisted around for five minutes and then stopped.  I waited another few minutes before I moved forward and checked his pulse.  He was gone.  

  I left the room and returned my gun to the nightstand in my room.  I walked back downstairs and slipped back into the party as Santa passed out gifts.

  “Shi.”  I turned around heart going crazy, I hoped I hadn’t been caught.  It was D-loc.  “Where you been?”  The nigga was higher than the sun.  “We was looking for you so you can-”

  “Daniel, your nose is bleeding,” I interrupted him eyes widening.  

  He touched his fingers to his nose, “Fuck!”  He pinched his nose, held his head up and started walking away.

  I smiled because something told me it wasn’t the coke itself that had his nose bleeding.  With my smile plastered on my face I decided to go and watch Santa give out gifts.

Chapter 41

We were all in bed by three.  The party was over at two, all the presents had been passed out and opened.  All the kids happy with their gifts were scattered around knocked out.  Will had not been discovered though everyone looked for him.  His B.M. was the main one looking for him seeing as he was their ride home and all.  Diamond ended up driving them home in her new car and I slept peacefully in my California King bed with my good ole hubby.

  I know, I was turning into a fucking monster.  I loved the feel of killing or maybe it was revenge that I loved.  I saw why B.I.T.C.H. loved it so much.  I felt I could get use to it though I knew it had to come to an end.  

  That morning, the day after Christmas I woke up to a big surprise.  Parked at the front door was a custom two toned ash black 2010 BMW with white walled tires on twenty’s.  The windows had an illegal limo tent which I knew was gonna get my ass taxed by the po-pos.  

  When I saw it I ran to the car and opened the door.  A bitch almost nutted on herself at the sight of the leather interior.  I was in my pj’s and I didn’t care about how I looked.  Shit I hadn’t even brushed my teeth.  I hopped my ass in and started her up and cut out with no license on me.  All I had was my cellphone.  I was headed to San Jo, I had to show Vicky this shit.  

  I had my beat in it.  The inside was all black.  Truth be told the inside was like all the other Beemers, the only difference was my name in the seats.  I really only spent all that money on the outside of the car.  

  I was on 280 when my phone rang.  

  “Hello,” I answered in a musical voice happy as hell with my car.

  “Shi,” the voice was flat and calm.  The solemn tone sent a chill down my spine which was fucking with the high I was feeling.  I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the caller ID.  Yeah, it was Sista Patterson.  

  “Yes ma’am,” I said determined not to let her ruin my good spirits.  I would go look for Faye after I showed Vicky my new ride.  Shit, I’d look for her all night because I planned to put some miles on my new baby.

  “Thank you but you don’t have to look for Faye anymore.”

  There was something in her voice that chilled me when what I should have been feeling was relief from not having to go looking for Faye.

  “Oh, okay, did you find her?” I asked more out of being polite than really caring.  I mean if she told me I didn’t have to look anymore she must have found her, Faye must have come home.

  “The police did,” Sista Patterson said and I thought I found out what it was about her voice that was getting to me.  She was disappointed.

  Fuck, I couldn’t believe Faye was in jail though I knew she was heading down that path.  I couldn’t help but wonder what she’d got arrested for.  Probably prostitution or some drug charge.

  “What did she do?” I asked to satisfy my curiosity.  

  “They found her in Lake Merritt.”

  I was silent.  Did she just say, ‘In?’

   “Ma’am?” I asked completely lost.

  “She’s gone, Shi…” Sista Patterson said and her voice faded out on me with the sounds of the world.  It felt like I’d been hit in the stomach as I swerved almost totaling my new baby.

  Fatima was dead?

Chapter 42

I sat in Spin’s Hummer 2 across the street from Kevin’s and waited.  I had my glock in my lap.  I had Love Is Blind by Eve on repeat.  I had my phone off and was just sitting; waiting.  I was in gangsta mode.  I was Shiesty Shi.  I had a du-rag on my head, and I waited.

  No one came or left the house all day.  I felt my stomach rumbling telling me I was hungry, but I didn’t leave.  Shit, I couldn’t eat, there was a ball in my stomach that wouldn’t leave.  I saw several cops pass by and it didn’t faze me at all.  If it was a sign I ignored it.

  I was staying there waiting for the nigga and I didn’t care how long it took.  I’d been there for damn near twelve hours when I finally saw him.  He was walking across the street to the house with some girl.  

  The new Faye I thought. 

  He didn’t see me as I jumped out the car and moved quickly as Eve played in my mind.  I didn’t speak, I had nothing to say.  I just aimed for the back of his knee and pulled the trigger.  The kick didn’t faze me.  

  The girl screamed.  I ran up and slapped the bitch with my gun and she fell to the ground screaming.  She was high, her screams were lazy.  Kevin was screaming as he grabbed at his knee.  

  I stood over him and he looked up at me eyes widening.  

  “Prayin’ to me now, I ain’t God but I’ll pretend, I ain’t start yo’ life but nigga I’ma bring it to an end,” Eve’s words went through my head.  

  Kevin was crying, “Please, no, please no.  I, I didn’t do anything.  I don’t know where she is, I swear.” 

  I stared into his eyes, I wanted him to see in mine.  I shot him in his other leg and he screamed even louder at the top of his lungs.  The girl was hollering too.  I shot her in her chest silencing her.  I turned back to Kevin, “She’s dead!” I yelled over him.

  He stopped screaming for a moment.  His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to scream again even louder knowing his fate.  I emptied the gun into him saving the last bullet for his head.

  I looked at his body for a few seconds and then turned and walked back to the car.  My work was done.  Surprisingly, I heard no sirens nor did I change my pace.  I wouldn’t have if I did hear sirens.  I got back in the car as Eve rapped.

  “And I did, clear shots and no regrets, never, cops comin’ lock me under the jail.  Nigga whateva my bitch, fuck it my sister.  You could never figure out even if I let you live what our love was all about, I consider her my blood and it don’t come no thicker…Love is blind, and it’ll take over my mind.  What you think is love, is truly not, you need to elevate and find.  Love is blind…”

  And I wouldn’t let it take over my mind.      

Chapter 43

Vicky and I were sitting in the office.  It was New Year’s Eve and I’d planned to go with Spin to meet up with an officer on his payroll.  I was trying to take an active hand in his business so I could help get information for the feds.  My purse was wired like a motha fucka and then at the last second, Spin wouldn’t let me go.  Then he insisted on dropping me off at work instead of letting me just drive my car.

  “Do you think he knows?” Vicky asked and I nodded.  “But how?  Who all knows?”

  “You, King, Janell, B.I.T.C.H. and some of the feds…  Shit Vick I don’t know.”

  “So you think someone’s feeding Spin information?” she asked and I nodded.  “Who?”

  “I don’t know Vick!”  I was getting pissed off at all the damn questions.  

  How the hell was I supposed to know who all knew and who was giving him information?

  “But they’re going to have to hurry the hell up and get it together.  I don’t need him hounding me.”

  Vicky looked nervous.  “Why don’t you ask King to come down?”

  I sighed, “Vicky, King has a family and—”

  She was shaking her head.  “He didn’t tell you?”

  “What?”

  “They ain’t been together fo’ about a year now.  She took the baby and left.”

  “Why?

  “You.”

  I had nothing to say.  I didn’t understand.  “What do you mean?”

  “He was spending too much time on you.”

  “Why didn’t he tell me?”

  Vicky shrugged.  “You were too busy…” she let the rest hang and I knew what she was not saying.  Vicky shrugged again.  “Shi, call him or I will.”

  I nodded.  I did not feel like having the New Year’s party I’d had planned.  It was all too much for me.  Fatima… it was all just too much.  I’d almost had a few major break downs but a few talks with Dr. Richards and my latest killing spree dealt with a lot of anger.  Murder is the ultimate anger manager and I am not condoning it, but it is easier than you think.  

  How people got caught I had no idea.  Then again I was trained by the best, regardless of how sloppy Kevin’s murder was.  Though it was dark me and the ride I was in was seen.  Yet, and still there were no leads, and it was looked at as a drug deal gone bad.

  I still had to help plan Fatima’s funeral, of course I was paying for it.  With my money, not Spins.  

  I gave Vicky and the crew time off and they seemed to get over it.  But not me.  I ended up faking sick during the New Year’s party.  Sista Washington attempted to come and stay with me, but I told her to enjoy her New Years. 

  I was visited in the room by Vicky and Ari.  “Shi, I hope you feel better,” Ari said.  “But tomorrow you need to meet with Eash and Silva so they can take you through your testimony and what you’ll need to say… we’ve kept you out long enough but now they gonna need a testimony for the grand jury.”  

  I nodded indifferently.  

  “Tomorrow, Starbucks in Hayward off Fruitvale; nine a.m.”

  I nodded again and she was gone.  

  I was alone in bed for few minutes just looking at the wall when I heard a knock on the door.  I didn’t respond.  The door opened and King walked in.  I was shocked to see him, when I saw him I almost ran to him.  But I stayed in the bed.

  He climbed in bed with me and I could care less if Spin saw us.  I was holding back tears.  I was in such a fucked up place.  

  “I’m sorry,” I said.  

  King knew what to say and when to say it.  He knew how to hold me and I missed it so much.  I needed him, I loved him.  I wanted him and I couldn’t wait for it all to be over.  Maybe when Spin went to jail I’d be able to finally be with him.

  “It’s okay Shi…”

  “I don’t know-”

  He shhhed me.  I thought of the Ne-Yo song I Call Your Name.  Then I remembered his other song In the Way.  “King,” I said.  We were in the dark in my big bed.  We were fully dressed, I was laying in his lap, holding on.  I loved him so much and I needed him to love me too.  I needed him to say it.  I needed to hear it.  But I probably wouldn’t so I let it go.

  “Hmm?” he said.

  “I heard a song that reminded me of us.”

  “Really?” 

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s it called?”

  “In the Way?”

  “Who sings it?”

  “Ne-Yo.”

  “How’s it go?” 

  I shrugged, “I don’t know it’s about-”

  “No, sing it.”

  “Huh?”  I was no singer, like at all.  “Sing it.”

  I slowly went through the first verse and chorus.  I broke down when I started the second verse as I thought about how we use to be and how the song was so true.  

  “And now we’re in the same state, but I be in the studio working extra late…  Five in the morning; finally I get to leave, I’m coming home to you.  But by the time I get there you’re already fast asleep.

  “And I don’t like it, no this ain’t cool.  Feelin’ like somethin’, just don’t want me with you… the world, keeps getting’ in the way.  Tryin’ to get to you, but it seems like, everyday it’s somethin’ new.  Baby the world, keeps getting in the way.  With you is where I wanna be, but it just won’t let me, ‘cause it keeps gettin’ in the way…”

  I was not about to try and hit nah high note.  I left it at that and smiled when I felt the single drop land on my temple.

Chapter 44

King left at some point when I’d fallen asleep.  I had not felt him leave, however, since his exit was silent I guessed Spin had not caught him in the bed with me.  

  When I woke up it was to the strange feeling of my husband next to me snoring away.  I got out of the bed feeling blah and went to take a shower.  I was fucking depressed.  

  I put on my clothes and stood in front of my vanity.  I was looking in the mirror.  The beautiful woman staring out at me was a stranger.  Scheyenne?  Shi?  Shiesty Shi?  

Who the fuck was I?

  And what happened to the little girl I used to be?  I knew she was dead, she had to be.  If she was there then why was it so hard to see her as I searched for her in the mirror.

  It was not the makeup, arched eyebrows or full figure that changed the most.  It was my eyes.  I was staring into the eyes of a stranger.  The color of my eyes seemed to be off.  I couldn’t remember the color they were supposed to be.  I couldn’t even remember what I was supposed to look like.  I was wondering where I was going to find a picture when I saw it.  I swear, the out of sight, out of mind thing is crucial.  I was staring at the only plain non-iced out piece of jewelry I owned.  I’d taken it off a long time ago for something new.  I remembered reasoning that it was just for the night; I needed to take it off for the look I needed.  

  I touched the now grey chain and felt a shiver go down my spine.  I looked up in the mirror and saw Free standing behind me.  I didn’t turn around because I knew he wasn’t really there.  I swallowed keeping my eyes on him as I opened the clasp on the necklace.  I brought the chain around my neck and clipped it there and he smiled.  

  Standing in the mirror with my brother and his heart over mine I felt a little boost of strength.  

  I can do this, I’m ready.

  I was going to do what I had to do to find out the truth about my family, to complete what I started.

  “Where you goin’?”  Free was gone.  I turned around and looked at Spin.  He had not moved from bed or even opened his eyes it seemed.

  “I’m goin’ to the shop,” I lied going to the bed and grabbing my purse from the side of my nightstand.  

  “I thought y’all was gonna be closed,” he said.

  He was right.  I closed up today because of the potential hangovers from New Years and what not.  

  “We are, and yes I feel a lot better thank you for asking,” I said with an attitude walking to the door.  “If you must know, I like it when no one is there.  It’s quiet, it’s also still the first of the month, I got to get the bills and shit  together…”  I was trying to keep the attitude so the questions would stop.  “Why?” I asked taking over the role of interrogator.  

  “Just askin’…”

  “You asked fo’ a reason Spin, and as a matter of fact why you been hounding me lately?”  I had the hands on the hips.  He’d been distant and more secretive over the last two weeks.  I thought maybe he was creeping again, but it was something else.  It started with him not taking me with him to meet his connect with the cops.  

  Spin sighed and slowly got out of bed.  He walked to me and got real close.  He reached and moved my bang out of my face.

  “Shi,” he looked me deep in my eyes.  “Are you setting me up?”

  My heart stopped.  I had to say something and quick, but words were failing me.  My mind was racing and I was thinking of something to say, anything.  But I couldn’t help thinking about how he knew and that I was busted.  Had he seen me?  I’d been careful.  I decided to play stupid.

  I stepped back, “Ain’t this some shit?”  He looked calm, not angry or even confused.  “So, because you can’t keep yo’ shit between yo’ legs and cheated on me, yes, you, not Shi cheated on Spin, but Spencer cheated on Shi.  So because yo’ ole nasty ass can’t keep yo’ dick out of some otha’ fish you gonna accuse me of cheating.”  Oh, a bitch could act.  I was goin’ in.  

  He lifted his eyebrows and looked hella lost and I was relieved.  That’s what I wanted.  Then the nigga smiled and started to laugh.  

  “Nigga what’s so funny?”  I think I been moe than kind by staying.  I knew I shoulda divorced yo’ sorry ass!”

  “Yo’ ass ain’t goin’ nowhere, you got it good,” he said smiling.

  “Nigga what?  Yeah, I do but a bitch don’t need yo’ ass to carry me.  I was doin’ just fine without you,” I yelled turning to leave but he grabbed me.  “Let me go.”

  “No, com ‘ere,” he said spinning me around and hugging me.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean you was creepin’ Shi.”

  “Then what Spin?” I asked trying to get out of his embrace, but he held tight.

  “It’s just…” he sighed.  “Shi I love you.”

  “I love you too Spin,” I spat back.

  “I’ve been betrayed by a lot of niggas and this… us… it’s new to me.”

  “It’s new to me too Spin.  I ain’t been married before, I ain’t even been in a relationship this long.  You was my first.”

  He nodded.  “I just don’t want you to cross me,” he said hugging me and rocking back and forth.  I allowed it hoping he could not feel my heart pounding.  “Because it’d be bad and my gangsta is fo’ them niggas and bitches out ther’, it ain’t fo’ my baby.”  I swallowed hard praying he didn’t hear it or sense my nervousness.  “I’m just trippin’.  I need to stop listenin’ to other niggas, I know.  Shi you would never cross me right?”

  He broke our embrace so that he could look into my eyes.  

  My hand absentmindedly touched my heart and I said, “You shouldn’t have to ask.”

Chapter 45

Helen was following the burgundy scraper as it followed the two toned B.M.W.  

   Her job was simply to watch who came and went from Spin City on New Year’s so that they could be identified along with the major players in Spin’s drug cartel.  She became bored around eleven and decided to take it a step further and penetrate Spin City.  She scaled the wall and began familiarizing herself with the grounds.  After growing tired of that she went to the Hummer two and fell asleep in the backseat.  

  When she woke up and climbed back into the driver’s seat she saw Shi drive out of the gates and leave.  A few seconds later she noticed the scraper creeping by her.  She didn’t think anything of it until she realized the scraper was sticking with them.  Just to be sure Helen sped up and cut it off.  It didn’t honk but did it’s best to get back in front of her, even ran a red light. 

  Excited Helen decided she would take care of it.  Reaching under the passenger seat as she tried to keep an eye on the road she pulled out an Uzi.  Driving with one hand she sat it in her lap then reached for the glove compartment.  

  “Bullets?  Bullets?  Bullets?” she sighed seeing no clip.  She thought it was her being responsible by not leaving the gun and bullets in the same place.  So the kids don’t get hurt she thought to herself with a smile lifting up the arm rest and finding the two extended clips.  

  Driving with her knee she placed the clip in the gun.   

  Ready to invoke the full power of the Hemi Brittany’s nagging voice came into her head.  “Helen!  What are you doing?” it said.

  Sighing she pressed a button on the stereo.  

  “Who would you like to call?” a British woman’s voice boomed over the stereo system.

  She thought about who she should call.  She could try Shi and warn her, but she didn’t know if her number was programmed though she knew they had Shi’s number somewhere.  When she thought about it Shi would not be who she’d have to hear nagging her about accidentally killing someone, again, again.

  “Brittany,” Helen said loudly.  There was a dialing sound and then the car was filled with ringing as she patiently waited following Shi and the scraper.  Brittany’s voicemail picked up and Helen sighed.  Brittany was still undercover and didn’t have her cell phone with her.  The cellphone she did have was Ari's, and Helen had no idea what that number was since she did not have a cellphone nor was she undercover with the girls.  

  She pressed the button again realizing none of the girls would answer their old phones.  The woman asked who she would like to call again.  

  “Janell,” Helen said growing impatient.  There was a dialing sound and then ringing.  The phone rang three times before Janell picked up.

  “Hello,” Janell’s voice came through the speakers.

  “Hey Janell, Helen here.”

  “Hel, Hello Helen,” Janell said sounding unsure.  “Where are you?”

  “Oh, just joy riding.”

  “Helen would joy riding include anyone getting hurt or you with a gun?”

  Helen looked down at the Uzi in her lap.  “Janell!” she said in a shocked tone.  “You know me better than that.”

  Janell sighed.  Helen watched as the scraper followed Shi onto the freeway.

  “What’s up Helen?”

  Helen smiled, “Nothing much.  How’s the morning so far?”

  Janell was silent for a beat before she said, “Pretty good so far and yours?”

  “You know, you had one morning you’ve had them all.  Anyways, I was wondering is Shi still supposed to be meeting with ‘Eash and Saliva?”

  “His name is Silva Helen and yes.  Why?”

  “Just making conversation,” Helen said casually.  “Oh, does any of the boys have someone following her to said meeting?”

  “What?”

  “In a burgundy Chevy license plate 307EF48?”

  “Huh?  Helen where are you?”

  “I’m getting on 280.”

  “Okay?”

  “Well they’re following Shi, and it looks like she’s going to Hayward.”

  Janell cursed.  “Who?  Hold on Helen.”

  “I’ll hold,” Helen said.

  Janell was back on the line within the minute.  “Tavonte said no one should be following her.”

  “Hmm, so what should I do?”

  “Who’d be following her?”

  “Janell would you please call Brittany.  I don’t have the other number and I need to find out what to do.”

  “I’ll call her and call you back.”

  “Three way, I’ll hold.”

  Janell sighed and Helen waited.  They were getting closer to Hayward.

  “Yeah, Helen?”

  “Yep,” Helen answered staring at the car.

  “Brit- Ari,” Janell said.

  “Yeah,” Brittany said.  

  Helen smiled.  “I’m following a car and it’s following Shi.”

  “Where?” Brittany asked.

  “280.”

  “Shit!” Brittany said and then she began talking to someone in the background.  “Charika’s car broke down,” she said to someone in her background.  “I’ll be right back.”  And she was back on the line.  “Who’s following her?”

  “Burgundy scarper on dubs,” Helen said smiling at her lingo.  “License plate number 307EF48.  Hey their tags are expired.”

  “Does Shi know?” Brittany asked.

  “I don’t know but if she does she need to let them know because if they get pulled over they could get their car taken.”

  “No Helen,” Brittany sighed.  

  “Helen, does Shi know she’s being followed?” Janell asked.

  “Oh, I don’t know.  Call her, we’ll hold.”

  Janell was silent before she clicked over.  A second later she was back, “Hello.”

  “Hello.”

  “Shi,” Brittany said.

  “Yeah, who’s this?  Janell?”

  “And Helen and Brittany.  Hey Shi,” Helen said.

  “Huh?  Where are y’all?”

  “I’m behind the car following you.”

  “What?”

  “Shi, look behind you.  Do you know who that is?” Brittany asked.

  “No, I… should I?” She said.  “How long they been following me?”

  “We been following you fo’ like ten minutes now,” Helen said.

  “Fuck!  Um, what do I do?”

  “Who’s’ following you?”

  “I don’t know.  I think Spin probably got his people on me.”

  “Why?” Janell and Brittany asked together.  

  “I don’t know, this morning he asked me if I was setting him up.”

  “What?” Brittany and Janell asked together.

  “She said he asked, ‘was she setting him up?’” Helen said loudly.

  “Thanks Helen,” Janell said sarcastically.  “How would he know?”

  “Maybe his police contacts.”

  “No, they wouldn’t know.”

  “Okay, guys what do I do?  You still want me to go to Starbucks?” Shi asked.

  “No!” Janell and Brittany said simultaneously.  

  “Um, go to Vicky’s,” Brittany said.  

  “Just let them follow me?” Shi asked.

  “No,” Helen said feeling left out the conversation.  

  “What do I do?”

  “When I say so switch lanes, fast.”

  “Helen,” Brittany said.

  “Don’t worry.  Trust me Ari.”

  “Fuck!  Helen be careful.” 

  “We need to see who’s following her.  Shi do you see me?”  Helen drove past both cars in the lane next to them and waved as Shi as she went by.  She couldn’t see into Shi’s car and Shi couldn’t see through the tint on the Hummer but still Helen waved as if she could.  “Shi, I’m going 115, you go 110.”  Helen was in front of Shi going 115 miles per hour.  The road was clear, probably because of the time of day and New Year’s passing.

  “They’re speeding up.”

  “Good,” Helen said.  “Brittany you have insurance?”

  “You know I do… why?  Helen, what are you going to do?”

  Helen put her seatbelt on.  “Now Shi!” she yelled slamming on the brakes and bracing herself for the impact. 

  The impact wasn’t that bad for her.  Her neck jerked and the car skidded forward to a stop.  They were in the fast lane.  Horns were blaring as Helen jumped out the Hummer.  

  “You crazy bitch, what the fuck?”

  She was staring at a tall and fat black man.  The Uzi was behind her back and traffic was detouring around the accident.  

  She flashed a shy smile and then flipped her hair.  She was in a sundress and flip flops.  The entire front end of the scraper was gone.  The back of the Hummer was surprisingly okay.  Since it was a high speed collision in which both cars were going around the same speed the momentum cushioned the impact.  The man’s head was bleeding and Helen knew he was hyped up on adrenaline.  Once she was within reaching distance of him she showed the Uzi.

  “Who sent you?  And before you lie please have a seat in the car.”

  He was shaking his head as he got back into the car.  

  “Spin, they asked me to follow his wife.”

  Helen closed the car door.  “Because you were honest and I didn’t have to shoot you for an answer you get to live—” she said.

  “Thank you, thank you,” he sighed.

  “—in a wheel chair,” Helen finished as she pointed the Uzi at his stomach knowing where his spine was and let off a little spurt.  “Tell Spin Helen said, ‘hi.’”  She turned away just as a nosey ass do-gooder stopped behind the scraper to help.  She saw an officer on the other side of the freeway and knew he was coming to see what was going on.  

  “I need a diversion,” Helen said to herself.  She pointed the Uzi at the back of the do-gooders car.  The Uzi sounded like a chainsaw and was muffled by the traffic.  The do-gooder was getting out of his Toyota when the car exploded and he flew over the center divider dividing north and south bound traffic.

  Helen was walking back to the Hummer as the sound of screeching tires and horns met her ears.

  “Helen!  Helen!” Brittany and Janell were calling.

  “I’m back,” she said pulling recklessly into traffic and driving away fast.  

Chapter 46

Fatima’s funeral was January the tenth.  She had large amounts of heroin in her system.  She’d been shot in the back of the head but drowned to death.  Just like Kevin’s murder it was unsolved.  

  The service was held at Sista Patterson’s house.  I felt bad that I’d used Faye’s funeral for a meeting place, but Spin was not coming to the funeral nor had anyone followed me.  

  Vicky sat next to me and I’esha and Silva as they explained exactly what they needed me to do.  

  In two weeks I would receive all the paperwork and evidence that had been illegally obtained against my husband and go with it along with my best friend and lawyer to the F.B.I.  The story was that I knew my husband was into some shady shit but mostly I kept out of his business affairs.  After years of snooping I’d come across some very incriminating evidence.  The reason I was coming forward was because-I’esha told me to, so that-I wasn’t implemented in his crimes and most of all because he cheated on me.  Yes, the old woman scorned act.  After that the investigations would begin and I was acting as if nothing was going on.  In the process of the investigations I’d come up with the papers and other evidence on him.  I was told I’d be in to see a grand jury by the end of February.  If everything went smoothly that was.

  Vick had way more questions than I did.  Most of the time I stayed silent and played with my heart.  

  After the burial I called King and told him about the meeting.  He told me he was near if I needed him, all I needed to do was call.

  When I got home Spin was there with D-loc and Rod.  D-loc was still sniffin’ his life away and I was thinking of other ways to put more glass in his coke.  Rod, oh, I was gone find a way to deal with him.  I still needed revenge.  I walked into his office and spoke to everyone. 

  “Babe, sit down.”  I sat on the desk acting like I wasn’t concerned.  “We’ve been talkin’ and I’ve got a lot of inside information.  It’s gettin’ hot and I done been here long enough up on top.”  I lifted my eyebrow.  “Remember a means?”  What was the nigga sayin’?  “Tell me,” he pulled out some envelops.  “Where do you want to spend the rest of our lives?  I’m thinking the Virgin’s.”

  I was looking at about a dozen plane tickets to various destinations.  What got me was they were all dated for the twenty fifth.  

  “Our late anniversary gift.”

  My mouth dropped open.  He was trying to get out the game.  Fuck!

  “You can think about it.  But, start packing,” he told me and I was dismissed.  

  What the fuck? I thought taking the tickets to our room.  I decided to make a detour by Will’s mausoleum.  I was expecting his dead body to still be there since I’d heard nothing about it.  I opened the door and saw nothing at all.  No body, no candles.  The room was clean.  Had Spin found his body and cleaned up?  Had he found the body and not told me?

  “What are you doing?”

  I jumped.  I turned to see Tamekia.  I looked around for someone, grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the room.

  “We have a problem, he’s planning to skip country.”

  Tamekia’s mouth dropped as I showed her the tickets.  She grabbed her phone and began dialing.  I did the same.  I couldn’t leave.  Not just because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him either.  There was finding out what happened to my family, King and I couldn’t forget about Vicky.  Worst case I could always take Vicky with me of course. 

  The phone rang and Vicky’s line beeped after each ring, she was not answering.  I was forwarded to voicemail.  

  “Yeah, right here,” Tamekia was saying when my phone rang.  

  “Vick?”

  “Whaz good?”

  “Why you ain’t answering?”

  “I was in the shower.”

  I knew she was lying, her line was beeping which meant she was on the other line.  I let it go and told her about Spin trying to leave.  I was getting ready to tell her about the tickets when the door opened.  

  “What y’all doing?” Spin asked.

Chapter 47

Caught red motha fuckin’ handed.  Slowly we both lowered our phones.  

  Spin looked pissed.  I looked at Tamekia and she was looking at Spin.  I saw her hand moving to her pocket and I knew Spin was dead, the thing was I couldn’t let that happen yet.  

  “We was talkin’,” I said my mind racing for what to say next.  I knew he was going to ask what about.

  “I see that much.  What were you talkin’ about?”

  I was stuck, staring at him.  My heart was pounding.  I looked at Tamekia and the idea came to me and I did it before she could pull out whatever was in her pocket.  I grabbed Tamekia and stuck my tongue down her throat.  

  Okay, I ain’t a dike and a kiss is a kiss, hell a mouth and a tongue was just that, male or female.  I pushed away and she looked just as shocked as Spin and I was.  

  “I’m trying to please you baby and I…”

  “We, was gonna surprise you,” Tamekia said picking up my lie.  

  Spin smiled wickedly, “Well, don’t let me stop you.”  He closed the door and leaned against it.  

  Y’all, I had to do what I had to do.  My life depended on it.  We were caught and I knew my husband was packing.  I also knew Tamekia could take him out.  But I was thinking of the bigger picture.  

  That night I had my first and only lesbian experience.  

  We started kissing again.  My mind was rolling and I had no idea how to relax or get my mind off of it all.  We undressed and I felt like vomiting.  Mind you Tamekia is a dime, it’s just not my thing.  Spin watched as we kissed and played with each other.  He watched with a greedy look in his eyes and yes, we did do what you think we did.  And let me tell you eating couchie is nothing like sucking dick.  I’ll take it over that any day.  It’s just one member whereas our area got too much goin’ on.

  After we faked nuttin’ Spin tried to join but Tamekia said, “No, since you ruined the surprise you gotta wait.”  

  She grabbed her clothes and left me and my husband alone.  

  Even the great sex I had with him was not enough to un-disgust me and put my mind at ease.  Though Spin was working it and making love to me rather than fucking me.  It was actually romantic, but the romance was lost on me.  

  I was thinking about the bigger picture as we were laying in an awkward silence.  I needed to be wifey and play along.  I was gonna have to ride the shit until the wheels fell off.   So I broke the silence and said, “The Virgin Islands.”

Chapter 48

With Spin’s plan to run away in full swing my little meeting was boosted up two weeks.  I received a text from Janell who was programmed under Sista Patterson’s name.  

  I was supposed to be at the Oakland Hall of Justice at noon.  I called Vicky and asked if she’d come and pick me up so we could go shopping.  Spin gave me twenty thousand dollars from a safe in his office that I never knew existed.  I knew I’d be able to figure out the combination. 

  Vicky picked me up and through all the nervousness and excitement I left my cell.  Vicky took me to the Justice building and waited outside.  

  I was in there for two hours testifying in front of the grand jury.  It would have been longer, but Agents Tavern and Hodges already had my sworn statement and everything I needed to sign signed.  I was only there for the grand jury’s sake going through the motions. 

  I was walking out of the justice building when Vicky ran into me wearing a hoody.  “Walk this way,” she mumbled clutching her phone to her chest.  My heart was pounding.  What the fuck was wrong with this bitch.  “Spin’s on the phone,” she said handing me her BlackBerry as we walked down the street.  

  I looked down at her phone and my heart froze.  If Spin was indeed on the phone then he was calling from my cellphone.  My eyes got big as I began searching my big ass purse.  Nothing.  He had my cellphone.

  “Hello,” I said putting the phone to my ear.  My mouth was hella dry and my heart was barely beating as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.  

  “How are you my love?”  I swallowed hard.  “You left your cellphone.”

  “Yeah,” I said wishing I had put a password on my phone.  

  “Shi, when are you coming home?”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Oh, did you buy a lot of stuff?”

  “Yeah.”  My heart was now thumping and the change in vitals was driving me crazy.  

  “I can’t wait for you to show me it all.”

  I swallowed hard again feeling a tingle in-between my legs.  I had to pee.  I was fucking terrified at being caught, I don’t know why.  I mean I wasn’t physically scared of him… was I?

  What the fuck?  How, why was this happening?  

  His voice was flat and scary.  I knew he knew something and I guessed his police contacts were that damn good.  

  “Hurry home sweetie,” he sighed.  “I love you.”

  He hung up before I could say I loved him too.  I looked wide eyed at Vicky.  We were standing at a corner as if waiting for the light to change so we could walk across the street.  

  “Look over there by the fire hydrant,” she said.  I followed her finger.  “Don’t stare and stay in front of me.”

  I felt a little trickle of pee escape as my eyes tingled from the tears yearning to burst out.  Like I’ve done so often when my emotions were out of whack, my hand absentmindedly went up to my heart which was not there as I stared at my husband.

Chapter 49

There was no doubt in hell he knew.  Coincident?  Hell the fuck naw, and now that I thought about it I knew he had inside information.  I was trapped.

  I called King.  “I need you to come get me… us.”

  Vicky and I had walked forever and a day and caught a bus to the Emeryville Mall.  King picked us up at Ikea and took us to his hotel room.

  “What the fuck?” he said after our combined effort to let him know what was going on.  I was so not ready for this.  I did not pack a damn thing and I didn’t have my car.  All I had was 1.5 million dollars in a safe deposit box.  In anticipation of Spin getting caught I emptied out my bank account and started using our joint accounts to pay for everything I wanted.  

  No one could answer the question of how he knew, so we left it alone.  

  I called the shop.  “‘Nee I’ll explain later.  I need you to hold down the shop and reschedule my appointments with Biscuit and I’d call.”

  “Okay,” she said.  “Is everything alright?”

  “Of course, why?

  “Because, hella people includin’ yo’ husband been lookin’ fo’ you.”  

  My heart stopped.  “‘Nee, don’t tell my husband anything.”

  “I wouldn’t tell that sorry bastard a thing.  If you ask me-”

  “Ra’Nee, who else called?”

  “Oh, Janell, like hella time.  Said to tell yo’ ass Tam left because the kitchen was too hot.”

  “She leave a number?”  I wrote down the number and thanked Ra’Nee.  I hung up and called Janell.  When she answered and heard my voice she sounded so relieved.  I told her where I was.

  “Okay, good Shi.  Stay there.  Tamekia and Helen followed Spin, he left a little after you and Vicky.”  Fuck!  “He, I don’t know how but he knows.  I’m sorry Shi.”

  “Sorry?” I screamed.  “What do I do Janell?”

  “Get out of town, I’m sending B.I.T.C.H. to get you.  Ain’t no-way in hell you’ll get hurt with them.”

  “I like have nothing Janell.  Where’s Agent Hodges?  What about witness protection?  Come on talk to me.”

  “Shi, if he found out, then he has someone on the inside.  Forget about witness protection, I’m sending B.I.T.C.H. Shi.”

  I screamed.  I was sitting there tapping my foot, then I thought about my first home.  

  “Send them to Bay Road.  I got shit I gotta do.”

  “No Shi, please stay where you are and wait for B.I.T.C.H.”

  I looked at King and Vicky then shook my head.  I had some things at my first home and they’d been put there for an emergency.  This was an emergency if I’d ever seen one.  I had brand new clothes there, a closet full.  This was bullshit.  I knew I should have just up and bounce, fuck all the clothes and shit.  Just go and get my money out of the safety deposit box and leave.  I could buy all the shit I had again.  I knew I should have got the money and went and got on a plane, but something was keeping me here.  Something was making me stay in California.  

  “Janell, I’m worried about Dr. Richards,” I said though that was not on my mind until I said it.  Spin did not know where she lived and only knew her as Dr. Richards.  He didn’t even know what type of doctor she was.  

  “I’ll tell Tay and see if we can get some agents out there.”

  Didn’t this bitch just say that the feds were infiltrated?

  I sighed.  “‘ight, well I left my phone at home.  I’ll call when I get to E.P.A.”

  “Shi, be careful and whatever you do don’t go back home.”

  Why would I do that?

  “Bye.”

  I hung up knowing that going back home was exactly what I planned to do.

Chapter 49

It was almost five.  

  Spin was blowing Vicky’s phone up.  But, we were not answering.  King was going to the bank for the money.  It was decided for me that I had to leave.  He took Vicky’s keys and we dropped him off down the street from the Hall of Justice.  Then Vicky and I headed for the town.  

  It was decided by me that I needed to get out of Oakland, A.S.A.P.  

  Spin only knew about my apartment in East Palo Alto in passing.  After I got Vicky up in San Jose I was always there at ‘our place’ as it was called.  

  I got to the apartment without any problems.  Diamond stayed there with Double D and Dime.  The only person home at the time was Dime.  

  “Wha’z good S-square?” she asked when I walked in.  

  Bless her heart if she didn’t act like I came in at that time every day.  I heyed her and headed for my room.  I grabbed bags and clothes and the little bit of jewelry I kept there.  I was set up at the door in less than an hour.  King had gotten Vicky’s car and made it to the bank before it closed.  He cleaned out the safety deposit box and was on his way to purchase three plane tickets at the San Jose airport in cash.  

  I was sitting at the door waiting with my mind racing.  I forgot all about calling Janell.  Something was on my mind and distracting me.  I wasn’t all there and Vicky noticed.  

  “Shi?”

  “I have to go back.”  She looked at me like I was crazy.  I skipped the story about Tamekia but told her I’d taken off the necklace before I showered and forgot to put it back on.  It was sitting on my vanity.  “I can’t leave it.”  I was torn and it was the sentimental value which I guess was getting me.  I couldn’t just up and leave Free’s heart.  It was all of anyone I had left and there was no amount of money that could compare or compensate for that.  I was not leaving it behind.  

  I guess maybe I was in shock or not appreciating the danger I was in.  I don’t know.  Vicky was silent as she searched my eyes.  

  “Where is it?” she finally asked.  

  “On my vanity in the room,” I said.  Vicky was headed for the door.  “Vicky?”

  “I’ll be back Shi.”

  “No, hell naw.”

  “Shi, let me do this for you okay.  I love you and you’ve done so much for me.”

  Tears were making their way down my cheeks.  Vicky smiled and I hugged her as the tears began tracing a line down my neck.  

  “I’m gonna call and tell him to come get me.  Give me yo’ phone.”  I took Vicky’s phone and called Spin.  My heart was pounding and I had no idea what I was going to say or what he was going to say.  Hell, maybe I didn’t need to say anything.  

  “Where are you Shi?” was the way he answered the phone.  He sounded calm and it was scaring the hell out of me.  

  “I’m at Vicky’s.  Can you come and get me?”

  There was no questioning.  No why?  Just an, “I’ll see you in a few.”  And he hung up.

  I looked at Vicky, handed her back her phone and said, “Be careful.”

  She smiled and took off. 

  I sat there sweating bullets leaning over the damn edge.  Dime was in her room as I paced the floor.  The only thing that made me feel safe was the gun I’d placed in my waistband behind my back.  I had a little nine I kept here just in case.  A bitch had guns everywhere.  

  Vicky called the house once she was on the bridge and we stayed on the phone until she got to Oakland.  By then Diamond and Double D were home and King was on his way from the airport.  B.I.T.C.H. were in a SUV downstairs waiting on me, but they would just have to wait.  Not only did King need to come back but I wasn’t going anywhere without Vicky.

  I knew I was not safe in the Bay.  My husband had eyes and ears everywhere and an underground man hunt was more thorough and dangerous than an APB or a police search.  Even with all that in mind I was waiting. 

  Vicky was in the house and at my vanity.  “Got it,” she said and I felt a weight lift from my chest.  I was so fucking relieved.  All I needed now was for her ass to get out of the house and make it back safe.  “Someone’s calling… fuck, it’s… Spin!?” she yelled his name and the phone went dead.  

  I looked at it.  “Vicky?  Vicky?” I yelled at the phone.  I tried calling back with my heart in my throat.  

  “Shi?” Diamond was standing in the hall watching me.  She and the other two had no idea what was going on.  They were going about business as usual while I sat there damn near pulling my hair out.  Vicky did not answer her phone.  I was panicking as I called again.  Nothing could happen to Vicky.  I needed her, what would I do without her?  I hung up when I was sent straight to voicemail and then tried calling again as I tried to convince myself that her phone was just dead, but I couldn’t.  I wasn’t stupid.

  I called Janell and told her about Vicky.  It was the first time I’d called.  I knew B.I.T.C.H. was outside because Diamond saw them out front.  

  “I told y’all not to go back, why would she… Let me call Tay, just stay put Shi.  Don’t go looking for her, we’ll find her.”

  I hung up.  I was not staying put, I’d be damned.  I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.  

  “I need a car,” I called grabbing a pair of keys off the table.  I guess they were Double D’s because she said something, but I didn’t catch it.  I grabbed the door knob, swung the door open and screamed as my heart pulled one of its stopping numbers.  Standing in front of me in a long tee and jeans was my motha fuckin’ husband.

Chapter 50

“Did I scare you?”   I was holding my chest.  I had no idea what to say.  “I thought you said you was at Vicky’s but then I thought maybe you’d said here,” he said walking in the door.  “Vicky wasn’t answering her phone so I could confirm, so I decided to stop by here first.”  He closed the door behind him.  “Good thing I didn’t drive all the way to San Jose first.  Hey D.”

  Double D smiled and gave a shy wave.  

  Spin looked around and spotted my bags, “You did do a lot of shopping.”

  He was acting so, so like nothing happened-ish.  Either he was one helluva actor which I admit I thought he was or he was really in the dark.  I mean I was expecting a punch in the mouth.  He turned his back to me and I was so shocked that my instinct to put one in his ass didn’t kick in.  He was grabbing bags and I guess it did look like I’d been shopping.  

  “Let’s go, your phones in the car,” he said with a hand full of bags.  I knew the nigga went through it, he had to.  I stared at him for a second not moving.  

  I needed to find Vicky.  I had to find Vicky.  I needed to know what happened to her.  I needed to know she was safe.  Though I could have been walking into a trap I didn’t care.  I was strapped and B.I.T.C.H. was sitting downstairs.  They would see us walking out since they were in the front.  

  “Ladies first.  I’m parked in the garage,” he said.

  Hell, so much for seeing B.I.T.C.H.

  I nervously walked to the back stairs debating an all-out run.  But Vicky kept popping up in my mind.  

  Spin’s Escalade was parked next to the stairs in the underground parking garage.  He put my bags in the back leaving me alone at the passenger side door.  I felt something had to be up, unless he really didn’t know.  He couldn’t know.   Why would he leave me open to run?  

  He came around and opened my door.  I climbed in and he closed it behind me.  He wasn’t treating me like a snitch or a prisoner.  We drove out of the garage and I saw B.I.T.C.H. parked in a black SUV in front of the complex.  Deciding to play as stupid as him I said, “Look there’s Ari and ‘em.”  I reached over and blew the horn.  

  We both waved at them.  Even in the dark I knew they had to see me.  I sat back in my seat looking in the side mirror waiting for a sign that they saw me.  The SUV didn’t move.

  Fuck!

  Spin and I waved and then he continued straight and made a right onto University.   I almost screamed out in excitement when I saw the SUV flip a bitch before we were on University.  I was trying to make sure my breathing did not give me away.  

  “It’s in the glove compartment,” he said turning up 106.1 KMEL. 

  I slowly opened the glove compartment fully expecting a bomb or acid to shoot out at me.  Sitting there playing all domestic was killing me.  Fuck, it was like I was just sitting there waiting for the nigga to react.  The knowing he knew but then questioning if he really knew was what was eating me alive.  I was even wondering how much he knew.  The only thing in the glove compartment was my cell.  I exhaled silently as I grabbed it.  I pressed the middle button and slid my finger across the screen to unlock it.  I flipped through my missed calls as if I was happy to have it back.  I called Vicky, but she didn’t answer.  

  My next call was to Ari.  

  “Shi, we’re behind you.”

  “I know, we saw y’all.  What was y’all doing?”

  “Where are you going?” Brittany asked me knowing what I was doing.  

  “No, we’re going home now.  My husband came and got me.  How’s Daniel?”  I was giving her as much as I could.  Spin looked over at me and smiled.  I tried to act comfortable.  I kicked off my shoes and put my feet up.  

  “Janell said they got the green light.  They are going to pick up D-loc right now to arrest him.  He thinks I’m on my way.”

  “Really?  You think he knows you’re pregnant?”   Spin looked at me and I smiled at him nodding.

  “Congratulations Ari,” he said. 

  I laughed nervously.  “Spin says congrats,” I relayed to her.

  “I don’t think he knows anything.  But then we thought Spin was in the dark.  They were supposed to be going to Atlanta today but for some reason they’re not and he wants me home.”

  “Damn, really?”

  “What about Spin?  What’s going on?”

  “As sweet as ever.  He came to pick me up from a day of shopping.  We ain’t necessarily been trying, but I don’t mind kids.”  That was true, we hadn’t been trying to have kids, and I was thinking I was infertile.  We didn’t use protection, like at all and I wasn’t on the pill.  Still I’ve yet to get pregnant.

  “‘ight Shi.  I’m gonna call Janell and fill her in.  Be safe and text me when you can.  Keep me posted.”

  I smiled and said, “Alright and don’t trip off me girl.  You know I got it.”

  “You strapped?” she asked excitedly.

  “To the nine,” I said with a genuine smile.

  Brittany laughed and the line clicked.  I decided to text King instead of calling him.  After that I called Vicky again and got voicemail again. 

  We were on 280 when Spin broke the silence.  “Shi, you know you can tell me anything right?”

  “Uh, huh,” I said bobbing my head to the Lounge.

  “Then why don’t you?  I know what you’ve been doing?”

  I froze, then started moving my hand behind me.  I moved my hand towards my gun real slick like and then I waited for him to explain.  His next word could be his last.  

  I’d wondered if I was ready for this, to kill him if I really had to.  I wasn’t sure.  But now that I was faced with this situation I knew I was ready.  

  “I found Will.”  My heart slowed and then began to beat awkwardly.  My phone was going crazy with texts.  I didn’t take my hand off my gat.  “I didn’t put it together until I found him in the room.  An accidental overdose?” Spin laughed.  “Then, I remembered Tiny and I was like oh my, my little wifey.  Ruthless.”  

  “How’d you find out?”

  He shrugged and I was starting to relax a little for some reason.

  “I done pistol whipped and gun butted half the Bay.  I know how it looks.  See, you were the only one, it had to be you.  I just don’t know why?” he explained and then went silent.   I guess that was my queue.  

  I guess I was feeling dangerous because I told the truth.  “They raped me.”

  Spin turned towards me.  “Tiny?  Will?  When?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  He looked heated.

  I was shaking my head.  “It’s was a long time ago.  So long that I nearly forgot until I saw them.”

  He was silent as we exited the freeway.  Once we were off the way-way he asked, “Kidd too?”  I nodded staring at the side of his face when my phone began ringing.  It was King.  I had not texted him back in a while and I knew he was worried.  But he’d have to wait.  “When I heard about him,” he shrugged.  “Nigga from the Rich, no need to be up in Redwood.”

  “Yeah,” I responded.

  He looked over at me then giggled.  “You know I love you Shi.  You straight ruthless boo.  Got away with murder.  Shit, remind me never to cheat again.”  I tried to make my laugh sound genuine.  “I’d rather be with you.  Shiesty Shi, damn, aye, I been thinking all day.  Why don’t we stay?  Get a new spot somewhere and run this bitch?  Me and you, huh?”

  I was in stunned silence.    

  “Check me out.  I went down town today and talked to my contact at P.D.  I been trippin’ lately ‘cause I had niggas up in my ear tellin’ me shit I didn’t wanna hear,” he said sounding tired.  “But, they was discredited today.  My man say he ain’t heard shit.  It’s been dead as a mouse and my name ain’t been mentioned in years.  And the murders, they had no suspects.”

  Fuck that’s why he was downtown.  Shit, could he not have seen me?

  “Yeah, when I got the word from him I called you A.S.A.P.  I was hella juiced and it was taking all of me not to tell you over the phone.  I don’t trust phones like that.”

  Oh, my, God.  I was no longer holding my gun.  I slowly picked up my phone not believing what I was hearing.  I responded to five text messages and cleared my twelve missed calls none of which were from Vicky.  

  “Who been whisperin’ in yo’ ear?” I tried to see if I knew them or if it was the feds.

  “Don’t trip, they gonna get taken care of just like anyone else who get in our way,” he said.

  We lapsed into silence for a while as he drove.  My mind wrapping around the luck I was having I sent out a mass text:

  ‘I’m safe, don’t worry.  He’s in the dark.  I’ll explain later.’

  I got more texts and calls, but I ignored them.

  “You didn’t get my calls?”

  “Huh?”

  “I been calling Vick—” he stopped and then started shaking his head.  “Never mind, that ole skank bitch ain’t been answering.  I bet she didn’t even tell you I was callin’, it’s good though she gonna be gettin’ hers.”

  “Aye, that’s my bitch, what happens to her happens to me,” I said speaking up for Vicky as he drove through the gates and up the path to the house.  I was reminded of the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith as we pulled to a stop in front of the house.  

  “So, what do you say?  I’ll leave it all and run away if you want but baby, with you Sky’s the limit.”  

  Fuck!  If he’d made the offer sooner.  I had to think… or did I?  I’d be in a better position to give up information.  I was already promised immunity.  I smiled at him, leaned over and kissed him.  I guess taking that as a yes he smiled and jumped out of the car.  He rushed around to my side and opened my door.  I threw my phone into my purse and got out looking up at the house.  It looked dark and silent.  Not one light seemed to be on. 

  “You seen Tamekia?” he asked as we walked up the steps.  

  “Oh, yeah I gave her the week off since she been—” I stopped short.  My throat went numb and I was ready to go for my gun again.  How did he know her real name?  “Tamekia?” I said in a hoarse voice.

  He turned slowly with a lifted eyebrow looking me up and down.  “Yeah, our maid.”

  I had a very bad feeling as my heart pounded.  Oh, yeah the nigga was a good actor.  I swear I was gonna have a fucking heart attack with all this shit going on.  

  “You mean Rita,” I asked.

  “Shit,” he laughed.  “That is her name isn’t it?”

  He was standing on the granite slab, the one I’d never asked about.  Though Vicky was on my brain I had enough sense to finally ask while it was on my mind and he was there.

  “What’s up with that?” I said pointing under his feet.

  He looked down and then laughed.  “Oh this shit?  I never told you about this?”  I shook my head and leaned over to read the inscription.  “I forgot all about this shit?”

  “The first step is always the hardest, but once it’s made only then does your journey begin.  This is my first step out of the old life I lived and into the new chapter I write.  Making brick without straw,” I read out loud.

  Spin looked at me and nodded.  “No secrets, we husband and wife, partners.  Plus, after what you did to Will and Tiny, I don’t feel that bad,” he said with a smile.  “‘ight, back in the bible days in Egypt when Israel were enslaved, they were put through hella shit.  The Egyptians were cruel.  It got to a point when the Pharaoh took all the straw which was the main ingredient in the brick they were making to build the pyramids.  And still they were expected to keep working as if nothing happened.  They were forced to do the impossible and that was make something out of nothing, and they did.  They somehow made brick without straw.”

  I was fucking stunned by his philosophical ass.  His ass was serious too.  I mean I had no idea he knew that type of shit.  The concept was a good one and I wondered if he thought of it himself.  I mean I was freakin’ impressed by this side of him, the side I had not seen in a long time.  

  “So it’s a metaphorical stepping stone?” I asked trying to let him know a bitch was smart too and understood.  Though maybe I was just stalling before going inside.  I had not seen King’s car which Vicky was driving.  I guess she would have hid it on the street, or she was no longer there.  She was probably on her way back to P.A. if not here already.  

  But then why ain’t she answering her phone?

  I couldn’t help but feel something happened to her.  It was a challenge, but I kept my panic at bay.

  “Naw, literal,” Spin said in response to my question.  “It’s a crypt or urn… they put bodies in urns right?”  

  I screwed up my face and looked from him to the stone.  “Yeah.”

  “Then that’s what this is?”

  “Spin, a body is in there?” I asked shocked and feeling kinda grossed out.

  He shook his head, “Naw the ashes.”

  “Who’s?” I asked feeling grossed out.  The nigga was fucking crazy.  

  “Long story, but it’s a kill that set all this in motion and solidified my position up top.  He’s the reason I’m here, we’re here.  I’d still be nickel and diming for T-money without his ass.  After I killed his ass there was no turning back so…”  He turned to the door and put his key in.  “Took this nigga and his family, I erased his ass.”

  My heart was barely beating as I reached for my gat.  He pushed the door open and I asked, “What was his name?”

  He was in the house looking out at me.  “Some nigga name Free from P.A.”

  I had my gun out and he saw it.  I squeezed off all my rounds, but he hit the ground and I missed.  I looked down at him still pulling the trigger and saw him reach behind him.  I saw his glock come out in slow motion as the dry clicks of my gun filled the air.  I was out of bullets and gonna have to take this nigga out with my hands.  I didn’t care if he had a gun.  He killed my family, my brother was his doormat.  

  Lights flew on blinding and stunning me as voices boomed from everywhere.  Through the brightness that burned my eyes and caused an instant headache I saw Spin seize up and drop his gun convulsing.  He was being tased.  I looked around as bodies swarmed around me.  I looked back to Spin, I was still holding my gun.  

  “Drop it!  Drop the gun and put your hands up!” I heard the loud voice screaming at me.  

  I was vaguely aware of guns pointing at me.  

  If looks could kill Spin would have been dead.  And if I had just one more bullet I would have kept the gun in my hand and shot his ass.  The only and I mean only reason I dropped it was because there was nothing left in the clip or the chamber.

>END OF SAMPLE<